The Geekiest Girls You Know

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

2012-01-30T18:38:00.003-05:00

This short film is up for an Academy Award and for good reason. If you love books even a little then you need to watch it. I got a flashback to that one scene in MirrorMask (you'll know it when you see it), which reminds me I need to rewatch that movie. This film is sweet and moving and I just want to wrap myself up in it.

Like the description says, it's about "people who devote their lives to books and books who return the favor." Go, watch, be made incredibly happy.

Jayne makes her triumphant return with yet more Off World 2

2012-01-11T19:18:00.005-05:00

So remember how I said I would post the next part within two weeks and it’s been two months because like the super soldiers I am made of failgenes? Yeah, my bad. Mostly I spent the last two months baking and eating baked goods and then beached myself like a whale after eating all the aforementioned baked goods. I was too stuffed full of delicious baked goods to recap any of Zombie Vaughan’s bullshit.

So welcome back to my review/snarky recap of Off World 2: Sanctuary. Unlike the last book, this one is actually readable, so alas I am sober for this. When we last left our heroes they were pretending to be boyfriends so Alex’s boss would stop bugging him to engage in public sex shows, which didn’t work as his boss did just that. D’abu sprouts wood every time Alex breathes, and Zombie Vaughan’s handling of a recovering rape victim with PTSD is not completely awful. No one is more surprised than me.

Head’s up on format change: given the length of the chapters and my inability to be brief, I’m going to be recapping three chapters per part, instead of the usual five. Thus each part won’t be two hundred pages long and I won’t get burned out writing them (ahahahaha yeah right).

Let’s get on with it.

Read MOAR! »

Whatever Happened to Eden? Oh, it just tried to eat us.

2011-12-15T20:51:00.004-05:00

I found Miss Darcy's Bug Pokemon theory so thrilling that I had to share Naughty Dog's latest "The Last of Us" game unveiling to petrify her even further. The game features a young woman and an older gentleman who try to survive in a post-apocalyptic world. Yes, it's another Zombie game my dears, however unlike previous Zombipocalypse endeavours, this one terrifies even my dusty little heart. The theory behind it's horrifying evolution is that there is a fungus that attacks insects, taking over their nervous system and causing them to act absurdly. It eventually began to transform mammals and the like.

How could this be so terrifying, you may ask? It has been confirmed by National Geographic and various other media (BBC Planet Earth) that this fungus exists. It's name is Cordyceps.

THEM!

If you'd rather not read the article, it boils down to this, the Cordyceps takes over the insects body, often resulting in their separation from the colony. The fungus then begins to slowly fill the innards of the insect and causes the creature to behave oddly as its muscles go to waste. It takes about nine days for the "zombification" to be complete. Nine days before a dying ant becomes completely zombified in which they will become a launching site for more spores to come.

"I want to be inside you" never applied quite so well before.

Now just imagine if you took that large Bug Pokemon, Miss D? And Zombified it? Should we stop there? There are spotted horse flies that can burrow under the skin and deposit their larva inside living flesh in the southern states of North America. Perhaps, if they were contaminated with this fungus and they burrowed, then what might happen? Oh dear, I hope you all have night terrors this evening.
Honestly, it's only a matter of time before we're all spore heads walking around like the living dead with our Overlord, Hades and his barrage of horrible laughs.

"I'm comin' and who's a fungi? eh? c'mon? Nothing?"

I thought I'd be ready for a Zombiepocalpyse, but if they're covered in fungus, I'll douse myself in petrol and light one. K Thanks.

Straight to Hell, lads. - Rook

I'll make this brief, but I had to share

2011-12-14T19:10:00.000-05:00

So, recently the nightmare fodder above, dubbed the Giant Weta, was discovered in the wilds of New Zealand by horrible, creepy people who think bugs are cool. This particular one is their overlord, the greatest of the giant weta, (which if she breeds, will lead to only gianter-weta...good luck sleeping on that thought.)

I, upon seeing this image and being a girl-nerd, had two immediate and distinct reactions.

The first, the stronger, the girl reaction:

OH MY SWEET KENTUCKY FRIED CHRIST WHAT IS IT!? WHY IS IT!? THE HORRORS THAT LIE WITHIN ALAN MOORE'S BEARD HAVE GAINED ACCESS TO OUR DIMENSION! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH ALL THE FIRES!!!

The second reaction, the nerd reaction, was slightly more embarrassing:

OH MAH GAH THEY FOUND BUG POKEMON! WE GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

also, as an afterthought: Man! Bug Pokemon suck!

That is all.
Don't Judge Me
~Darcy

How could I resist? HINT: I couldn't (part 1)

2011-11-04T22:50:00.022-04:00

So you may remember that a couple years ago I did a four part review of the book Off World by Stephanie Vaughan (spoiler: it was awful). You may remember that I didn't like. At all. Also, I drank a lot. It was not a good book for my liver.

Anyway, I may have mentioned at the end of the review/drunken sobbing that there was a sequel and that I would read and review it if someone paid me to. Well, no one did, but my friend, who apparently loves watching me rage and/or get drunk, bought me a copy of that book. Since I did not give Stephanie Vaughan my money, I get to review it (or, more likely, bitterly snark about it).

The book is Off World 2: Sanctuary, and is less a sequel and more a second book in the series. And it's surprisingly not horrible. I know, I know, I'm shocked too. Don't get me wrong, it's not even close to being a great book, much less a good one, but it is light years better than the first one, mainly because the main characters are actually likable and Zombie Vaughan doesn't really attempt a plot, which, let's be honest, she is awful at.

So basically, this review is probably going to follow the format of the first, in which I take it chapter by chapter, not because it is a train wreck of epic proportions, but because I like to go in depth when I mock things. Also, since I have the book on my nook, I will be including the notes I wrote instead of any text messages. Oh, and if anyone is wondering why I refer to Stephanie Vaughan as Zombie Vaughan, it's because in the first book she foreshadowed a frankly ridiculous plot development that I said if she went through with she would be dead to me. She did and so she is still dead to me. Now, let's get started.

To recap the first book: there was an incomprehensible plot, heroes were horrible human beings, and there was a lot of gay sex. The end.

That's not enough? Fine. So the background you need for this book is that Caleb, formerly Our Dear Fucking Hero, went chasing after and meeting up with Sarhaan and his group of eugenically engineered soldiers, half of who are implausibly gay. Sarhaan and his merry band of soldiers zombie Vaughan doesn't bother giving names and/or personalities to, stole the ship Vigilante and fled Republic/an Earth (which may or may not be a planet wide government), where being homosexual (which in the context of the book is only men, as lesbians are never mentioned ever) is punishable by death. Sarhaan and the others were being framed for the murder of several prostitutes for reasons never made clear, and Caleb's dead fag hag, Daphne, was murdered as she investigated, prompting him to ditch earth for the failgenes soldiers.

Sarhaan and Caleb fuck a lot and fall in love, and frankly two people as horrible as them deserve each other. Along the way we meet D'abu, the only useful person in the entire book, and Alex, who solved the "plot" because he overheard a conversation when he worked as a prostitute at Earthly Pleasures, where he met Sarhaan and the implausibly named Xai Kuwicha, Sarhaan's second in command. This is their story (chun chun).

Read MOAR! »

Artist Ally: Fluffy Muffinface

2011-11-04T22:22:00.000-04:00

Or maybe I'll call it Fan Art Friday? I dunno. either way I'm thinking of making this a regular feature (if anything so I don't have a valid "can't think of anything to write" excuse not to post.) I'll post an artist, link you to thier website or deviant art site or whatever and then rant at length about why I chose them or why they're awesome...or nothing at all. I AM THE DECIDER. I'll also feature a peice that especially speaks to me. I invite my fellow author-ess's to run with this idea as well! I'll try to stick to a geeky theme, but I can't promise to remember that! So here goes!

My First Annual Artist Ally selection is inspired by the fact that my boyfriend and I are both binging on Star Trek episodes. (Probably more than the legal limit, but in my defense I'm watching the original series and the NextGen eps...he's watching Voyager and DS9. Clearly I'm consuming quality and he is snarfing down the sci-fi television equivalent of a Twinkie. Neither one of us will sink to the depths of Enterprise...despite the cloying call of all that is Bakula.)

This fantastic artist, (who's live journal is here, and whose deviant art page is here) goes by the name Fluffy Muffinface (or...Jemma). Also went through a marathon run of Star Trek tOS episodes, and this hysterical series of web-comics were her response to all that ridiculous-ness. Obviously you will have to have seen the referenced episode to truly appreciate these, but the whole damn series is streaming on the Netflix so what's your excuse now HMMM!?

-ahem- I'll post a few here, but you can see them all at this link! (Don't miss expanding each of the posts for more comics!) Please to Enjoy.

Read MOAR! »

A Shocking lack of Mandy Patinkin!

2011-10-07T19:08:00.003-04:00

I've been felled by the plague of late, and watching a lot of "comfort movies" in my jammies. I was just watching the Princess Bride the other day and recalling all the warm fuzzies it's given me over the years. Imagine my delight when I stumble across this video today! (it looked something like this)

The cast of the Princess Bride, one of my favorite and most quoted movies of all time, reunited on Good Morning America this morning! And may I say LOOKING GOOD MR. ELWES! Also Buttercup! Guy what played Vizzini looks unchanged which is mystifying...Billy Crystal is ADORABLE as ever...the video is worth watching just for his story about Andre the Giant. Why no Mandy Patinkin!? Or Fred Savage? What could they possibly be doing? Anyway, prepare for an overwhelming urge to watch the Princess Bride in comfy pajamas!

video platform video management video solutions video player

Who had to re-watch this clip six times in order to see anyone who isn't Cary "Speaks with a Real British Accent" Elwes? (Me....it was me.)

If I ever saw Cary in the street I think I'd be more tempted to get him to quote Robin Hood Men in Tights..."Are you happy, darling?"...yeah...

~Darcy

So. This happened.

2011-10-07T00:11:00.002-04:00

Just when I think Japan can't possibly produce anything more horrifying, I find this:

(via nanshe-of-nina.tumblr.com)

Why?

That's all I got. Why does this exist? WHY, JAPAN, WHY? ANSWER ME.

This is like the Arc of the Covenant and if you stare at it too long your face melts off.

Bonus, here is the exact conversation I had with my hetero lifemate when we saw this. (She's in bold, I'm italics)

Oh god...I would have actually made Dave Gibbons the bottom BUT THAT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER I CAN'T UNSEE THAT NOW.

I WOULD HAVE MADE HIM THE BOTTOM TOO. Also, twenty bucks says Moore is a power bottom.

JESUS WHAT IS WRONG WITH US

THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG WITH US SO MUCH

I feel like Alan Moore KNOWS what we just talked about.

Oh, he knows. We probably won't live through the night.

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Wonder Woman needs a Wonder Bra

2011-10-02T17:24:00.000-04:00

(Also titled Boobs Do Not Work That Way! BACK TO YOU!)

Thank you, Morbo.

This is a thought that spun violently, like Darth Vader in a tie fighter, away from Wonder Woman's widely debated costume change this past summer

I'd like to take a moment to talk about boobs.

They're super popular, they're functional and they come in all shapes and sizes! Here's a super informative, super graphic wikipedia article! (NSFW) I'd like to draw particular attention to a specific passage:

There is considerable variation in the volume, shape, size and spacing of a woman's breasts.^[9] They vary in size, density, shape, sag and position on a woman's chest, and their external appearance is not predictive of their internal anatomy or potential for nursing.

Fascinating! You learned something today!

But it would seem these facts do no apparently apply to Super Heroines.

There are at least four examples in the above who have given birth in some continuity and their junk is still in mint condition! Not cool! Ok, ok so this is sort of unfair, they are fictional, fantastic, regularly athletic specimens of woman-hood and probably shouldn't be held to realistic standards...but I'm gonna do it anyway! So there!

We women, here in reality land, go through a lot to make "the girls" stand up and face front. In fact there is a long a torturous history of strapping our bits into a multitude of sweaty medieval wire-framed monstrosities that both lift and separate. It's necessary, nobody thinks saggy boob looks good. (Support your ta-tas! It's good for your back! Here is some more helpful and informative reading material! Also NSFW.)

But I can probably find you lots of examples of fictional characters in general and female superheroes specifically whose often ample "ladies" seem to sit at attention without the assistance of anything more than sheer willpower.

Recent issues of Catwoman have made it vividly clear that Selena does in fact wear a bra under her leather catsuit. It is what appears to be a strapless frothy lace selection from a lingerie catalog,

but it's there. This at least proves her sweater kittens are being supported by something other than skintight leather and a prayer. But how, I ask you, can she then take off at a sprint up several flights of stairs and take flying leaps off of building and scaffolds and what-have-you without so much as a nip slip!? There aren't even straps on that thing! I have to readjust my own bra several times a day just sitting at a desk!

Boobs, as I'm sure you know, are not stationary objects. (At least, not real ones.) They are sacks of goo, just as susceptible to the laws of physics as everything else. No matter what their alignment, it seems that super-boobs are breaking the law.

I'll try to put this as delicately as possible. The act of running or jumping or fighting, especially for a woman with...assets, (and I speak from personal experience) can be painful unless you strap those puppies down. This is why sports bras exist.

I can almost give a pass to characters like Power Girl, (Can't talk about super-boobs without at least mentioning her.) I don't care how powerful she is, she shouldn't be able to stand up straight for more than ten minutes at a stretch, never-mind lift buses over her head! (Her back muscles are probably ridiculous looking.) But, she's super strong, so whatever. Her costume isn't that bad. It seems reasonably hardy and maybe has built in structure (and possibly industrial strength double-sided tape to prevent peeping) to support her ridiculous rack. I don't know and I doubt the people who designed her costume thought very hard about it.

But that's my beef! And so I say to thee, comic book creators, artists, writers, publishers, ALL of you! BOOBS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!

I'll speak specifically on the costume design issues. I'm gonna use more DC examples because I'm more familiar with DC characters but here's the thing: Power Girl ain't where my problem is.

Read MOAR! »

Jayne finds another book to feel smugly superior to

2011-03-29T15:27:00.017-04:00

Hey, remember back in June I was going to do a book log once a week and then did one and then turned into a hermit never to be heard from again? Yeah, good times. I have emerged from my hermitude to do my favorite thing in the world: mock the hell out of something. Awhile ago I got a couple of gift cards to Borders. I picked up several books, some good, and others the literary equivalent to a bag of potato chips: contains no redeeming nutritional value but it's tasty and fills a craving. The potato chip book this time around was Doppelgangster by Laura Resnick.
As you can tell by the cover, this is one of those paint by the numbers urban fantasy books: cis white woman in skimpy dress holding a weapon while arching her impeccably plucked eyebrows to look menacing. By this we can deduce she is a Strong Female Character.

By now you should know that I love strong female characters--I hunger for them--but Strong Female Characters not so much. Having a female lead, either as protagonist or antagonist, who is fully developed and has flaws and ambitions and drive like a real live person is still relatively rare. What we get instead is the Strong Female Character, who is overwhelmingly a white, cis-gendered, thin woman, wearing revealing outfits--short dresses or skirts or sleeveless tops baring their midriff, maybe a tattoo or two, all the while giving bedroom eyes to the reader--who are two-dimensional, lazy cardboard cutouts that kick ass, because she is STRONG, because, you know, women can't be strong in other ways, like emotionally because that's icky girl stuff and no one wants that. Again, I enjoy seeing women kicking ass, but having them beat up men is lazy GRRRL POWER appropriation of feminism and limits them to caricatures.

Read MOAR! »

Something worth playing for.

2010-11-06T22:59:00.002-04:00

While waltzing around the interwebs this evening, I came across a video that made me think. Now, thinking is one thing I've been avoiding for the past bit, with the end of my teaching degree coming up. And after typing paper after paper and working with students, staff, and parents, I wind up a little fried by the end of the night.
Back to my point;
I was watching a TED conference video when I saw one about video games and how they could improve the world. Curiosity had me bad by this point, so I clicked. Maybe you will too.
Gaming can make a better world, by Jane McGonigal
You can, at this point, watch it or not. The basic idea is that by gaming, we learn to work together and achieve, and by learning all kinds of behaviors online, we can apply them to the real world using a model we're already used to.
So at the end, she talks about a new game they developed called Evoke. In this, they not only set up a theoretical world with a problem, but they back up details of the story with current issues and technology.
The effect is to make the story so believable, and the steps to 'solve' the story's problem so obtainable, that you realize this could be a serious problem we are facing right now, and that we could do something about it now if we try. Heck, they offer you steps and goals to achieve (and ideas to pick from) that could make this all possible.
You sir, with you're natural ability to achieve small goals like in WOW, are completely prepared to help us solve starvation in other nations. How? Blog about our project, and then let us know you did. Own some piece of information about changes that can be made. Small ones. Then let us know you let others know. Once you have networked what you learned, we'll give you a bonus and your next mission. Congrats; you're already on your way to saving our world. We all are. We can do it together.
I took the bait, or at least a little. I looked it up. My favorites were Innovation comes from constraint, and Don't fight culture. When humans needed to stand upright to walk, we figured out how to as a means to solving a problem. We never had a need to change our ways until we were desperate. Some people won't live with so little money until they need to. Struggle often brings the fire out of people and the ability to try something new, something that might allow them to live a little longer. Culture, in this example I mean when everyone does the same thing and it still works, even if it's not the best, is something you should leave alone. If they bike long distances to work because they think cars are the devil, don't mess with that by pushing the devil on them. Make bike paths, improve their current bikes for a low cost, offer free repairs, make nice cushions for their butts. Work with us, not against us. Show the people that you are working for them first, and they will work with you to continue the aide.
There it is. If I ever get around to involving myself in this project more, I have already taken the first step. Will you? Is it possible for us, the online community of nerds and gamers, to become activists in our spare time? If just to unlock the codded Avatar program Alchemist uses?

Until we meet again,
Dancing Shadow

I could make a joke about a Feminist flowchart that somehow involves menstruation...but I wont.

2010-10-11T16:31:00.006-04:00

I found something amazing on the internets!

Shocking, I know, cause when does that happen?

But srsly, take a look. The author, who writes for Overthinkingit.com and frequently writes some of my fav articles from that site, put it together with help from an Adobe Illustrator guru.

It illustrates some really interesting points about female characters and just how easy it is for them to fall into the pit of cliches. I especially like the option for the character who gets pregnant: Is she a teenager>yes>does she get pregnant>yes>does she get an abortion>HaHa, of course she doesn't>HAPPY TEENAGE SINGLE MOM.

Run some of your favorite female characters through it, see where they fall. Run some characters of your own through it, you may be surprised! I ran three characters from three of my favorite TV shows/books and two of my own characters through the chart...needless to say I like two of my favorite shows a little less and am utterly scrapping one of the stories I started two months ago...-sigh-

Please to enjoy...

2010-09-28T16:17:00.003-04:00

Gail Simone is my HERO. She penned the episode of Batman: Brave & the Bold,(a fantastic show that I've personally pimped on this blog before.)titled: The Mask of Matches Malone!
Batman loses his memory and turns to crime. The Birds of Prey (Huntress, Black Canary, and Catwoman(?) with no Oracle, much to my sadness) are called in to get him back. This leads to a hilarious scene with the Birds breaking into a slinky song about the other Heroes on the show; Batman, Aquaman, the Flash, and Blue Beetle, and their uh...skills.
This song..I don't even...I can't...kid's show?...THERE ARE NO WORDS.

AHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
~Darcy

Represent!

2010-09-11T10:18:00.002-04:00

Geek and Gamer Girls Song - Watch more Funny Videos

So, OK...I wish their voices didn't vaguely remind me of a nightmare that I had once about my cats being violently murdered by an out of tune accordion/Casio keyboard, and there are probably some sexualization/exploitation issues to be discussed here BUT, the message of the song itself is awesome and I want it for my ringtone or something equally lame. Also, Seth Green is awesome and adorable like a Pokemon and I want to keep him in my pocket.

Lyrics posted below!

Team Unicorn: G33K & G4M3R Girls

(Seth)

Greetings Nerdom…

Let’s take a Journey…

(Team Unicorn: First verse)

I, know a place

Where the gamer scores are so extreme

Dune, D & D,

Where Rand Al’tbor still reigns supreme

Questin’, in Hyrule

Dominating Final Fantasy (Seven)

Those boys

Losin’ sleep

Tryin’ ta keep up with our Leet speak (noob sauce)

Be part of our world

In latex and bows

Cuz’ we girls play Cos’

Set our phasers to stun

You’ll be falling in love

Ooooooh oh ooooooh

(Team Unicorn - Chorus)

Geek and Gamer girls

We’re unbelievable

Comic books

And Manga in stock

Hasbro toys

So rare

We got the mail-away

Ooooooh oh ooooooh

Geek and Gamer girls

We’re undefeatable

FPS

Achievement unlocked

Jedi’s represent

Now put your sabers up

Oooooooh oh ooooooh

(Team Unicorn - Verse 2)

We, love Stan Lee (Excelsior!)

And Joss created all our favorite shows

We Frag

In our sleep

We will pwn your ass in Halo (Uh-oh)

Be part of our world

In latex and bows

Cuz’ we girls play Cos

Set our phasers to stun

You’ll be falling in love

Ooooooh oh ooooooh

(Team Unicorn - Chorus)

Geek and Gamer girls

We’re unbelievable

We all know

That Han shot first

Anime

No dubs

We want originals

Ooooooh oh ooooooh

Geek and Gamer girls

We’re undefeatable

RPG

Achievement Unlocked

Browncoats represent! (Brown coats! Browncoats!)

We aim to misbehave

Oooooooh oh ooooooh

(Seth: Rap)

Farscape

Sailor Moon

Hogwarts boys all make them swoon

Aragorn, Legolas

These are the boys they love the best

I mean, they’re good to go

Love Scifi, yo’

Marvel

Vertigo (Ugh)

The girls are sweet

They can’t be beat

Super fine like Peach

Darth Maul

Standing tall

He’s so bad

So say we all

Epic Lootz

For the Win

Hyjal’s what we’re raidin’ in

Haxxors

Konami Code

Doctor Who

Expert Mode

Game genies, WoW fiendies, Sith meanies

No weenies

Don’t forget

They the queen-ies

Gamer ladies

(Yeah)

Raidin’ tonight babies?

(Uh huh)

I’m all up on y’as

Cuz you representin’ geeks & gamers

(Ohhh yeahh)

(Team Unicorn - Chours)

Geek and Gamer girls

We’re unbelievable

Comic books

And Manga in stock

Hasbro toys

So rare

We got the mail away

Ooooooh oh ooooooh

Geek and Gamer girls

We’re undefeatable

MMO

Achievement unlocked

Trekkers represent

(trekkers, trekkers)

Now put your phasers up

Oooooooh oh ooooooh

(Geek and gaaaaameeerrr, Geek and gaaaaamerrr, giiirrrllls)

Geek and gamer girls man

I wish they all could be geek and gamer girls

(Geek and gaaaaameeerrr, Geek and gaaaaamerrr, giiirrrllls)

Second verse, same as the first (aka JAYNE SMASH)

2010-08-05T19:08:00.004-04:00

The casting calls for the Runaway movie is out. Okay, a Runaways movie is AWESOME. I am really, ridiculously excited!

What's not awesome? Alex's ethnicity is specified. Nico's is not. In the comics she is explicitly stated to be Japanese-American, and yet the call is only for female actresses to play 16-18. Yeah, that's going to end well.

And then we have the fun description of a Japanese-American girl as "uniquely beautiful" to Karoline's (an alien who appears as a blond Caucasian) "conventionally beautiful." Guys, I do not have the time to unpack all the ways that's messed up, but it is certainly messed up.

Hey, remember how well that whole color blind casting thing worked out for Airbender? It wasn't like that led to the erasure of characters' ethnicities or undermined the world building of the show, or you know, reinforced the fucked up idea that white people get to play hero to the poor oppressed people of color. Turns out that Hollywood just loves its whitewashing fail so much it's going to do it again! Awesome.

If you excuse me, I have uncontrollable strangly hands to deal with.

Shameless plugging aka nerd squee-ing

2010-08-02T11:50:00.004-04:00

Something I often forget to talk about is independent developers and the personal role each gamer plays is what is developed by anyone. It is often believed by people that the government 'controls' what we play and see, but when you think about it, we the people have just as much or more control. Our shameless support or boycotting is just a pair of ways we shout out in protest. Women are an equal part of the gamer society (there are studies done, and by 'study', I am not implying that any one was done with statistical clarity in mind) and it seems that people forget that just because we don't show up on your x-box live chat window, we aren't there.
Hey! Hey! Listen! HEY! LISTEN!
We play PS games, DS games, all sorts of games were women aren't slandered over the mic or on the screen, games that don't involve rape or violence (and some that are notorious for it- looking at you God of War and GTA 1-whatever number we're at. You guys have a special place in my heart <3 ) and one of my personal favorites, computer games!
So today's post is about a really interesting independent team of developers that won my heart this weekend (because after a long day of putting the 'laughter' in slaughter, I like a nice romance game!)
Sakevisual! Everyone give these hard working guys a round of applause!
After being sucked in by the free material, I was convinced to play the demo to their newest release- Jesei. It's a story about a mysterious boy who is pulled into helping solve a murder case with the special abilities he has.
My love of computer games and murder mysteries was aflame with this quiet gem's charm. The style was clean and everyone was super suspicious. I'm happy to report that next paycheck might be going into funding the work these guys do.
Now I understand my bias opinion of the game is super....well, bias. Let's admit it, not everyone likes the same stuff as the next person and this game might come as a disappointment to someone else. Personally, I'm just happy to find a good game and great team to support, because I like to rock the vote as to what gets developed as much as the next trigger happy nerd is.

Until next time, Rawk on!
~Dancing Shadow

PS; On my search to find any serious data on female gamers, I found this little site. Read the statistic. Note that it was poorly put together based on a stereotype and isn't properly researched (ie, where are the women under 18 and the boys over 17? What are they accepting as a video game? What counts as instructional? Who were they asking and how were they contacted?)
Now read the comments. I hope you laugh a little. Best part for me? Where is says "Click here for info on new games designed for female players and how software companies are tackling this emerging market.", click the link. It says "page not found"
....
yeahhhhh. You tackle that new market guys.

It's time to fangirl like never before

2010-07-31T20:18:00.004-04:00

You guys, you guys, omg you guys! The video promo for a possible Blue Beetle tv show has hit the web!

JAAAAMIEEE!

So, okay, yes this looks to be very Saturday morning, but that actor playing Jaime is absolutely adorable and if this show gets made (please, please let this happen, Space Buddha and Zombie Jesus amen) it will feature a majority Hispanic cast, including the hero and his family and his friends, and multiple kickass female characters. Avatar: The Last Airbender already proved that a show with high diversity and heroes of color can absolutely succeed (unless you're M.Night Shamylan, and consider race to be "ambiguous" argh uncontrollable strangly hands).

I'm sure that the networks can fuck this up, they absolutely can, but still, can you imagine this in show on the air? It would be fucking amazing.

And I am really happy they picked Jaimie, especially if they're appealing to younger kids. Oh don't get me wrong, I love Dan Garrett and Dead Gay Ted, but Dan Garrett ran around being ridiculous and Dead Gay Ted's solo title consisted of endless exposition and horrible wardrobe choices.

Seriously:

Because when you wear black and yellow spats with teal pants and a matching tie, you absolutely must flip that collar up of your maroon Members Only jacket. You wouldn't want to look like a tool, now would you?

And for a younger audience, Jaimie makes sense. He's the current Beetle, and most kids know him already from Batman: The Brave and the Bold. If nothing else, it might get his title relaunched (YES PLEASE).

I really want this show to happen, and I will punch every baby in the face to make it so. Okay, that's a lie: I would not, in fact, punch every baby in the face; I would, however, bare knuckle fight Alan Moore, no lie, if that's what it took. C'mon, Alan Moore, what are you, a pansy?

If you don't hear from me again, it's safe to assume Alan Moore came for me. It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Oh god what is this I don't even

2010-07-13T18:03:00.008-04:00

Did you know there's a scene from the movie The Last Airbender floating around the Internets? Well, there is! Let's watch:

Setting aside the deeply problematic fact you have to get a white person to convince the poor, downtrodden people of color to stand up and fight their repressors and take pride in themselves again (so much uncontrollable stranlgy hands), this is truly godawful. The acting is eye-bleedingly terrible, the fight scene is like watching a poor man's Jets vs. Sharks dance off, Sokka looks stoned, and Katara just stands there, staring dumbly into space.

Hey, Castiel from Supernatural, you want to sum up my reaction for me?

Thanks, bb. That's it exactly.

Hey, anyone who has actually seen the movie, want to confirm how horrible it is? Leave me a comment! You know how I love to hate on horrible things!

Clearly, I'm incapable.

2010-07-07T19:53:00.002-04:00

Perhaps this post should have been named "My gender embarrasses me some days", but isn't a 'I hate the world' rant. I've found myself doing some things recently that have earned me compliments and insults which I would have never connected with gender, until it was pointed out through the statement.
Example: My father called me yesterday and thanked me for going out in the hot weather to tear down a metal shed, which needed to come down so they (parents) could sell the house. I was happy to do it, and although it was annoying and took quiet some effort, I did nearly the whole thing alone with occasional help from my father. Here was the compliment:

"You did great out there! I told the realtor how much you helped and he couldn't believe it either."
"What couldn't he believe? That I took it down?"
[Here's the part that tweaked my feminist nerve.]
"Well yeah. Not many girls help with outside work, and he was surprised you could take care of that thing by yourself!"

I understand the shed was metal, and a decent size. I understand that I'm a woman. What I don't understand is that if my brother did it, why would there would be less wonder and amazement. She can swing a hammer? Use a wrench? But can she cook! *har har har*

I get this type of response more often than I could tell you, but it gets hidden in different ways. Second example:
I entered Best Buy with my computer-limited father looking for a router to help repair their wireless unit that broke when a power surge happened. Walking in, I'm wary of the sales people because in the past one tried to push me to buy a pink I-pod, and when I declined, offered me other pink incentives. Side note; I don't like the color pink very much. What I like even less is that instead of offering other colors or trying to explain the advantages of mentioned product, he tried to sell me other products of the same pink color. Back to the story. As I walked over to the correct section with parent in tow (I'm not blind; I knew walking in what I was looking for) and began to browse the options, a sales man came up to assist us. "Sure," I thought, smiling, "nothing pink to sell me here, what can I loose?" I should also note here that the whole time the salesman tried to talk to my father first, while my dad each time looked over to me for a translation. I explained it to my father, he would talk back to me, and then I would respond with the same expertise to the salesman.
The guy was honest, but was caught completely off guard by this juggling act. Eventually he began asking questions while looking back and forth between the pair of us, and my dad had to assert that the person who would actually be doing the repairs was me. Unsure, the salesman asked me if I knew how to install the CDs, set up the network, if I was confused, or if I understood some of the terminology. I knew damn well what he was saying. This would be the second time I was setting up and repairing a wireless adapter, and this stuff was child's play. I didn't get annoyed, explained my experience with the system, and by the end of the conversation he seemed both unsure about me and relieved. Why? The man had no issues speaking to my father, who has no idea what's going on. The gender stereotype wouldn't hurt so bad if I didn't see the honesty in the assumptions. My sister would sooner accidentally break the newly purchased equipment than understand what she was supposed to do. But instead of seeing the relationship my father and I had, the salesman insisted on trying to communicate with dad.

Another direction is the type of comments everyone gets in one time or another in their life: sure you can (A), but that must mean you can't (B), when A is a break from a stereotype, and B is just another stereotype.

Last example before my grin cracks:
I broke up with my boyfriend about nine months ago. Outside of my close friends who watched this battle-royal happen, most first reactions were "I'm sorry to hear that! You must be sad." I wasn't really upset at that point anymore; by the time I'm shouting at you, you can assume my mind is made up. It annoyed me more that people assumed I was going to be unhappy single. Nope! I proceeded to work through a full semester of classes and achieve a 3.9 GPA for the term and master all of my exams. Some people thought I was burying myself in the work to avoid the pain, but I'm honestly just a really driven person who sees college as a huge stepping stone to getting ahead and getting the job I want. I was relieved to not have to take care of another person. This was no loss to me no matter what other people assumed a woman would/should feel without a man.

Back to the present; I've chosen to occasionally look into the dating pool (and realize how picky I have become) with no real drive for a lasting relationship. People get confused when I joke about sex (a woman with a sex drive? She must be a Nympho!) and how it would be nice under circumstances, but I still don't feel the need to have a boyfriend. This is met with mixed responses, but that's my point.

Hello world. I'm a single, funny, ambitious, geeky, honest, tough girl who can cook well and mow the lawn. I'm not seeking a male, but I imagine one day I might settle down with a partner in crime. I'm both alike and very different from the other girls who run this site. We are all individuals with intent and ability. Welcome to the future, where men can stay at home to care for the kids, and women write blogs to say "Stop talking down to me!" Here, in this place and time, we are capable of anything with or without the consent of the masses. If this post says nothing else, understand what I mean when I say we're going to change the world, one awkward interaction at a time. You should too.

Book Log (or how long until Jayne's attention span runs ou---oooh something shiny!)

2010-07-06T19:10:00.009-04:00

So I think about this time last year I said I was going to write more book reviews, wrote the four part post of the book that drove my liver to hate me, and then never posted another book review. Oh, self, why do you gotta be so cripplingly lazy? (Well, okay, I also was working on my thesis--SO MANY REVISIONS WHY--and not sleeping). Anyway, the point is that I really want to do some book reviews because books are awesome.

But knowing my attention span and the way my brain works (we all remember the Alan Moore stuff, right?), I thought it would be a better idea to do more of a book log with shorter reviews/comments than lengthy ones. Although, knowing me, some of the comments will get long and there are individual books I still want to do reviews for (like The Magicians and Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising series), but for now let's stick with this plan.

Love in the Time of Fridges by Tim Scott.

I'm going to be honest here, I read this book awhile ago and some of the details are fuzzy for reasons that will become clear as I ramble on. The books takes place in the near future, about fifty years or so from now in the city of New Seattle, which is obsessed with safety and has a zero tolerance policy on danger (The slogan is something about don't die for no reason what's the point, which is very anvilicious when the character of the hero's dead wife is introduced).

Our hero is Gabe, who returns to New Seattle after moping around after the death of his wife, Abigail. Gabe meets up/becomes obsessed with Nene, who reminds him of his dead wife, which is totes not creepy or anything, and the two are chased through New Seattle by the Health and Safety Department. There's some conspiracy and memory wipes (oh dear god, the memory wipes) and a bunch of talking fridges trying to escape over the border or something.

I picked this book up because I wanted a fun read. The first few pages were promising, having a quirky style, so I figured, hey why not?

The problem with the book is that the quirkyness and zaniness is very much manufactured and forced and doesn't let up and after awhile all the details run together into mush and you're left floundering and wondering why your brain is leaking out your ears. Gabe and Nene meet up, run away, get separated, meet up, get some memory wipes, run on, fall in love for reasons that don't make sense, and so on and so on. There's really no plot, just them doing stupid things for no reason other than for Scott to show off how zany he is.

Scott also has a very irritating habit of dropping Gabe into or overhearing these completely inane conversations. Scott tries to imitate Adams and Pratchett here, but he fails because the conversations aren't a) funny or b) make any goddamn sense. There's only so many times you can read bit characters saying inane and senseless things before you want to beat your head against the wall.

Love in the Time of the Fridges is exactly like eating an entire bag of marshmallows: you start out and everything is great, the marshmallows are sweet and fluffy and so delicious and this seems like a great way to spend an afternoon; then you get halfway through the bag and you're slowing down because, yeah, still delicious, but that's a lot of fluff you've just eaten and your teeth start to feel fuzzy, and you're starting to maybe get a stomachache but you can't stop now; and then you finish the bag and you feel ill and accomplished nothing and possibly given yourself diabeetus (I always hear this word in Wilford Brimmley's voice) and, in general, made a really bad decision.

So, like marshmallows, Love in the Time of Fridges should be read in small installments and you should probably keep the literary equivalent of broccoli next to you to clear out all that sugar.

Notes from No Man's Land by Eula Biss

This is a collection of Biss' essays, and I don't even care if essay isn't your thing you need to read this book right now. Bliss deals with hard, complicated themes such as race and fear and ties them together in ways that make you stop and go yes this. She's upfront that she doesn't have answers, but she offers questions. And the questions she raises are thoughtful and nuanced and really important.

Take the titular essay, "Notes from No Man's Land." Biss discusses fear, specifically those along racial lines. She talks about the still deep racial division in Chicago and the lines and boundaries we set up, heritage from our pioneer past. She brings in Laura Ingalls Wilder and gentrification and the fear of gangs and the neighborhoods of Chicago and ties them all together into a beautiful essay that's something much greater than all of its parts.

If nothing else, you have to read "Telephone Poles." It's the first essay in the book and it is hard and difficult and absolutely amazing. Biss starts by discussing the discovery of the telephone and then goes on with anecdotes about how the American people responded to the telephone poles (spoiler: Americans are crazy and irrational!) and then, suddenly, you learn about the role the poles played in lynching. It's like a punch to the gut.

This essay, in an understated, sparse way, brings attention to a shameful time in American history, when American citizens were murdered and terrorized and it was considered a good thing, a family event. And the essay does nothing to disguise this, just lays out, and at the end you feel raw and open and vulnerable and, oddly enough because Biss is the kind of writer that makes me realize I will never be that good, hopeful.

In conclusion, you need to read this book.

Helmet of Horror: The Myth of Theseus and the Minotaur by Victor Pelevin and trans. by Andrew Bromfield (translators need to get more love, because translation is hard, y'all)

For accuracy's sake, the book should be titled Helmet of Horror: The Myth of Theseus and the Minotaur (A Mindfuck). Because that's what it is: a mindfuck.

Helmet of Horror, like the title suggests, is an updated retelling of the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur. You know, the one with the maze and the magic string and Ariadne.

The entire novel takes place inside a chatroom. I know, I know, but stay with me. It's not a real chatroom, as there's no use of netspeak and no one uses misogynistic/racist/homophobic language and there's no spam or random pictures of girls making out; it's not the Internet at all.

You're introduced to eight characters (Ariadne, who starts the one and only thread, Monstradmus, Nutscracker, Organizm(-:, IsoldA, Romeo-y-Cohiba, UGLI 666, and Sartriks) only known by the screennames their unknown captors give them. Each of them woke up in a room with a screen and a keyboard and only had access to the one chatroom. The captors also correct all their misspellings and monitor the conversation, censoring all attempts by the characters to use their real names or give any information about themselves.

It's revealed that they're not actually trapped, as they can command their doors to open or close any time they want. Each characters has their own individual maze outside:some are like hedge mazes and others are just a room and one is a church.

Ariadne has dreams, which reveal things about Asterisk (possibly the Minotaur or possibly Theseus or maybe something else entirely, who knows) and his Helmet of Horror, which is made up of several parts (and each of those parts are complicated and, like, deep, man). The rest of the cast try to puzzle their way through the Helmet and who/what/where Thesesus and the Minotaur are. Monstradums becomes almost the default leader in the discussion, having more philosphical leanings than the others, especially Sartriks, who only pops up in the thread a few times and is perpetually hungover and ill.

The novel is deeply philosophical and I have to admit that I didn't get a lot of it. It probably didn't help that I read the book on the El, which does not lend to deep thinking when the guy sitting behind you smells like pepperoni and the woman across from you is eating goldfish crackers and surreptitiously drinking beer while wearing a beret (I love Chicago). And then you get to the end and your mind is blown. Only much classier than I made it sound.

I didn't get the entire book and not sure I understood all that went on, but I'm pretty sure I liked it. So in conclusion: mindfuck.

Whitechapel Gods by S.M. Peters

This is one of the books that I can never decide if I like or not. I will fully admit that I picked it up based almost solely on the cover (look, it's really pretty, okay? Don't you judge me). This came out when steampunk was really starting to, terrible pun totally intended, pick up steam. The book has all the marking of the steampunk aesthetic (Victorian setting, lots of cogs and gears, clockwork men, etc) while trying not to exactly be steampunk.

Yes, Whitechapel Gods is an alternate history, and it actually is Victorian England instead of Victorian England lite, and all the clockwork and the very important cogs and gears aren't man made but are the result of the titular gods of Whitechapel: Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock. In the book, clockwork and steam-powered engines and whatnot are considered to be Very Bad Things. Also, there's like vague mystical alchemical stuff going on for some reason, I don't know.

So basically Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock showed up one day (from space? Like they're aliens or something, I guess?) and since you can't really kill them, Whitechapel has been cut off, enclosed by an impassable wall to keep Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock from infecting the rest of England. The back cover describes the gods as "Mama Engine is the goddess of sentiment, a mother to her believer. Grandfather Clock represents logic and precision." So there's that.

You've got a bunch of humans trying to rebel and kick out Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock, who, while not evil, are just really inhuman and don't understand how us fleshy things work. The hero is Oliver, who, in the wake of a catastrophe which wipes out their little freedom fighter cell, takes over, and in whom Mama Engine takes an interest in. You have Bergen, a mysterious German who is out to try to kill both gods. Missy, the only woman who is there for, well, her motives are never entirely clear. There's Baron Hume, the human who first encountered Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock and attempted to turn himself into a machine and then, I guess, regrets his decision or something? Like he hates he that he worshipped the gods and started up a religion and helped them gain power and now decides to help out Oliver instead to kill them and regain his humanity? I'm not entirely sure.

And then there's John Scared. Oh lord, John Scared. He's pretty much portrayed as the Evil in the book, more so than the machines. He also metaphysically rapes Mama Engine. Seriously.

So basically the plot of the books starts off simple: they have a code or something to kill the gods. Whitechapel is patrolled by canaries, clockwork men that do the bidding of Baron Hume or the gods or whoever when it's convenient. Whitechapel is a really not nice place to live, and some people begin to turn into machines, like instead of breaking out in hives you break out in gears.

So the guy who has the code ends up falling to his death, but not really because his soul is now in a rat. I said there was vague mysticism at work. So Oliver and his gang (including Tommy, who is turning into a clockwork man and picks up the rat-with-a-human-soul) run around fighting the canaries and trying to figure out how to kill the gods. They're really ineffective at it, but get lucky a lot. Until, with the help of Mama Engine's baby (sort of? God, I don't know) and Baron Hume's clockwork men, they finally manage to kick out the gods and kill John Scared (who at that point is all metaphysically raping Mama Engine) and everyone gets to leave Whitechapel.

I know I'm making the book sound like a mess, and it sort of is, in a way, but it's a well written and interesting mess. There is a lot of questions unanswered, like who the hell is Baron Hume, what is really up with Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock, and, in general, how the hell does this world work?

This is Peters' first novel, and it shows. The world building could be a lot better in places and clearer, as could some of the characters motivations. Some sections require you to read at least twice, because a lot happens within a small space of time, and Peters prose sometimes is too dense to unpack it all.

On a technical level, the book is well written and a pleasure to read. But on a plot level, well, there's a lot of holes. I don't believe that an author should spell out every little thing for the reader, but Peters doesn't give us enough sign posts to completely follow, and the lack of detail and explanation for how Mama Engine and Grandfather Clock work and what they are is just maddening.

Not to mention Missy. Oh dear lord, Missy. So ferretbrain.com has a thing they call fantasy rape watch, which tracks how women characters are treated in sci-fi/fantasy. And Missy, unfortunately, falls into every category. She is the only woman (if you don't consider Mama Engine a woman, which, frankly I don't, since she's not even human and pretty metaphysical) in the entire novel and guess what she used to be. Guess. That's right, she was a whore! Of course she was.

But she didn't like being a whore! It was awful! She really has a heart of gold! That makes it okay!

I understand that in Whitechapel a lot of the woman worked as prostitutes, but Missy is not presented as a woman trying to survive, but as a victim. She is a character defined by her victimhood, which is, I'm afraid to say, pretty much par for the course for the majority of female characters in sci-fi/fantasy.

Missy does have some agency, and while she follows Oliver's orders, she does get to do her own thing and (spoiler!) is the one to ultimately take down Scared. But this is after she gets brainwashed and betrays Oliver. Of course.

While I appreciate that Missy isn't quite a damsel in distress, she's not presented as heroic as Oliver and is, of course, defined by the time she spent as a whore. Fail, Peters.

The thing about Whitechapel Gods is, even though I don't actually know if I like it or not, I have to admit it did keep my interest and was, if not great, an entertaining read. It's one of those books I recommend if you have an afternoon free and want something to take up some time. You could choose a lot worse than this book.

White Night (A Dresden Files book) by Jim Butcher

Oh, Jim Butcher. So we meet again.

I think we can all agree you don't read the Dresden books for their great insights into human nature. They are a fun, entertaining, and, above all, a mindless read. I turned to them when I had to take a break from doing research and reading theory, and needed something light and mindless to relax.

That said, there's no denying that the series has some race and gender issues. Oh lord, the gender issues. At some point I'm going to do a post titled Just because you're writing fantasy noir doesn't mean you can be a sexist asshole, and that means you, Jim Butcher and Simon R. Green. But that is not this post. Also, there is at least one part in every book where I have to put it down and walk away.

So the plot of White Night is that some supernatural enemy is running around killing women practitioners and Harry is hired to find out who it is. He runs into his old girlfriend Elaine, and for a while it looks like his half-brother Thomas, a White Court Vampire, may be the serial killer.
It pretty much follows the standard formula of all Dresden books: Harry gets hired for a case, the case gets really complicated, we're told for the elevenity bijillionth time that Harry is "chivalrous" and hates seeing women hurt and he's not a sexist asshole but a Nice Guy (which is a whole 'nother can of worms), Butcher continues to have a creepy obsession with sex and we're told a lot how long it's been since Harry last had sex, there's a bunch of magic fights, one of the women he was protecting dies (oh angst), more creepy sex powered shit (seriously, there's like a sort of weird Whore/Madonna complex going on with a lot of the female characters that's just icky), and there's a happy ending while alluding to a larger plot that Butcher is trying to use to tie all the books in together (and is failing at).

Again, these are mindless, fun reads, but there are a few problems with this book. Thankfully Butcher doesn't draw out the "Oh noes Harry's half-brother Thomas, THE ONLY FAMILY HARRY HAS LEFT IN THE WORLD, may be a killer even though Harry knows he's a sex vampire and there's really creepy consent issues that Butcher never addresses because of his weird sex obsession." It gets wrapped up pretty quickly and it isn't a major plot point, no matter what the back cover may want you to think, because, come on, we all know Thomas isn't going to be the bad guy even if he is unintentionally creepy (back to the consent issues, but again, not the point of this post).

The book clocks in at 450 pages, and honestly it could probably be 100 pages shorter. There are sections that need to be tightened up and the subpolots could be streamlined. Like many authors whose series is running long (Rowling is definitely guilty of this), each book seems to be longer than the last. The problem with this is that the pace tends to slow down and the book itself is bogged down by completely useless scenes and details and padding. The Dresden Files work best with a smaller page limit, which pushes Butcher to stick more to action than plot (and his plots are usually kind of ridiculous). Plus, with long running series you lose character development, since the character stays pretty constant so that readers can pick up a book in the middle of the series and not feel like they're missing out (I have a problem with that, but again, not the point of this post).

One of the good things about the series is Murphy, who is fucking awesome. Man, I wish the books focused just on her going around being all badass because, seriously, she is a BAMF. Also, I find her way more complex and interesting than Harry. Eliane is also a BAMF and I wish she would stick around, but it's probably best that she doesn't or we would be treated to more of Harry whining about how he hasn't gotten laid in four years, you guys, seriously, he is is sex deprived. I think Butcher wants us to feel bad for Harry while simulaneously applauding his self-control for not fucking his smoking eighteen-year-old apprentice because, you know, turning down teenage ass is totally a noble thing. SERIOUSLY, BUTCHER, KEEP YOUR ISSUES WITH SEX OUT OF THE BOOK THANKS.

The part in this book that made me put it down and walk away has to do with Elaine. So Eliane is under a psychic attack by a Skavis (which whammies a person into basically committing suicide--just go with it) and Harry has to snap her out of it. Once she's better, Elain fucking blasts the thing through a fucking wall and pounds it into the dirt, all while bleeding from her wrists and suffering major blood loss. Elaine is fucking badass. Sure, Harry and Thomas ultimately kill the Skavis, but they wouldn't have been able to do it without Elaine getting her BAMF on.

So what does Butcher say about Elaine's sheer badassery? Well, we're treated to her saying, "Every time I come to Chicago, I've got to get rescued. Embarrassing as hell." Okay, yes, she needed help, but that was far from being rescued, seeing as how she blasted the Skavis through a wall and then called lightening down on it.

And then, addressing her badassness, Elaine says, "Wouldn't have happened if you hadn't warned me. Thanks, Harry."

Again, yes, Harry helped, but Elain still fucking kicked ass, but Butcher doesn't let her own it. He has to remind us that Elaine wouldn't be alive without Harry fucking Dresden. The same thing happened with Murphy a couple of books back: she kicks ass, but we're told that it's because Harry warned/helped. Butcher has these kickass female characters, but they're not allowed to own their awesome (although it's gotten better with Murphy) the same way Dresden does. We're constantly told how powerful Dresden is, usually in comparison to other wizards, and we're shown how awesome Murphy and Elaine are, but Butcher puts in effort to show that, you know, Harry is still better.

Hey, Jim Butcher, it's totally okay to allow your female characters to kick ass. Their awesomeness doesn't threaten Harry's masculinity. Seriously, please addess your sketchy gender issues.

White Night is a like a bag of delicious, nutritionally empty potato chips: you read it for the magic and the action and not for its literary value.

And I think I'm going to leave it there for now. My next booklog (which I'll post sometime next we--ooooh Misha Collins!) will hopefully contain more thoughtful books.

More fail, or Jayne needed to adress this ages ago

2010-06-14T23:06:00.004-04:00

So me and Darcy agreed that the blog should probably be called The Laziest Girls You know, because Dancing Shadow is the only one among us who remembers to update occasionally.

This is more of a linkspam and not a full fledged post because other people have already talked about this more in depth and with much more nuance and insightful criticism than I could manage (since my reaction to this is to go into a rage blackout and pull out the uncontrollable strangly hands), but check out Racebending on the whitewashing of Avatar: The Last Airbender. (One of my favorite parts--in which "favorite" means "rage inducing"--is that Jason Rathebone, the actor portraying Sokka, says that to prepare for the role he just needs to get a "tan." Because, you know, the Inuit are just white people with a dark tan!)

I've talked a little about whitewashing here before, mainly in regards to the graphic novel adaption of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, in which the Black Friars, who in the book and the miniseries were black, magically became white.

Whitewashing is not just limited to Hollywood (although they are some of the worst offenders), but is popping up everywhere: books, comics, tv, pretty much in all of popular culture. This isn't, sadly, a new phenomenon, but at this point in time it's infuriating that Hollywood is convinced no one will see a movie without a white hero, because we all know us white poeple can't connect with a character unless they have the same skin color as us!

In the same vein, check out this for a time line of RaceFail '09.

For those of you who weren't around, this was the lj implosion involving science-fiction/fantasy book community and diversity that started up in January '09. While the initial conversation sort of...exploded, what came out of it, for the most part, was a lot of really needed discussion and criticism and analysis.

While maybe the initial controversy that kick started this discussion is past, the conversation is in no way dropped, nor should it be. If anything, the casting of The Last Airbender showed us that this activism regarding diversity and representations of people and characters of color and the whitewashing thereof is absolutely vital for our culture.

ETA: So I am made of fail. In the comments I said the Water Tribe was influenced by the Inuit and referenced "the indigenious population of Greenland." Darcy pointed out how that was confusing and I apologized for the inaccurarcies. To clarify, Greenland's population consits of nearly 90% of Inuit heritage. Therefore I was inaccurate in both my original comment and then the failed and also inaccuarate apology.

Free Comic Book Day gives me mixed feelings.

2010-05-10T09:52:00.005-04:00

I'm going to start this off by saying "I love comic books." I do, a lot, and for the most part I am happy as a clam to sift through and ignore or acknowledge just how sexist certain artists and writers are, all in the desire to find and read some damn good comics. This year, just like I try to do each year, I went forth to gather some of the newest (free) comic material in the desire to a) see what new shiny books catch my support and b) see what might be worthwhile to send to my brother overseas in the army. While I admit I took Fraggle Rock and Domo comics for the amusement, and because my brother would get a laugh out of them, I also took many from a variety of other styles.

This year looked great! I really am looking forward to the newest Storm Lion works, and Aspen is always very visually appealing. I am well aware the drawing of the female body seems to be magically off but I'm forgiving, and I honestly don't care that much unless the other nerds in the store call me 'fat' (no it's never happened before, I doubt it ever would, just saying that would be the only time in which I would even bat an eye). Then I would be more than elated to express to people the advantages of a well muscled body. More likely I'd just laugh, but what I am trying to say is there is nothing I can do to change the art, and I don't feel so insecure that I avoid my secret interest. So it's not every day the world of comics tosses me off guard.

My jaw fell, though, when I flipped a comic book over to see "Lady Gaga" staring me in the face. Her name is not in quotes because it is not her real name, hell, I know a girl named Winter Berry so I don't really care what you decide to call yourself. It was the title of the comic, and thus gets quotes. I looked at it for a moment and thought to myself "is this a prank?". I seemed to be having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. So, being the curious cat I am, I opened to the first page.
Nope, not a prank. What in all the Hells?
The story moves with a man who is watching TV and commenting on current music in general. He thinks it's really lacking. I hear you, little fake man, when you say some of the contemporary music is not up to your liking. I understand you think lyrics should be thoughtful and creative. But why do you complain so much? And why Lady Gaga? I know you won't get the full preview from the internet, but this is a short chunk of what was in the free comic.
I'm not sure how much I have to say on this. I'm not a huge fan of Gaga (nor do I hate her or her music), but this was my first drop into music cultural in a comic. The art style wasn't something I favor, but I really feel like it undersold the main characters for the sake of saying something. He goes on for another few pages about how music these days is pathetic, and he is annoyed by the younger kids in the music store that have never been introduced to the 'classics'. What to do expect? The children of this generation are notorious for being left unsupervised. When are they supposed to be 'educated' when no one has time for them anymore, and so many people blow them off just like you are doing now? I could go on all day about education issues inside and out of the classroom, but the point is that both of the introduced characters did nothing for me. Perhaps if I purchased the whole comic, I would understand better, but what I saw did not motivate me to make that choice. In short, this was one of the few comics this year that disappointed me.
Again, I am well aware that this is aimed at an audience that is clearly not me, but I think with some better writing, even I would have had the desire to look further than the freebie.

In some completely different news, apparently there is a lot of tension in Arizona over a film that relates to the issue of immigration (I'm being vague, I know). This isn't something I've had much time to look into, but I bumped into a funny Cinco De Mayo related video. You'll understand when you check it out.

That's all from me for now. Rawk on!

So, so much fail

2010-05-06T01:29:00.004-04:00

So if you ever want to see privilege at work, just hop on over here to John C. Wright's gender/trans/feminist fail. John C Wright is a multi-published Nebula finalist with Tor. Goodness, another white cis heterosexual male writer in a still largely patriarchal field showing off his goddamned privileged douchebaggery. Shocking.

His entire post pretty much sent me into a rage blackout, and there's so much fail here that to address it all I honestly would have to take this sentence by sentence, not to mention unpacking the goddamn comments, my favorite of which advocated encouraging the Walk of Shame to curb whorish behavior. Funnily enough, that' s only in regards to the women, and not, you know, the increasing raunchy, frat boy culture that teaches young men that they should aspire to fuck as many women as possible, and that their behavior is not only acceptable but lauded, because women are objects of desire and not actual people.

The first sentence of his post starts out with "I have long been of the opinion that the feminist movement seeks to raise the standard of womanhood by erasing differences between the sexes," and immediately out comes the strangly hands.

And no, Wright, you are wrong. You are wrong and willfully ignorant and you need to shut the hell up. Feminism doesn't seek to "erase the differences between the sexes." Feminism advocates the radical idea that women are people too. Feminism demands that women have the right to own property, vote, not be beholden to their husband, equal pay for equal work, and in general be treated like human beings.

What you want, Wright, is a return to some kind of idealized Victorian past, where woman were married off at their fathers wishes, and in general were treated like objects of desire. That is not modesty. That is being treated, at best, like second class citizens, and at worst, like chattel.

Of course, it gets even better: "The basic flaw is that feminists start by seeking equality, but finish by seeking androgyny. Girls are not taught to be feminine and modest; boys are not taught self-command and decency. When mixed, narcissistic cruelly selfish males will then simply exploit, as far as they can, the narcissistic but defenseless females. Equality starts as a perfectly reasonable demand for women's suffrage and the right to own property, but ends with the oddly unnatural equality of a naked jello wrestling cage match between a rapist and a nymph. Unless she is Xena Warrior Princess, Wonder Woman, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, her chances of emerging from the cage unscathed are dim."

Ah, yes, so we have women being "powerless" and it's up to the big, strong man to protect us. Also, Wright, no, it does not end in a fucking jello cage match. It ends with privileged assholes like yourself shutting up and actually LISTENING TO WOMEN. I know this is hard for you, being in possession of a penis and all, but feminists are trying to change the culture so we don't have gendered, privileged men like yourself telling us how we should dress, act, behave.

Feminism is about equality. It's about how I should be able to stand in a crowded elevator or train and not worry about being groped. It's about how I should expect basic respect because I am a person. It's about me getting paid equal to male employees for the work we both perform. It's about me being able to choose who and when I want to have sex. It's about how I should not be expected to be "shamed" into modesty because of the idea of women enjoying and wanting sex makes you clutch at your pearls. It's about you recognizing me as an individual with all the rights that you have. It is NOT about me fitting to some make believe fantasy about how real women should be modest, silent girls.

It also means what you say something like this "The equalization of men and women in the sexual sphere leads to more male hatred for women. I am confident that being slapped by a Playboy bunny or Hooters Gal is more humiliating than being slapped by a Vestal Virgina, Nun, or Schoolmarm." I can tell you to shut the hell up, you fucking privileged douchebag.

Because this is you slut shaming. This is you saying that a woman who works as Playboy bunny or at Hooters, two things our culture fetishes and idolizes, is beneath you. You say she, who you grope and leer and entertain masturbatory fantasies of, is not worth the respect you would afford a fellow male human being. How very enlightened of you.

The ONE thing I mostly agree with you on is your stance on date rape: "One of the most disturbing indicia of the modern return to barbarism is the phenomenon called ‘Date Rape.’ While some of my fellow conservatives dismiss this phenomena as a rhetorical pose of the feminist, I submit that the conservative who supports that dismissal brings shame on our noble mutual cause. If anything, we conservatives should be trumpeting the horrid statistics about Date Rape from the rooftops"

Yes to raising awareness. Yes to changing the way our culture views it and makes it possible. Yes to making sure this doesn't happen again.

Unfortunately, you can't resist being an asshole, can you, Wright? Because you immediately follow up with this: "An impromptu militia with torches and pitchforks should seize Hefner and Kinsey and all those in the camp of the sexual libertarians frogmarch them to the nearest lamp-post for a quick drumhead trial and a slow hanging. Or, if that is too dramatic for these soft and modern times, let us at least hang them in effigy and damn their ideas to hell...We were promised promiscuous harems, and all we got instead is a new and oddly puritanical form of anti-Puritanism."

No, Wright, you were never promised harems. What you were promised was sexual equality, where men and women could be free of this gendered, outdated bullshit about how they should view sex. It's because you wanted harems (only for the men, because we women are here to please you) we ended up with this horribly dichotomy of raunchy/puritanicalism that hurts everybody.

What we ended up with is your privileged ass telling me that women need to be modest. That we need chaperons. That boys will be boys, and women are the mystical gatekeepers of virginity.

What we have is more of the same inequality we've been struggling against for generations.

So congratulations, Wright. You are not the savior of women's rights. You're the problem.

Things that are Awesome: Star Wars Origami

2010-03-18T16:20:00.004-04:00

Amaze your friends! Look busy at work! They're even great (read:cheap) gift ideas!

That's right children. STAR WARS ORIGAMI is a real thing, that someone who is really cool and no doubt has lots of free time brought into our reality!

There are a couple of cool sites with free diagrams on them. I'll link them below. Enjoy!

StarWarsOrigami.com

Star Wars Origami @ Happy Magpie

Star Wars Dollar Bill Origami Article (with link to artist's Deviant Art page!)

Surf's Up....production is down...

2010-03-07T22:28:00.002-05:00

I need to get back to work (again), but once more I realized it's been a loooong time since I last posted. So here I am again, seeking to fill the time.

Speach impediment is a great way to write off Batman's voice in Dark Knight. Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie and all, but I agree. Some parts of it were....less clearly enunciated than others. Good clean fun...

The other amusing toy I have for now is this. That's all I have to say about it.

I'll be back with some actual point and purpose soon once school stops trying to convince me to jump off a cliff. Seriously, college is more about testing your determination than teaching you what you need to know some days.

Kotobukia...It's been said before, but I'm going to say it again. This place rocks!

2010-02-23T07:53:00.000-05:00

This post has been sent over from LadyLaraJonesAdventures.com
Lady Jones is also a writer for Geek Girls and wanted to share this post on both of her sites! Thanks for reading!

Just wanted to do a quick post about my recent trip to Kotobukia. It's a chain of stores that has all sorts of fare...but what I'm always excited to see is the floor or two (or more, so I hear, depending on where you go) of collectibles, figurines, plushies and other geeky fare. I mean, I was seriously blown away by this place. I've traveled around Akihabara a bit and I've been out to Nakano Broadway (where you can get a lot of older collectibles that were retired from the Akihabara area since they were either too old or not well-known enough to warrant shelf space there.) but this store is definitely among my must-see stores in Tokyo.

The first floor was so intense I had no idea where to go first! Right upon entering there was a whole row of Star Wars goods like new R2D2 and Darth Vader USB Hub devices and a whole set of glowing chopstick lightsabers (yeah, awesome, I really wanted some). To my right was an entire section devoted to Ghibli films. To my left was rows of Final Fantasy Figurines and Plushies. This is where I had purchased my cute Chocobo plushie (now named Merlin) a few weeks back and since I have taken every chance to stop into this store when I pass it.

I really like this Rogue Figure. By the way, her name in Japanese is "Rougu."

Photo Property of Kotobukia.

Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.

What I didn't know after my first trip was if you go to their website you can see EVERYTHING they stock and believe me it seems there is no end to the cool stuff they sell. From Marvel Collectible Figurines (some which say they are Kotobukia exclusives) to DC Collectible Figurines to Indiana Jones to Anime Figurines like this one from the series Air...I even saw some figurines from the movie Gremlins and some other neat and eccentric things like Mameshiba (Little Bean Dog) keychains and Alpaca Earphones/Ipod Case. Yeah, seriously, if you're in Tokyo for only a short while, you should get yourself to one of these stores! There is one in Akihabara pretty close to where you exit the train station. There is an English map in the train station at the information desk if you need one (usually a good idea as Akiba is confusing to first time visitors and you don't want to waste time getting lost!).

I couldn't believe they had these neat Gremlins Figures!

Photo Property of Kotobukia.

Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.

So yeah, if you haven't checked them out yet, give their site a look! It's pretty sweet!

Signing out for now,

Lady Jones

This is how bored I am

2010-02-20T20:57:00.003-05:00

In which Jayne dusts off her soapbox

2010-02-13T21:44:00.005-05:00

It's been awhile since I last posted here, so let's see if I remember how to do this.

Instead of doing any of the eight million things I should do today (grade undergrad responses, work on my thesis so the thought of it doesn't make me go in to the fetal position), I surfed the Internets because that's how my procrastinating ass rolls. In surfing I came across Why discriminate if it doesn't profit? It's an article addressing the question about why Hollywood and the television industry are dead set against making movies/shows for or by women.

The writer, Jennifer Kessler, takes a couple of detours in getting to the point (she discusses curly hair and salons in an analogy that doesn't quiet gel), but her answer boils down to ego:

"Even greed is fueled by the ego – it’s the ego that wants more than enough so it feels safe or better than its neighbors. It’s the ego that wants to feel important, unique, successful. Eliminating entire clumps of humanity from the 'race' your ego thinks it’s in is a quick way to get rid of competition."

This is, of course, a compelling theory (used in the non-scientific sense of the word), but one that doesn't cover it entirely. As the resident feminist of the blog, I feel obligated to point out that the movie and tv industries are still steeped in (and yes, I refuse to apologize for using this term) patriarchy. Executives, directors, writers, and so on are overwhelmingly men, and thus the mindset is that it is men who are the prime consumers of movies and television.

This is, of course, complete bullshit, but it's a powerful, ego feeding theory that allows these same executives and directors and writers to justify their often sexist offerings(oh god, just look at how actresses are objectified in comparison to actors). Why should they bother giving well-rounded, heroic and amazing female characters and women-centric storylines when "women don't watch movies/tv"?

Kessler then has this paragraph, that I really want to discuss:

"That laziness factors into TV and film because in the case of TV advertisers don’t seem to want to know that women are worth pitching products to because it would mean learning something new (look at the shortcuts they take when pressed: “make it pink, mention shoes”), like what types of ads women respond to. In the case of movies, it would mean… well, nothing. Honestly, you write women pretty much like you write men. But they think it would mean learning something new, and to be fair, for many of them it would mean learning to write credible voices belonging to a group of people they associate with little more than high school rejection, being told to clean up their room, divorce and child support checks. It would also, for many of them, mean noticing someone who has never before existed to their eyes: women who don’t fit the “hot chick” profile. Women who, like so many of our favorite male movie icons, are more fascinating than modelesque, who are sexy because they’re made of awesome, instead of just looking awesome."

YES. THIS.

And I think this reasoning, among other things, is the reason why comics, while making little, tiny, slow baby steps to acknowledging female readers, are still pretty much trapped in this GIRLS DON'T READ COMICS LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU mindset.

Girls read comics, especially when those comics feature strong female characters. Hell, when Stephanie Brown was the new Robin the sales of Batman increased. Manhunter was critically acclaimed and widely popular comic that features an kick-ass female protagonist. Ditto for Catwoman. Not to mention the long and successful run of Birds of Prey.

And yet every single one of those titles were cancelled. Yes, perhaps, the sales were low, but look at how much manpower was put behind the effort to market them compared to other titles; not a whole hell of a lot. And, yes, some of them, like Catwoman, suffered from having to include retarded storylines to tie in to the latest big event, but I think these titles and comics in general suffer from what Kessler said above.

Women in comics are "awesome to look at" and not just plain awesome. As an industry, comics has a hard time realizing that strong female characters doesn't just mean they have giant breasts and are sexy danger.

Look at Marvel's Lady Bullseye. She is awesome to look at. And the sad thing is that Marvel tried to make her strong, in that "strong" to them means "is motivated from past sexual assault and needed a man to inspire her and also happens to give tits and ass and is sexy, sexy danger."

Lady Bullseye is a strong female character as filtered through the male gaze, which means she is sexy danger and not a strong character at all. Sadly, comics are still firmly entrenched in the male gaze. Hell, even the attempts comics made to appeal to female readers are insulting and offensive.

And, since we're on the topic, both movies, television, and comics are finally recognizing LGBT characters, although the visibility on them still remains frustratingly low. Hell, how about getting some diversity up in comics? With DC's cancellation of Blue Beetle, comics are awfully white.

If Kessler is right that this is about the ego then it's time to set that aside, especially in this shitty economic times, and realize that women and LGBT and minorities are just as valuable consumers as white, straight men. Get your heads out of your asses and recognize it's not all about the dangly bits between your legs.

Syndicated Post: Taiko no Tatsujin and 3D Dot Game Heroes are Made of Win

2010-01-17T06:13:00.000-05:00

This post is syndicated from Lady Lara Jones Adventures. Lady Jones is also a writer here for Geek Girls and wanted to make this post on both of her blogs. Thanks for reading!

Many of you video game enthusiasts out there probably already know about Taiko Drum Master, known in Japan as Taiko no Tatsujin (Master of Taiko). Indeed, it is a fun series in the same genre as Guitar Freak, Drum Freak, the late Dance Dance Revolution (which I miss dearly and wish still existed in arcades around Tokyo) and other rhythmically driven arcade games. It's a pretty simple concept, really, but is super fun in the arcade and especially with another person. Basically you stand in front of this giant monster of an arcade machine with a big LCD screen above two giant Taiko drums.

Brian plays Taiko no Tatsujin.

And sure, the game has been around for quite a few years now, but I wanted to do a little post about it to show my support to the developers. This game isn't as complicated as Rock Band or Drum Freak, but it's really fun and can get rather difficult if you gear it up to the highest difficulty setting. There was a short-lived time in the US where you could get the game on PS2 (and I think the Wii has a version as well) so if you can pick up a copy at your local game store you get a sense of how fun it would be in the arcade. If you have an arcade near you that has this game then GO PLAY IT! Take a friend! It's worth your 100 JPY!

The next game I want to mention is something based on a game near and dear to my heart. 3D Dot Game Heroes is practically a rip of the NES Legend of Zelda (with some obvious changes to avoid copyright infringement) but you can't really argue with fun + works well + well designed = an awesome game. Seriously, there is no reason people shouldn't make new games using the classic top-down Zelda, dungeon crawling formula. It's fun, it works, and I know a lot of people who love it just like I do. We were told the game finally received a US release date so if you haven't picked up a PS3 yet this is just one more reason to get you motivated.

The summary (from Wikipedia) reads as follows: "The game's gameplay
(good job wikipedia writer, that's some good English you have there.....game's gameplay....ugh sorry)

- strongly resembles that of retro 8-bit games of the past, particularly that of The Legend of Zelda. Players move characters from screen to screen exploring dungeons, battling enemies, collecting items and solving puzzles reminiscent of the classic games of past. When the player's health bar is full, the player's sword will grow to tremendous sizes whenever swung. Swords in game can be customized and leveled up to increase its length, girth as well as magical power, other special items that can also be used include boomerangs, lanterns, candles and bows."

Okay, I would like to note here that it does not just strongly resemble The Legend of Zelda...it fricken takes like every other enemy and alters their appearance only slightly with 3D Modeling in order to not be sued. Again, I don't have a problem with this. I think it's neat to see what Legend of Zelda could have been with a 3D (yet still somehow 2D) top-down environment. Also, when they say your sword grows to tremendous sizes, they mean it pretty much extends across the screen to destroy everything standing in front of you. It's a good innovation on the "launching beam" that came when you had full hearts in the original Legend of Zelda.

The dungeons are cool, and admittedly we can't read enough Japanese to know where we're exactly supposed to go next (or what we're supposed to collect) but for the most part we've been winging it and still getting pretty far. When the English version comes out we'll be sure to pick it up because we're only borrowing the Japanese version from a friend for now.

To give you a better sense: here's an awesome preview video for 3D Dot Game Heroes:

Sooo cool! Everyone out in the US should get ready for this Instant Classic.
Lady Jones and Brian Jones

Something of a mixing pot?

2010-01-05T11:48:00.003-05:00

So it's been pretty quiet here, and since I haven't played anything new in the past month, I figured I'd just drop off some shiny toys...(besides the god of war 3 demo. I jizzed in my pants. If you don't get the joke, see this. As a side note, people seem to forget you can kill a joke by extreme overuse. Please jizz responsibly.)

So to start off; Something unreasonably cute. I mean, I bet everyone has seen this by now, but if not, you should. It's so cute, it hurts. Then again, I love kittens, so that might be the flaw in the machine... anywho, this is it.

Thing the second; we (and by 'we' I mean you as readers) should all know my now that I hate ('intensely dislike') the twilight series, so something that made me laugh is the "Hobo Reviews". Seriously. A hobo? Count me in!
Side note: I'd advise you don't start drinking anything when this begins. You might get it all over the screen.

Well....i guess that's all for now. Happy new year people!

He knows when you're sleeping

2009-12-24T17:54:00.003-05:00

But now at least you can see when he's coming to get you.

In Which Jayne Is Vindicated

2009-12-22T10:49:00.003-05:00

So I am currently sitting in O'Hare airport because my flight is delayed because it's snowing because Chicago lives to thwart me. That has nothing to do with my feelings of vindication. Comics, for once, does.

So for those of you that aren't Darcy, you do not understand my deep seated love for dead gay Ted, the second Blue Beetle. For clarification: Ted is dead (although now I think he's a zombified Black Lantern? God, I cannot keep up with the crazy that is DC) and when he was amongst the living he was totally in love with Booster. Seriously, they were super gay together, hence dead gay Ted (or possibly undead gay Ted now).

Even DC agrees with me on that gay thing:

Sweet, sweet vindication. Also, Milagro is totally a slasher.

Now, I sort of want a comic where Booster and dead gay Ted get married and have lots of shenanigans.

Don't you judge me.

It's December. How did that happen?

2009-12-10T20:50:00.006-05:00

No, seriously. I've been buried in work for the past month and I lift my head and it's two weeks to Christmas, I missed my friend's birthday, and Chicago is colder than Dante's Ninth Level of Hell. I am currently hunched over my space heater like Bob Crochet and his little piece of coal that Scrooge allows him per month. God, I wish I had some coal to burn.

While there are many things I should be posing about, like my new found obsession with Misha Collins (MIIIIISHA), I am brain dead from my critique and my crazy writing schedule to get my thesis jump started. Dear god, I have one semester of school left. Christ.

So, it's another bits and pieces post, I'm afraid.

Let's start with SCIENCE!

This site is pretty awesome. Slide the bar over for SCIENCE!

The World of Chemistry

If Chemistry class was really like this I would have a PhD by now.

Moving on from SCIENCE, this is beautiful, especially for all you Firefly fans out there. Would it be wrong to use my student loan money to buy it?

And since Chicago is approximately the temperature of the vacuum of space, make a snowflake.

As I mentioned above, it's two weeks to Christmas (everyone I know is getting super late presents), and as such we've all been inundated with Christmas songs for the past month and a half. Not to mention my classes are down in the Loop by Macy's. And their window displays and constant music. And the parents with small children that stop in the middle of the goddamn sidewalk to stare while I'm late for class and homicidally low on coffee, omg I will brick all of you in the face!

Ahem. My point being is that if you're like me the next time you hear "I'm Dreaming of White Christmas" you may very well snap and murder everyone in the face. That is why I have developed a UnChristmas playlist, to fulfill all your misanthropic needs!

Another Christmas Song--Stephen Colbert

And this is what Christmas songs are all about: the royalties. Oh, Stephen Colbert, you warm the cockles of my cynical, caustic heart. (Sorry, guys, have no download for this one)

Make it a part of your Holiday canon/Make it the heart of my retirement plannin'

Podsafe Christmas Songs--Jonathan Coulton

If you don't know who Jonathan Coulton is you then you cannot call yourself a geek. Do yourself a favor and go visit his site and download Skullcrusher Mountain right now. Go on, I'll wait. You back? Okay.

This is a take off the Alvin and the Chipmunks song, only a thousand times better and less migraine inducing.

Don't think us rude/We don't want to get sued/By the thugs from the RIAA

You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch

You all know this one; I have nothing to add here.

Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass--Arrogant Worms

In the words of Jayne (the one from Firefly) this is hi-larious!

Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass/Because you've always been a rotten little brat

Chiron Beta Prime--Jonathon Coulton

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime/Where we're working in a mine/For our robot overlords

Have Yourself a Bitter Little Christmas--David Ford
A song about breaking up with your girlfriend on Christmas.

The kids are making snowmen out of mud/It makes me think about us

Father Christmas--The Kinks

It's The Kinks. They are awesome

Father Christmas, give us some money/Don't mess around with those silly toys/ We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over

So what are your UnChristmas songs? Share in the comments.

ETA:

The Muppets are never not awesome.

And now I'm off to disappear into work for another week. I hope you all survive this holiday season, one way or another...

I know i have a sick sense of humor. I hope you do too.

2009-11-12T12:50:00.002-05:00

Ok this is going to be short because I'm in between classes, but i have to share it. This chaos started with a kid getting back from the dentist and acting goofy. From there it got worse. I'm only posting the original and the 2 others i liked best, but it's so worth it.
The original, "David After Dentist"
This one is Vader's skit, called "Chad After Dentist"
And the best/worst one, in my opinion:
"David After the Divorce"
I really think I'm going to hell. I feel bad that i laughed AT ALL on the last one, but oh well.
~Dancing Shadow

We still think we're hilarious

2009-11-09T00:54:00.007-05:00

So y'all know I read awful things, right? And that I willingly seek them out? Instead of doing the eight-nine things that need to be written this week, I found a little gem out there on the Internet. And by "gem," I do mean, "literary horror," although it is still more readable then Twilight: Off Rack Johnny Depp in Body Glitter.

And, of course, I had to share a particular passage with my Hetero Lifemate. You, dear readers, get to see the result (her comments in italics, mine in bold).

The passage (and I swear to god this is a real thing): "'Thank you,' I mouthed. I didn't know why I was thanking him. Maybe it was for killing the hobo. Maybe it was for making me feel the most alive I've ever felt in my life. Maybe it was because he made me feel important. Needed. Wanted. Desired."

HOBOCIDE

I, too, have always found the murder of a hobo to be romantic. I love how in the middle of all this sappy crap there's the casual mention of murder.

Yeah, do they mention why a hobo had to be murdered? Besides to arouse them apparently...

From what I gathered, the hobo was threatening him, so his werewolf boyfriend killed the hobo, I guess.

You KNOW. Not to sound like some HIPPY or anything but...I'm pretty sure that one look at his werewolf from would be all that was necessary to drive the hobo off.

I'm more worried that the poor idiot thinks that having his bf murder anyone that looks at him funny is proof of a healthy relationship.

While killing him [the hobo] is a permanent solution, and I'm sure some would say he provided a good service to society and all, I suppose when you're a werewolf you just kill and it's no big deal to you ever.

Lucky for him he's got an amoral sociopath for a boyfriend who finds murder to be an acceptable token of affection as a box of gas station chocolates.

Oooooh chocolates how delightful!

Hobo murder flavored chocolates!

That's an acquired taste, I think. It's got a musky aftertaste.

Musky, whiskey aftertaste.

With a hint of BO. Well, ok, more than a hint. More like a back handed pimp slap to the face.

With the subtle tang of syphilis.

And possibly lice. They're his friends! He has a name for every single one of them!

The lice will avenge him!

YEAH. WATCH OUT WEREWOLF. You goin' to be usin' that hind leg of yours a whole messa times. Hey, maybe it's not that he killed a hobo, but rather he's just gained a boyfriend AND a pet dog!

And in just a short amount of time we've improved this story and made it about a thousand times more plausible. And, no, before you ask, I have no idea what the actual plot was about beyond hobo killing and gay werewolves, but that should tell all you ever needed to know about it.

Jayne gets her snarky disapproval on about something on the Internet

2009-11-01T21:46:00.006-05:00

So. Cracked.com. I have such a love/hate with this site. They are snarky and fairly hilarious, and yet, let's be honest here, they are a bunch of frat boys. Yes, they have articles, like this one, that manage to grapple with social/political issues and still manage to be funny. But for everyone of those there are about thirty gay panic/homophobic jokes (because everyone knows that the gays want nothing more than some frat boy ass) and about elevenity million pictures of boobs. The entire editorial board is all male, which is, sadly enough, not abnormal at all, and, I am not trying to be a smart ass here, I honestly can't remember if I've ever read an article on the site written by a woman. There has to be one, right?

Look, I get it. Even though Cracked covers a huge array of topics, from Presidents to deadly insects and everything in between, it assumes that a majority of its readers are heterosexual men, who really fucking love boobs. Because boobs are awesome.

So, fine, okay, I accept there's going to be some casual sexism and homophobia going on, I got that, but this? That is just fucking lazy.

But it's funny, guys, because women fucking love shoes! And men don't! Seriously, we have statistics to prove it! Man, those crazy women and their shoes! So fucking wacky!

There's nothing new or groundbreaking or particularly funny about this. It's just another well worn stereotype being trotted out, complete with some objectification, because the author couldn't think of anything new and creative to write about. This is the equivalent of me getting on here and complaining about how men leave up the toilet seat and can't cook.

But, of course, it really is the comments that pull it altogether, like this gem: "If these articles that make fun of stereotypes make you mad, then just don't read them!!!!"

First of all, I am revoking this commenter's exclamation point privilege. You use one exclamation point and no more, you illiterate jackass.

Second of all, relying on stereotypes is not only lazy humor, but it also helps propagate racism and sexism; by ignoring these articles or remaining silent and not criticizing them is just another way to continue to promote a culture of prejudice and discrimination. Not to mention that it lets people think that lazy writing like this is acceptable.

Last Week was so Brutal

2009-11-01T11:03:00.002-05:00

I normally don't buy games hot off the press, so to speak. I'm one of those annoying people who put of buying a game until the price is much cheaper than its original release price, so I wound up surprising even myself when i went out and purchased Brutal Legend almost 2 weeks ago.
It was so worth it.

I never really considered myself a heavy metal fan, but after playing this game for a while, I can strongly say it's made of best metal I've ever heard. But that's the point i believe...
The official site
I really don't want to ruin anything for people, but this is worth the purchase if you ask me. Strongly seeped in humor and visual arts, this game is impressive to me as a nerd and a music lover.

On a totally different topic,
Why would anyone go so far as to make this into a sign??
That's just cruel.

I'm a Wer-Fangirl, the sound you hear is me squeeing at the Moon!

2009-10-31T13:48:00.007-04:00

Hello and Happy Halloween from all of us here at The Geekiest Girls You Know!

As a "grown-up" with no children or younger siblings to make use of as a "candy beard", I often find myself standing in the aisles around this time of year, staring at the heaps and heaps of purple, orange and black packaging that traditionally encases a delicious sugary death warrant for my teeth and waistline.

The struggle to give in to my inner six year-old is often a futile one...six year olds are mean...but this year I was a good "grown-up" and only had a couple of Reese's cups out of the ridiculous sixteen pound bag of treats that I bought to keep the little ankle-biting terrorists at bay. I AM SO GLAD I DID because Space Buddah decided to reward me....WITH THIS:

I like it too!
I wish they sold that man in Fun-Size...
~Darcy

I present, for your consideration: The Hunks of Comic-Con.

2009-10-29T10:40:00.002-04:00

Yes, we all knew this was bound to happen eventually.

That looks so much like Hugh Jackman! I am taken aback by this!

(Photo Credit: Cinematical 2009. Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.)

Golden State Comic Book Convention, founded and then named San Diego Comic Book Convention in 1970, used to only draw around 300 attendees a year. It was a niche group of people who liked to sit around and, go figure, read comics! "Originally showcasing comic books, science fiction/fantasy and film/television (as was evident by the three circled figures appearing in Comic-Con's original logo), and related popular arts, the convention has expanded over the years to include a larger range of pop culture elements, such as horror, anime, manga, animation, toys, collectible card games, video games, webcomics, and fantasy novels."(Wiki NP)

The newest Comic-Con logo.

Comic-con grew and grew until finally, this year, it turned into such a media marketing event that it had grown beyond anyone's expectations. Over 190,000 people crammed into the convention center this year (up from 125,000 in 2007 and showing a HUGE growth). If you're going to learn about what's coming up in the next year about anything media-related, and of course comic books, you should be keeping tabs on Comic-Con. It is home to the Will Eisner Comic Industry Awards (given for creative achievements in comic books) and the Comic-Con Inkpot Awards (given to professionals in comic book, comic strip, animation, science fiction, and related pop-culture fields). Early award winners of the Inkpot Award include (to nobody's surprise): Stan Lee (Genius of Marvel Comics), Jack Kirby (Marvel Co-Genius), Frank Capra (American Film Director), Bob Clampett (Loony Tunes Animator), Russell Manning (Comic Book Artist), Charles M Schulz (Peanuts creator), and Roy Thomas (Marvel writer/editor).
Now if youre like us here at the Geekiest Girls You Know, then you obviously are jumping up and down going, "Ooo me! Pick me! I want to go to Comic-Con!" Understandably so, because it sounds like nine million levels of awesome. Listen to any podcast, read some articles, or ask some attendees of this year's Comic-Con, and you might just change your mind before sinking all that money into plane tickets, hotel fees, and the convention pass (now hovering around $100 for a four-day, non-press, general admission pass). The Preview Night passes for 2010 are already completely sold out and general passes are expected to follow in the next couple of weeks.

This is just silly, but still kinda funny.

"But why?" you say. What fool in their right mind WOULDN'T want to go to Comic-Con. Well, I can actually tell you I've been hearing from multiple podcasts, critics, and writers that attending is not worth it if you don't have a press pass. This is due to mis-management of lines, overcrowding, and an overwhelming problem with scheduling. This year, Twilight fans caused such a clog-up of other panels that many people said they never even got to see one panel that they wanted to. Comic-con is so crowded, in fact, that the convention committee is searching for a more suitable place to hold the con. It's contract for San Diego runs out in 2012 meaning they could re-locate to a much bigger venue. So San Diego Comic Con may be no more after 2012. Rumor has it that they might even change the name because it's not just about comics anymore.

The guys at "Geek Show Podcast" said they waited in line hours upon hours to just get a toy they wanted or see a panel, and they didn't necessarily get either (and those folks, for the most part, had Press Passes!). I have been reading EVERYWHERE this year that the only reason to go to Comic-con now is if you are going to the lesser-known and lesser-traveled venues like the Comic Book Artists Alley or the Art Show. If you're going for this stuff, then party on! There are also myriads of parties held at geeky venues in the area after the festivities of the day are over, so if you feel like checking out a themed release party, this is also an option. I really agree with Geek Show on this one though, if you're going for movies, don't bother. You will wait in line nine or more agonizing hours to find that you have been duped and will see nothing. My friend K has press passes every year and she even said that she has never been silly enough to try to get into movie panels and trailers (and she probably could considering what major animation studio she works for).

Look at all those Indy's! (Photo courtesy of Google Images. Author unknown.)

So, getting to what this article is really about. Last night, I saw this photo album on Cinematical, "The Hunks of Comic-Con." I was actually on the site to read about the new Boondock Saints movie, because, as I am currently living in Maine, I will not be able to see it unless I drive all the way to Boston. On the right of the page, much like a "red carpet fashion album" was, "The Hunks of Comic-Con" and, "The Hottest of Comic-Con." My first reaction was, "Dear god, no. They have turned Comic-Con into every other red carpet stupidity fest."
But then I clicked on the album and I realized these were, for the most part, just pictures of good-looking fans who put a lot of time into some sweet costumes. I instantly turned my opinion. This, to me, marked the turning of an era. For the first time ever, a super mainstream website focused on Hollywood Pomp and Circumstance was showcasing some sweet Geeks with talent. Cosplayers, even!!! I spent the next hour of my evening gazing at these photos and thinking about how cool it was, how significant it was to geek culture around the world. In Japan, geek culture is already mainstream in many rights, but in the United States it is just breaching the surface of ultra-popular media and shifting into something it never would have been twenty years ago.

Yup. That is walking hotness right there.

(Photo Credit: Cinematical 2009. Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.)

We are possibly reaching Geek Mecca, and that scares and excites me more than you could ever know. And without further ado, some more "Hunks of Comic Con!" Thanks to Cinematical for making my day.

Another fantastic Wolverine and a great Sabertooth.

(Photo Credit: Cinematical 2009. Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.)

This one's for Darci.

Thank goodness this (Tim Burton version) Batman got rid of those stupid nipples.

(At least, I hope he did. It's hard to say in this picture.)

(Photo Credit: Cinematical 2009. Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.)

If this Scorpion shouted, "Get over here!" at me I would most likely comply.

(Photo Credit: Cinematical 2009. Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.)

I don't even like New Republic and this is just awesome. So well done that I have to give props.

(Photo Credit: Cinematical 2009. Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.)

Mmmm. Assassin's Creed.

Klingons are totally awesome and classic.

(Photo Credit: Cinematical 2009. Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.)

I think I speak for Brown Coats everywhere when I say, "OOO! Shiny, Captain!"

(Photo Credit: Cinematical 2009. Used for non-profit, informational purposes only.)

~ Lady Jones ~

Its mortal enemy...THE VATICAN

2009-10-27T22:45:00.004-04:00

The Dan Brown Plot Generator

An ancient labyrinth beneath the streets of Chicago.
A ruthless cult determined to protect it.
A race to uncover the Daughters of the American Revolution's darkest secret

The Last Rune

When world-famous Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is summoned to the Sears Tower to analyze a mysterious ancient script--drawn on a calling card next to the mangled body of the head docent--he discovers evidence of the unthinkable: the resurgence of the ancient cult of the Destifori, the secret branch of the Daughters of the American Revolution that has surfaced from the shadows to carry out is legendary vendetta against it's mortal enemy, the Vatican.

Langdon's worst fears are confirmed when a messenger from the Destifori appears at Lake Michigan to deliver a deadly ultimatum: Deposits $1 billion in the Daughters of the American Revolution's off-shore bank accounts or the exclusive clothier of the Swiss Guards will be bankrupted. Racing against the clock, Langdon joins forces with the ambidextrous and charming daughter of the murdered docent in a desperate bid to crack the code that will reveal the cult's secret plan.

Embarking on a frantic hunt, Langon and his companion will follow a 800-year-old trail through Chicago's most exalted monuments and venerable buildings, pursued by a hypoglycemic assassin the cult has sent to thwart them. What they discover threatens to expose a conspiracy that goes all the way back to Susan B. Anthony and the very founding of the Daughters of the American Revolution.

I am so going to write this for my Detective Fiction class. Seriously.

I am both excited and apphrensive about this

2009-10-24T20:36:00.005-04:00

So Routledge is starting an academic journal about graphic novels and comics. My inner lit nerd is torn between squeeing for this (and wistfully considering submitting a paper for it) and lapsing into a "hmm" state of mind.

Let's start with the squeeing, shall we? While I have spent a lot of time here making fun of comics--mainly in the guise of Alan Your Tears Are Like Wine To Me Moore and Aquaman I Live in a Cardboard Box Under the Sea)--I have championed graphic novels as literature in their own right. The most obvious examples of this would be Watchmen and basically anything Alan Moore has written and Neil Gaiman's Sandman.

As for the more monthly titles, while it would be hard to argue that some of them (coughTarotcough) construe literature, they are undeniably markers of popular culture, and you can certainly track social/political trends through them. Hell, just look at the evolution of Lois Lane's character, paying particular attention to her 1950s incarnation compared to her contemporary characterization.

The description of the journal as "covering all aspects of the graphic novel, comic strip and comic book, with the emphasis on comics in their cultural, institutional and creative contexts" makes me cautiously optimistic. Since comics have become so twined with American popular culture to the point where even non-comic readers recognize the shorthand used to portray certain personality types, like "man of steel, Wonder Woman" and so on, it's very important to examine comics in an academical and cultural context.

It has only been relatively recently that comics have been viewed in an academic light, since comics have historically been marked as "for children" and by "children" I mean boys. It has only been in the past twenty or so years that papers and books have been published (off the top of my head I think of Wonder Women: Feminisms and Superheroes by Lillian Robinson--if you are at interested in Wonder Woman and female superheroes you need to read this book like yesterday-- and Comic Book Nation by Bradford Wright). There has been studies on horror comics and the war comics of the 40s, but overall comics books have been dismissed as cheap genre escapism for boys (girls, as both Didio and Quesada are quick to assure you, don't read comics).

The journal also wants to include articles about comic book fandom and international comics. I'm happy that they are trying for a wider scope than just the US and maybe Britain. I, for one, would love to see if there's a comic book fandom/culture in, say, Iraq or South America or anywhere that's not predominately white and English speaking.

I really would like to read a journal that explores gender, race, sexual orientation, just among a few topics, in comics. I would love to read about Russian comic book fans, or writers and artists in Mexico creating their own superheroes, and god knows I would kill for a study of Internet based fandom and how much it's dominated by heterosexual Caucasian male fans, and the ramifications of that and the backlashes of criticisms posed by women and fans of color.

So there's the squee, and now we get to my "hmm" part of my reaction.

I'm going to be honest and say this part of my reaction is a bit harder to pin down, and some of you will probably disagree with my reasons, which in that case you need to debate me in the comments, because like I've said many, many times before I love a good argument.

First of all, I'm not entirely certain how successful this journal will be. I know that I'll be buying it, but others? Especially since a majority of average comic books fans aren't exactly inclined to do in depth analysis beyond debating who would win in a fight, Superman or Batman? This journal may very well put out one issue and then fold completely.

Second of all, I'm afraid that this journal, like in most areas of academia, the field will be dominated by, again, heterosexual white males, and that would probably, but not definitely, limit the topics explored (like gender and race and even sexual orientation).

Thirdly, how exactly to you tackle some of the monthly titles? It's one thing to write about Sandman or Watchmen, but what the hell do you do with, for example, Tarot (as godawful as it is) or Spiderman or Batman and his eight spin-off titles or the eight bajillion continuities in DC and Marvel? I'm not saying that no one could analyze this, but how do you handle that in a way that non-comic reading people will understand?

Fourthly, the fanboys. Oh god, the fanboys. Can you just imagine all the wank that will come out of this? Granted, most of them will probably never read the journal, but that's unlikely to stop them probably from complaining about how unfair everyone is to them and their comics and how, seriously, it's just not women objectified and there's, like, non-white heroes, dude.

Lastly, I'm afraid that in the end this will be less a serious studying of comics as culturally and literately important and more regulating comics to the ghettoized genre, which is still viewed as being for children and therefore has no literary or cultural value.

That all said, I am cautiously optimistic for this journal and will definitely be picking up the first volume. I am, first and foremost, a geek at heart.

These Alpacas are filled with Dooooooom!

2009-10-22T20:32:00.000-04:00

To get you in the mood for Halloween, here is a video with doom-filled alpacas. Enjoy!

"Doom Doom doom doom doom doom...
Doomy doomy doomy doomy!
Ooo! Wazzat!"

Lady Jones

Well, we think we're hilarious

2009-10-22T19:10:00.005-04:00

So how many of you out there have thought to yourself, "You know, self, I wonder what the geek girls do when they're not here making fun of Alan Moore or spending money they don't have on Star Wars Force trainers?"

Well, wonder no more, my friends! While I cannot speak for my lovely co-mods, I can assure you that my day is spent consuming roughly my body weight in sweet life sustaining coffee, resisting the urge to kill undergrads, and exchanging awesomely geeky texts with my hetero lifemate.

To further strip away the aura of mystery, I'll even let you in on one such exchange (hetero lifemate texts in bold, mine in italics):

Batman: the Bold and the Brave. Attempting to make Aquaman useful since the 2st Century.

There is nothing I do not love about you or this.

His [Aquaman's] beard speaks volumes: he hasn't had a job in months and he's living out of a whiskey bottle.

Instead of tossing him some change, Batman was all, "Fine. You can help me save the world. Just don't do that talking to your fish friends thing. It's weird and makes everyone uncomfortable."

In case you're wondering, yes, this exchange is representative of our normal, daily conversation. Also, yes, we clearly are awesome.

Think Geek is trying to steal my wallet again!

2009-10-22T16:11:00.003-04:00

Seriously people, Think Geek needs to consider how much awesome they have on their site. I only spent around an hour on there the other day and had amassed something like $5,000 in possible spending. Problem here being, I'm really poor, so I won't actually be buying 95% of what's on that list. As a geek girl I felt obligated to share some of the more awesome finds Think Geek had to offer.

1. Sushi Plush's and Sushi Pillows: sure, it seems like a pretty cheesy thing to market, but I think they're really cute and secretly want a whole set!

Sushi Plush's: Soooo Kawaiiiii!

Sushi Pillows are actually pretty big! I think that one on the right is

supposed to be a wasabi pillow as opposed to green poopy. lol.

2. Ninja Star Push Pins: Ummm...yeah! Who doesn't want these? You could arrange them in your office as though you are a total bad-ass that hung all your posters with ninja stars!

I'm sorry, you said you wanted that form copied RIGHT NOW?

Could I just have a few more minutes, I mean, I'm VERY BUSY hanging my posters

*shows boss ninja stars as he/she faints*

3. LED Jellyfish mood lamp: Not really geeky necessarily...just really cool to look at!

Sweeeeeet. The jellies are totally chillin.' (I heart Finding Nemo *cough* *cough*)

4. Mana potions: Super geeky. Super caffeinated.

Each tiny shot is loaded with 160mg of caffeine and tons of other energy boosters.
As much caffeine as two cans of Red Bull®
Provides 5-8 hours of smooth energy.
No crash you say? I call shenanigans sir.

"I need mana!" - Diablo II.

5. Grow Your Own 1 UP Mushroom: well, not really, but it looks cute! I especially like how the warning has to read, "DO NOT EAT!" because some idiot totally would try to even though it's plastic.

Awesome

6. The Star Was Force Trainer: Yeah. It's that f*cking awesome. Just read the description I pulled from the site...

Develop your powers of concentration, you will.

"The Force is all around us. It flows around and through us. It is between us and that tree and the rock, around our sunken X-Wing, going through our wallet, tickling our armpits, and flowing between our ears. You think we're joking, but the only way to guide the Force outside your body is to guide the Force inside your head. Yoda told us that once when we had stew over at his house. The stew was ok (if you like licking swamp creatures), but the advice was invaluable.

And now Yoda is ready (in electronic form) to help guide you through 15 levels of mind mastery. The Star Wars Force Trainer is a fantastic leap forward in technology. The headset actually measures your brainwaves - brainwaves you will learn how to control. Seriously, your brainwaves will lift the ball in the Star Wars Force Trainer device (well, technically air will, but the strength of your brainwaves will control the power of the air). This is a toy you will buy for your kid, and then take to your own room and never give back. Your geekling may cry, but you will master the Force. And that's all that matters. With Yoda and the Star Wars Force Trainer, fail you will not.
But Seriously ThinkGeek, How Does It Really Work?
It's quite simple. depending on the amount of Midichlorians you have in your cells, each of you possess differing abilities to control your brainwaves. Using dry sensor technology, the Force Trainer can determine the differences between the alpha, beta, gamma and delta waves present in your brain. You can control these different brain 'states' by using your ability to focus and to concentrate. A micro-chip inside the Force Trainer then uses an algorithm to figure out which brain state you are in and then decides how to raise or lower the ball based on that state. It's kind of like magic, except the kind from a Galaxy far far away."

Wow. I want one...so very very badly.

There you have it! A list of awesome geeky-ness that I totally cannot afford but definitely wish I could!

Happy geeking!

Lady Lara Jones

The internet tries to scare the crap out of you

2009-10-20T11:35:00.006-04:00

Halloween is coming up in a week and a half (holy crap, it's almost November! I just paid rent, I swear!), so I'm going to take this opportunity to post some links, because if I have to be scared, so do you.

The SCP Foundation Can be rather hit or miss, but I spend a lot of time here procrastinating (mainly when I have grading to do--nothing is as scary as undergrad papers). It's rather creepy, but it can be rather nifty, too, especially if you know your urban legends and fairy tales and can identify what the things are before they tell you. My favorites are the ones dealing with artifacts, because those are the ones that are really freaking creepy.

Creepypasta Very hit or miss. It's little bite-sized pieces of terror, and when it hits, oh god, it hits.

Candle Cove Related to Creepypasta, but something completely on its own. Also, creepy, because puppets, like clowns, are inherently fucking terrifying. Something a girl in one of my classes disagreed with, and was talking about how she makes puppets and paints them and I just sat there shuddering, because PUPPETS. Ech!
ETA: Oh god, someone made a video of it.

Ichor Falls Origin of Candle Cove (gah puppets!). Haven't really looked at it, but supposed to have creepy things there.

Bad, Scary Place Not so much creepy as it is just bizarre. Sort of feels like you're stuck in an acid trip for hours. Be prepared to get lost by clicking on things.

SFPA Halloween Reading Horror Poetry! Awesome!

Pesudopod and Wormwood Audio horror stories! Hello nightmares!

Sf_drama's latest OTT on creepy shit. I found a bunch of links through this. Well worth it to read through the comments and pick up on things that creep people out, like mirrors at night. My favorite comment is "Wyoming. No one has ever convinced me it isn't really a government conspiracy." I can believe that.

Pesdu-Realism

Ted's Caving Page This is definitely not real--was taken from a short story--but it still manages to be claustrophobic and creepy. Vaguely reminiscent of Lovecraft.
ETA: Original short story here

Indian Lake Project I am reading my way through that now. Definitely has that creepy "government conspiracy cover up" feel to it. Plus, there's something about old photographs that freak me out.

The Dionea House A story told through e-mail and chat logs. Have not started to read this, but heard it's really creepy. After you finish with that, go here (oh god, that "found you" makes me want to hide under the bed) and here and here and here

Vids

The girl or the weapon A Firefly, River-centric vid. First of all, Firefly is awesome, as is River. Second, fantastically made vid that is, like I keep saying in this post, creepy.

Also, scary clowns:

While this video is amazing, I have to go with OMG SCARY BLANK CLOWN MASK IS GOING TO EAT YOUR FACE. There is nothing not terrifying about clowns. Even worse, I watched this late last night before going to bed. I live in an old building, with creaking floors and whatnot. That meant every time the person who lives above me moves around and makes the floor creak in tortured ways, I was convinced the clown was coming to eat my face.

Since this post has a surplus of things designed to scare the crap out of you, wanna buy a ghost?

In conclusion, sweet, sweet dreams, everyone.

I can has my daily interwebs?

2009-10-14T12:43:00.001-04:00

If you're like us here at the Geekiest Girls You Know, then you probably have many blogs, web-comics, and web sites that you check up on daily or weekly. Personally, I've become addicted to RSS Feeds because it means all my fun stuff is conveniently delivered to me in a shiny email so I don't have to check the site for updates myself (If you haven't tried RSS then I highly recommend it). I decided that now might be a good time to talk about all the places on the web that I just can't live without, or at least would be sad if they suddenly vanished from the web. Can you imagine if all your favorite sites were suddenly gone? Think about it. Ten years ago they probably didn't even exist (or were fledgling versions of themselves). As a media anthropologist I could go all nerd-out, nerd-speak on you for at least the length of a term paper on this topic, but currently I just feel like sharing! So here are all my daily check-stuff-out sites around the web!

1. Youtube
Well, this seems pretty obvious, but if you haven't gotten really good at search filtering or finding recommended videos that rock then you are missing out on the world my friends. Just saying is all. I have around 30 subscriptions and have somehow found videos in other languages without searching in those languages and therefore unlocking a whole new world of youtube awesome.

2. Danny Choo's "Your Portal to Japan"
I've already talked about this blog so I'll be brief here. The Tokyo Stormtrooper and CEO of Mirai is really very good at what he does: post quality content on the interwebs for all to see/learn/and feel as though they are immersed in Japan. He is an expert on internet phenomenon as far as I'm concerned and groups like CNN realize this and interview him quite frequently.

If I see him this January when I move to Japan, I've decided I have to tell him how awesome he is...just in case he hasn't heard it a thousand times already. I'll be sure to be 1001...lol.

3. Facebook
This is officially a cop-out answer, but it has to be on here because I spend A LOT of time on that site. It's social networking, so I can't help it. It's a part of my job, my aspirations to spread Geek Girls FTW to others, my life really. You probably share a similar aspect of facebook in your own life.

4. LOL Catz: aka www.icanhascheezburger.com
Many of you know about the LOL Catz and their silly photograph antics. This website has fast turned into a social networking site to those who love their cats and want to post photos of them with funny text captions. This site can cheer me up when I'm in the worst of moods, because really, who can't smile at a silly cat who loves cheeseburgers? As a side note, there are some other sites linked to this that are really great, like Engrish Funny, which shows you uses of English that have gone somewhat, awry...(a warning: Engrish Funny sometimes contains mature content like swear words and jokes of a sexual nature...so by all means enjoy!).

The photo that started it all...

5. The Geek Show Podcast:
Although this podcast is located in Utah and I cannot attend their fun social gatherings, this is my number one podcast for all news geek-related. Seriously. I can not speak highly enough of these guys. They really are a quality show. My only complaint is they sometimes make bland jokes about girls that could be interpreted as though they think girls can't be geeks. But meh, they obviously don't really mean it and I just ignore it really. Podcast uploads are every Monday afternoon (when Zack, the Super Producer, gets to uploading them). Check out their fun T Shirts for sale which includes this hilarious one about Star Trek The Next Generation.

"Make it Mother F*ckin So!"...Awesome

6. LOTS of other random ones that are checked randomly....including:
ThinkGeek, New Egg, Kotaku, Gaijin Smash, Wikipedia, VG Cats, Penny Arcade, and I would still check Newgrounds if it wasn't a virus ridden ride to infection town for my computer....Seriously, dude who runs Newgrounds, you are dumb for letting that happen to your site.

So go out and enjoy your daily interwebs! You deserve it!!!
Lady Jones

Left 4 Dead plus Fallout 3 plus Twelve Monkeys = my dreams are crazyland.

2009-10-05T19:27:00.003-04:00

So here's how I know that I'm playing too many video games and am watching too many horror/zombie/thriller movies. The other night I had this super-vivid, realistic, and a little bit disturbing/crazy dream in which there was both a (Left 4 Dead) zombie apocalypse and (Fallout 3-Style) nuclear holocaust in the same series of events. Yeah. I know... This is probably where the line should be drawn. I should shut off the internet, dump all my movies into a basement, and unplug the PS3, but then I think to myself, "maybe I could just use these crazy dreams to write video games of my own someday?"

So here's what happened:
Where I think these references/influences came from are in Parenthesis.

(Fallout 3)

I was alone in the woods and suddenly came across a clearing with tons of people headed into a very large shelter (Fallout 3). For some reason I was in a panic and knew that I had to get to this shelter or I was quite doomed. In a frantic sprint I barely made it to the dank looking entrance that led below ground. Apparently, they were running out of space in this below-ground stronghold, and soon started rejecting people. Riot police stood in a line at the entrance and kept people out. Upset and confused, I started asking why we weren't letting them in. "We're out of room," I was told, and promptly pushed away from the opening and told to shut the hell up and sit down. Far off in my field of vision I suddenly see a large horde of zombies approaching (Left 4 Dead, running psychotic-style zombies) towards those left outside the shelter. As the large, metal doors closed, some desperate souls were caught in their mechanics and literally torn apart. (Oh, Jessie, no more Saw movies for you).

(Resident Evil 4: Maybe this is why my dreams are graphic?)

(Left 4 Dead: zombie horde)

The doors close and I turn to look upon some television monitors that are for some reason recording what is happening right outside the facility. I feel hot tears streaming from my eyes as the zombies approach the people who were left outside, and turn away just as the mob of zombies rips into those left to their doom. Merely seconds later, I hear an announcement that "deployment has begun," and look back up to the monitors to see a bright flash of light overtake the screen.

(Nuclear Light-wave Effect simulated photo: an awesome person's Flickr Account)

Then, there is nothing. The screens go dark, and all the lighting and electricity in the facility goes dead. Panic flies through the underground space. People scream and run into each other like a flock of confused birds in a cave. Some just collapse to their knees and cry. Personally, I am in shock and don't really know what to think. My dream goes fuzzy here for a bit, and I can't really remember the next series of events, but for some reason I end up waking up in a room with like fifty people. I believe my dream has decided it has been a few years at this point because I look older when I glance in a mirror (Fallout 3).

I haven't seen anyone I know throughout the duration of this dream up until now. A random smattering of my friends have collected together to form a group that decides to steal the radiation suits from the soldiers and use them to get the hell out of this nightmare and go above ground. Apparently we decide this is the best course of action because the facility is running out of food and people are saying that those in charge will let some people die off to let others survive (12 Monkeys). We have gathered information that only America is blanketed in serious fallout (Fallout 3), and that we can go south and somehow climb the "Wall of Mexico" to live somewhat normal lives where the zombies and fallout did not extend.

We succeed in taking a few radiation suits, and somehow succeed in escaping through a series of de-contamination chambers to get outside (12 Monkeys).

(12 Monkeys: radiation protection suit)

Outside is somewhat covered in nuclear winter, but the most shocking bit of imagery is that there are a crap load of frozen, super decaying zombies (or what used to be zombies) all over the place.

(12 Monkeys: nuclear winter)

I mean, there must have been one hell of an outbreak, which is probably what prompted the "let's launch some nukes" decision. We then spend what is only a few minutes in "dream time" walking to Mexico. On the way we kill a few zombies that have survived in pocket areas of a "sort-of-not-complete radiation blanket." Don't ask me where we got shotguns, but we have them. Yeah, dreams. Whatever.

(Resident Evil: He found that shotgun somewhere.)

We get to the "Wall of Mexico" and note that it is covered in turrets to keep people out (Doomsday). I find this a little ironic because now everyone wants so desperately to get over this wall into Mexico to survive when we built the wall to keep Mexican people from jumping the border to the U.S. in the first place. Yay irony. In my dream it does not escape me.

(Doomsday: in which there is a wall around Scotland to keep zombies in.)

After managing to take out the turrets using a sniper rifle (we somehow acquired this as well, I'm now thinking I've played too much Resident Evil now) we climb the wall. We then see some zombies run out from the woods and one of my friends loses his grip and falls into a snarling pile of them. He is torn to bits and I somehow manage to look away and continue climbing over the wall. We make it to the other side and suddenly fallout disappears (because obviously my dream doesn't understand that environmental impact would gradually decrease as we walked south rather than suddenly vanish as though it was never there).

We make it to South America, where we discover that the U.S. Government was behind the whole zombie apocalypse and subsequent nuking to cover their tracks. The general who gave the order had escaped to some remote corner of South America, and my dream ends with us setting out to kill him, because obviously, he sucks and is turbo evil.

(U.S. Government Testing of the Atomic Bomb: Operation Cue 1955)

So what have I gotten out of this dream? Is my subconscious slowly sinking into insanity? Nah. I think it's just the fault of media. Media is melting our fabulous brain bits into goo. MMM melty. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the kitchen and hang some garlic crosses above the sink to ward off vampires and load some silver bullets into my shotgun to stop werewolf attacks.

Signing out in terrifying awkwardness,
Lady Lara Jones

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My new theory is I just hate myself

2009-10-02T21:46:00.006-04:00

I was going to use this time to post a review of Terry Pratchett's The Nation, or talk about the animated adaption of Weird Sisters, or possibly get back to making fun of comics, but all that takes energy that I frankly do not have, what with grading some undergrad papers (I am going to staple Strunker and White to their foreheads I swear to god). Instead I am taking the time to do something like a public service announcement, which is not a selfless act in that I'm hoping that it will in the future help keep my eyes from bleeding.

So you all know that I read some truly horrifically bad books, right? Look, we've all picked up a book that was less than stellar quality and end up reading the entire thing out of morbid fascination, or in my case I read it for something to feel snarkily superior to. But, and this is a big but, I sometimes find myself actively seeking out horrible things to read of my own free will. There are days when I could either read a extremely tight paced story with beautiful language and fantastic dialogue and wonderful, insightful characterization or I could read something retarded about angel babies being hatched from eggs, and I am all over the egg hatched angels (I truly wish I was making the angel thing up, but I'm not. Don't ask. Seriously, don't.)

It's like being given a choice between the finest of Swiss chocolates made by a chocolatier that has spent his entire life working and training and preparing to make this one perfect batch of chocolates, one taste of which would make you weep in joy and gratitude that something like this could exist in the word, and a Twinkie and you choose the Twinkie. Worse still, this is not an either/an choice: you can have both the Twinkie and the transcendent chocolate, and yet you reply that, no, thanks, it looks good but the Twinkie filled you up and you feel no need to eat the chocolates.

That might have gotten away from me for a bit, but the point I was trying to make (before I made myself crave truffles) is that I have read some really awful things in my life and I feel it is my duty to offer advice to those young writers out there. And when I offer this advice you better take it because otherwise I may be forced to kill you. Just so you know.

1. For god's sake, keep your tenses consistent.

Seriously, if I have to read one more goddamn piece of fiction where the writer cannot keep the tenses straight for more than two sentence then I'm going to harness Alan Moore levels of bitter and blow something up.

Look, young and impressionable writers, most fiction is written in the past tense (commonly seen in words ending in -ed for those who are unsure), but you can also employ present if the fancy takes you, but don't switch between them. If you're having trouble keeping tenses straight find someone to look over your work and point out where you mix them up or I will find out where you sleep and come for you. Trust me when I say you do not want that.

2. There are point of views other than first

Try investing in some third omniscient or third limited. Please, I am begging you. If I have to read one more story with a whiny, self-indulgent narrator I'm going to snap and voluntarily search out plots involving magical angel babies being hatched from eggs. OH WAIT THAT'S ALREADY HAPPENED SEE WHAT YOU'VE DRIVEN ME TO.

In all seriousness, though, I understand that most new writers employ first because it seems the safer choice, but be aware of what you're trying to achieve in your narrative and what pov might suit it better, which leads me to:

3. Stick with one pov

This is mainly for those working in third person limited. I think there is some confusion between the difference between third person omniscient and third person limited. In third omniscient, the narrator knows everything that's going on, all the characters' thoughts, motivation, actions, ect. In third limited, the narrative is filtered through one specific character, meaning the reader has access to his/her motivation and thoughts, but not to other characters'.

A mistake a lot of young writers making, including me when I was but a wee lass, is that mid-scene you'll switch from third limited focused on character A to third limited focused on character B. Do not do that. It's true that some authors employ that switch, but they are considerably better at their craft than you. Many young writers make the switch clumsy and that throws the reader out of the narrative. If you're not sure if you switched povs then once again get a reader for your work for the love of Space Buddha.

4. It's okay to use the word "said"

It is. You can trust your Aunty Jayne on this. Yes, yes, I know what you've learned in school, that you don't want overuse the word and that you should employ synonyms. But here's the thing in fiction: said is one of those words that become invisible to the reader. They'll just gloss over it. What they won't gloss over is exclaims, demands, argues, and whatever else your thesauruses vomits up. Just stick with said.

5. The use of epithets

I can write an entire goddamn book on this, but in short, if the characters have names, which I'm assuming they do, use their goddamn names. If the reader knows them as John then there is no reason why you refer to him as "the blond" or "the surfer" or "the baker" or what-the-fuck-ever in the narrative when he has a fucking name.

Don't worry about being repetitive. Like the word said, character names become invisible pretty quickly and the reader won't suddenly stop and go, "You know what? I wish the writer would stop calling John by his name. I am so sick of reading it."

There are exceptions to this, like if you introduce character X and character A doesn't know his name and refers to him as "blond boy" or "thug one" or whatever. But as soon as the character has a name use it.

Sometimes in the text, it is okay to refer to a character by, for example, their profession. That will signify them pulling rank on another character or thatthey know what the hell they're doing. But only do that once or twice, not every other sentence. In short, USE THEIR GODDAMN NAME OR I WILL COME FOR YOU.

6. It's "come," not "cum."

Cum is not a word and you are not twelve. Grow up.

7. Cocks should never be weeping.

And no, I am not talking about the bird. Look, I am not about to step in and tell you if you should or should not use a sex scene in your story. What I am saying is that you damn well need to be aware of your language and description in sex scenes or you're going to end up with something that's not erotic but a giant messy ball of hilarious mess.

If you want your sex scene to be awkward then by all means make your narrative and descriptions as awkward as possible to get that across. But if you want your scene to be sexy and erotic then "his weeping cock" is not going to achieve that.

Yes, yes, I am aware that the phrase is referring to the pre-come and all that, but it just makes me think the penis is sad, and no penis should be sad when it's about to be laid. Also, you use "weeping cock" and I will make fun of you forever. Even more than the person with the magically hatching angel babies.

6. Be really aware of your descriptions

This is related to the above, in that you don't want your reader to suddenly start laughing during a dramatic scene because you whipped out a weeping cock.

For example, I was perfectly invested in one story until I came upon "his rock hard abs." Instead of responding with, "My, he is most definitely a ripped and sexy individual," I IMed my Hetero Lifemate this: "ROCK HARD ABS, HL. HE WAS HEWN FROM ROCK."

That led to this exchange:

HL: They made him from the finest granite.
Jayne: He has to be careful if he lays out on the sun, otherwise lizards come to soak up the heat from his granite abs.
HL: He is like geiko-nip.
Jayne: Though he does have to watch out for erosion, because god knows that in twenty, thirty years, his abs aren't going to be rock hard so much as mudslide.

So unless that's what you're aiming for, get someone to read your work over and point out anything that is ridiculous.

7. Learn what the word "literally" actually means.

You know what, let me help you with that. Literally is defined as: "adv. in the literal or strict sense; word for word; actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy; in effect; in substance; very nearly; virtually."

That means when you say something literally happens it actually happened just like you said. This is not a hard concept, people.

Let's look at some ways to use the word in the most inaccurate way possible:

"His eyes literally burned with an emotion."

Unless he is Superman or Cyclops then his eyes were not actually burning with an emotion. If his eyes were smoldering from an emotion (although god only knows which one it is, since the author doesn't specify. Possibly he is bored) then this story would have been far more exciting then it was.

"They literally devoured each other's mouths."

If that was what was actually happening then this is not a sexy kiss scene but cannibalism and drastically different then what the writer was going for. However, if the writer wanted to properly use literally here then just make the two characters zombies and you're good to go.

An example of the proper use of literally: "People who misuse the word 'literal' make me literally want to concuss them with a volume of the Oxford English Dictionary."

I am fully aware that this list will not cure me of my self-loathing quest to consume my body weight in the literary equivalent of Twinkies, but hopefully some of you young writers out there will take this advice and save me the effort of finding you and beating you to death with the OED. Because I will do it. As soon as I finish reading about the baby angel breaking forth from its shell. Aw, it's so fluffy like a little chick!

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And Now for Some Addictive PS3 Games! Woo Shiny!

2009-10-02T12:59:00.004-04:00

So, for all of you who have a Playstation 3, you need to acquire two games that will absorb you into their awesome. These games are Fat Princess and Katamari (damacy) Forever. If you don't have a Playstation 3, then I will also use this opportunity to ask you why you haven't gotten on the bandwagon yet. 360 has a 70% hardware failure rate, PS3 has blu-ray and a growing catalog of games, and their online network play is free vs. 360's $50 a year subscription fee. Yeah. soo....Halo isn't really worth all that crap, is it people? Anyways, moving on...

Fat Princess cannot seem to get enough acclaim on the web and in my podcasts, so I'm going to promote it yet again. In this game, you choose one of five classes and become a part of a team that is attempting to capture another team's princess from their castle and bring it back to you own. Although this seemingly simple, capture-the-flag concept could seem boring and repetitive, it is far from that in many ways. The classes each have their own responsibilities, from hack-and-slash to collecting steel and wood to upgrade your defenses and class abilities. The real kicker of this game, making it awesome and different from other capture-the-flag and castle-defense games, is that you can make your princess really difficult to pick up. By difficult to pick up, I mean that you can feed that bitch cake until she explodes from the seams of her dress and weighs a literal ton. Watch another team player try to pick her up and he'll walk about 2 inches an hour and sweat his face off trying to carry his obese monarch away from your dungeon. It's hilarious. It's epic. The achievements include, "Cake or Death," "Chubby Chaser," and "This is caketown!"
Trust me, you want to download that game. And while you're at it, go burninate, cursify, healy-mc-heal, and freeze enough people to get that damn achievement. It's taking me forever and I challenge all of you to beat me to it.

"Cake me please!!!" - the princess.

The other game you need to check out, especially if you love Katamari, is the new Katamari Forever. Katamari Damaci is a series of games where you take your sticky little katamari ball and roll things up around town. As you get bigger, you can roll up bigger stuff. It seems simple and boring, but again, it's not. It's really awesome and pretty soon you'll find yourself shouting things like, "What do you mean I can't pick up that school bus of children and the gigantic onigiri! That is so unfair! WTF!" or "Cowbear, I hope you burn in an explosively flamey fire."

~ And yes, the game sometimes looks like a giant acid trip, but it's really not a bad thing I promise. The ridiculousness and over-the-top silly in this game will have you laughing and playing for hours. ~

Katamari Forever is everything you love about classic katamari, plus four game play modes, a new jumping feature, and other neat additions that make it a must-play for all types of gamers. I could go on forever about how cool the graphics are, and how in depth the environments are and how the upgrades are cool, but seriously it would take forever, so just trust me on this one. MY ONLY COMPLAINT about this game is that the levels from We Heart Katamari that got brought into this game have the same annoying achievements/completion difficulty that they did in the last one, plus they got harder.....so yeah....if you spent forever on We Heart Katamari trying to roll up that damned CowBear then you will be a very, very sad person like I was when I realized I had to replicate that phenomenon again.

So yeah. Addictive. Lovely. Challenging. Mind-bending. Acid Trip? Yeah. These games are a crazy blend of awesome that will suck you deep in to their chasm of un-reality.
Sweetness.
Signing out for now,
Lady Lara Jones

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Wonder Whoa-man!

2009-09-29T18:43:00.000-04:00

Thank the Almighty and benevolent Space Buddah I finally (through entirely legal means, I swear!) mustered up the cash to buy the Wonder Woman movie on DVD. (Two -disc Special Edition! Yay!)

I've already expressed my mild rage that it's taken this long for Wondy to get her own feature so I won't reiterate it here. I was really excited to see this movie but now I'm not all together sure it was worth the wait. Don't get me wrong! I really liked this movie, but I'm hoping this is just the feelers being put out for interest in bringing her to a wider audience, be that through either the TV or motion picture medium. This was an entertaining movie but it could have been so much better. I think we can go a lot further with her story without perverting her image, making it a magical-girl anime knock off or turning her into the host of Princess Diana's Pandering

Comedy Hour for Basement Dwelling Mouth-Breathers.

This movie was produced for the expanding direct-to-DVD DC Animated movie line by the Bruce Timm production family over at Warner Bros. Everything that man's name is on says quality, so I was so excited to see his Wondy designs. The movie was written by GAIL SIMONE who's very name makes me flail with joy. She writes things that are awesome; Jayne and I argue weekly over who of us wants to bear her children more...despite the obvious hinderances.

Those, besides obvious members of the voice acting cast, are the only names attached to this project that I care about.

This review is in the play-by-play style and very spoilery. If you care, DO NOT read this post.

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dear homework...

2009-09-27T19:32:00.006-04:00

I'm taking a break from my weekend job, lesson plans, math homework, and chaotic living situation to bring you news-
I'm way too nerdy for my own good. I've been observing stores and ranking their value in the case of a zombie invasion/ end of world/ if i get bored enough to get 'accidentally locked in' to a store. It's getting weird. I also introduced myself to my students with several geeky remarks, including "Evee is my favorite Pokemon." I think they like me.
But I'm really not dead, just stuck between procrastinating and having a LOT of deadlines ALL THE TIME.
But I found time to buy Prof. Layton and get the game going. As a college kid who's in her senior year for education (hence all the little kid's work pages I'm grading) I find it funny to be playing as a Professor in a game.

The game is a very nice follow up to the original, I think.

The first game was hard enough to appreciate and yet not so tough to get me frustrated and give up. This one is the same- some puzzles are easy for me to figure out without help, sometimes I draw it out on the memo page, and sometimes i have to really think about it. That makes me happy, as an intense puzzle lover. I like that the plot is different and the connections between old game and new are present, and you sometimes get enough hints to work out small pieces of the plot as they are happening without giving away anything too much. The overall feeling is smooth and neatly put together, but i expect that from these games by now. If you want action and gun fights, look somewhere else. I hear Duke Nukem is making a serious comeback. Or Wolfenstien. Though the older version of Wolf will always have a place in my heart, Prof. Layton is a very solid and entertaining adventure/puzzle/mystery game that is suitable for many ages and worth the cost of the game. I would definitely recommend it to others, so thumbs up boys! Keep up the good....investigating...yeah.

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Don't Worry, The Geek Girls Have Not Abandoned You!!!!!

2009-09-22T16:13:00.003-04:00

In case you are wondering, the Geek Girls have not abandoned you. We have all been really busy and we're sorry there aren't many posts right now. It stinks that we've been so busy, because there's been a lot going on in the geek world right now! Marvel and Disney are one, and there are a whole bunch of fun fan fictions being drawn and written all over the interwebs right now (including a fantastic one with creepy disney princesses...you should look it up. It's awesome). A new Ninja movie is coming out that doesn't look silly, spoofy, or sucky! SERIOUSLY! Dr. Horrible on the Emmy Awards, Katamari Forever eating what little free time I have left away from me on the Playstation 3, really, there is a lot I've wanted to write about these past few weeks. (and I know Darci and Jayne have more fun stuff that I haven't even mentioned.)

And on top of all this, I'm moving to Japan to get another college degree, which means soon you will see shiny posts direct from Tokyo about fun geeky things across the Pacific. Yay!

So please pardon our absence. We are working on some posts and will be back soon.

Lady Jones

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I'm not really here

2009-09-14T18:45:00.006-04:00

If anyone asks, I am totally revising this draft and doing reading for class. Totally.

But if I was here, I would mention that this is relevant to your interests--well, I'm assuming it is, and since you are reading a blog written by geeky girls then I'm probably right.

I went and saw the original broadcast and, seriously, it was entirely awesome. I was buzzed and the theater was packed with MST3K fans and Jonathon Coulton is there being awesome, as is his wont, and, come on, it's them making fun of Ed Wood. What's not to love? Absolutely nothing unless you are dead inside or Alan Moore (these two states are actually synonymous).

Also, you end up getting a lot of free goodie downloads, including a song about plans 1-8, which if you mosey along over here you can download it. Because I love you guys.

If it's playing in your area you need to go, or Alan Moore will come for you.

(Disclaimer: Alan Moore is going to come for you anyway, so you might as well make sure it's for something you deserve.)

Oh No...What have I done?!??!

2009-08-29T12:26:00.007-04:00

Readers, I have made a horrific, terrible mistake. I have succumbed to an anime I swore I would never watch - something that I use to view with horror and disgust and make fun of those who watched it.

Flashback to two years ago: Anime Boston. Darci and I were attending and noticed a whole bunch of girls and boys dressed in these silly, Renaissance and German hybrid influenced School Uniforms for some anime called, "Ouran High School Host Club." Then we saw a bunch of AMV's devoted to Yaoi (read as girls that like to watch homosexual tenancies between boys because they think it's sexy) influenced aspects of this show. Ugh, we said to ourselves, that just looks stupid and for the 16 year old crazy Otakus (super fan girls) that want to rape young boys. Gross.

Fast forward to last month. Darci and I were running low on the Netflix list and said to ourselves, "Hey, what haven't we watched in the anime section yet?" Our eyes scrolled over Ouran High School Host Club and we thought to ourselves, "Well, out of morbid curiosity we could check it out."

Oh, my, what were we thinking? Not only is this anime actually GOOD, but it sucks you in like Japanese crack that will never, ever let you quit. The story is amazing, well written, and the golden gem of this anime is that it makes fun of Otaku's while writing a ridiculous otaku-driven plot, while at the same time pulling in the comical influences of Japanese dating sim video games, Shojou cheese, and any teenage drama film or novel EVER. I especially enjoy the show's ability to poke fun at yaoi fans (and shojou otaku girls in general), which makes me lol, a lot.

Now, for the plot. I'm going to admit to you right off that I normally am not a watcher of a lot of Shojou (girly anime usually containing a romance driven plot and/or a lot of drama). I do enjoy the occasional cheese fest with a romance backdrop, like that featured in Fushigi Yuugi and the ever classic Sailor Moon, but there are only so many flower covered, glitter driven panels that I can take before I want to barf. But this anime does all of these things: roses fluttering about ridiculously, people with shining eyes dripping with tears, the color PINK thrown about like it's always in season, and RIDICULOUS high school drama and romance, and yet I want to just inject myself with this anime like it's a delicious otaku drug because the plot and making fun of itself makes it not only bearable, but enjoyable.

The story opens with Haruhi, an Honor Student who is stated as obviously only being accepted into the super elite Ouran Academy for her grades and to fulfill a quota. All the other students are so absorbed in opulence, decadence, and being rich that it is obscene. They make the royal families of European countries look destitute. The show, like many European influenced anime, takes all the beautiful and ideal aspects of historic elite culture in Western Europe and makes it terrifically Japanese. Read as: instead of a banquet with escargot, you have fancy tuna.

The one major difference from mainstream Japanese cultural influences is that these students are not obsessed with their grades at all, because they are rich, and you never seem them in class, pretty much ever. Haruhi is the only one ever seen studying because she has to put forth effort to maintain her scholarship. The other students, as the show frequently reminds us, are there to have fun and go to social events that the elite generate with obsessive style and flair. The majority of these events, of course, are hosted by what has driven the title of the show, "The Ouran High School Host Club."

You may say to yourself, WTF Mate? What is a High School Host Club? Aren't hosts in most cultural circled whores and therefore they have no place in a high school environment? Well, yes and no. They are really more like Westernized Japanese Male Geisha. Yeah, I know that seems complicated, so allow me to explain. First off, they are geisha in the sense of "a person of the arts" (so please do not misinterpret the definition of geisha). Now, this host club walks a very thin line. They have a clientele of beautiful, rich women who come to the club to be essentially flirted with and served tea and go to fancy parties or theme dinners. (Cultural note: in Japan there are actually many male host clubs where this is becoming an escape for single women. Some women drop thousands of yen on these places, and if you don't believe me look here)

The boys in this show range from 1st to 3rd years, meaning by Japanese scholastic standards they are about 14 to 17 years in age. There are 6 of them, and each has their own "moe" (meaning sexual appeal or fetish archetype). The six archetypes featured in this are: the wild type (the bad boy but not really bad), the boy lolita (obsessively pretty and cute and drives every girl in the room to say "Awww", borderline incestuous twins (boy love or yaoi which makes a small niche of girls go crazy), the lonesome prince/king (leader of the group and the one who demands he be the center of attention and have the most clients as well), and the cool guy (the vice president who is the CEO of this crazy establishment and as Darci has told me is most definitely her "moe").

To save time I have copy/pasted the character definitions from wikipedia because they are very accurate and I have more to write about:
Haruhi Fujioka
Haruhi is the androgynous heroine of the story and the Natural type. She comes from a lower-class family, but is very intelligent, so she is a scholarship student at Ouran. Her mother died when she was five years old and so her cross-dressing father raises her on his own. She is a seemingly apathetic and reluctant heroine who has no interest in pretty and flashy things, sweet food, or frivolous males. The members of the Host Club all have a sort of weakness for her and either openly or secretly adore her. Haruhi appears as if she doesn't care about the host club member's feelings; however, she actually studies each and every one of them individually and cares for them all very much. She eventually discovers that her feelings for Tamaki have grown into love.

Tamaki Suoh
The president of the Host club and the Prince type. He is extremely passionate and kind, always ready to help people, and has an interest in many things. He is considered the most attractive of the hosts, as he is the prince "type" and the president of the club. He is also very intelligent (2nd in his class behind Kyoya), and a gifted piano player. He is very sincere in what he says, and takes his role to please girls very seriously, which stems from his deep love of his mother. However, the other club members recognize him as an idiot most of the time because he is very dense about his own situations (though perceptive about others), very silly and melodramatic at times, and somewhat selfish and narcissistic. He also has an odd obsession for the "commoner's lifestyle" and loves ramen and instant coffee (considered "commoner food"). He considers the Host Club to be a family and named himself father and Kyoya as the mother. His father is the superintendent of Ouran High School and his family is one of the wealthiest families in Japan. His mother was forced to leave him so he would hopefully one day be recognized as the heir of the Suoh family by his grandmother, who does not like him. Tamaki is half-French and half-Japanese and considered to be very beautiful. He later discovers he possesses feelings for Haruhi, yet, he believes this love to be fatherly love and not romantic. Later, in chapter 64 of the manga, he comes to realize that he is indeed in love with Haruhi, not as a 'father' but as a man. This is revealed in chapter 67.

Kyoya Ootori
The vice president of the Host club and the Cool type. He is often called "Mother" by Tamaki and "Shadow King" by the rest of the club. He is behind most of the Host Club schemes and the other club members tend to go along with whatever Kyoya says, sometimes even favoring his leadership over Tamaki's. Despite their opposite personalities, Kyoya and Tamaki have been best friends since their last year of middle school, when Tamaki transferred to Ouran. He is a third son and has spent his whole life honoring his family name and yielding his true abilities so as to not overshadow his brothers; however, it is clear that Kyoya has more ambition, drive, and talent than both of them. Throughout the series Kyoya refers to the fact that as he is a third son he won't inherit his father business, although he has slowly started to come out of that mindset after his becoming friends with Tamaki. He believes life is a game and will lose out if he doesn't have 'fun'. He also manages most of the finances with the club and has a habit of not revealing important information to the other hosts until the problem at hand is already over.

Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin
Identical twins who used to reject others and are the Little Devil types. Only recently after they joined the Host Club did they start to open up and allow other people into their world. They are the same age as Haruhi and are in her class, and so have a special bond with her; Haruhi was the first and only person who is able to tell the twins apart, something that both had secretly longed for. They enjoy playing "games" and tricks on classmates, especially Tamaki. Kaoru is nicer, more sensitive, soft spoken and more mature than Hikaru. Hikaru, on the other hand, is very immature and somewhat mean but has a shy and sweet side, the mean part of him is mostly because he has trouble expressing his feelings. Kaoru tends to have a more high pitched voice compared to Hikaru, who has a lower voice, which makes it easier to distinguish which twin is which. Episode four comically insinuates that Hikaru is the "seme" of their relationship when the twins are concerned over the script of a Host Club movie in which they play basketball players which seems to reverse the roles. The twins later on discover that they too harbor feelings for Haruhi. Kaoru doesn't love Haruhi enough to want her only for himself (because he values his relationship with his brother more), so he ends up letting Hikaru be the twin who loves her romantically. After this development, the twins begin to attempt embracing their differences.

Mitsukuni Haninotsuka
Also known as "Honey" and the Boy-Lolita type. He looks like an elementary school child rather than the 17-year-old third-year student he actually is. Honey is obsessed with sweets and anything cute, much like his youthful appearance would dictate. Honey is loved by the other characters for his cuteness and has a nickname for everyone (such as Haru-chan for Haruhi). Honey carries a plush bunny (called "Usa-chan") around with him. Despite his childish looks, he is deceptively strong and highly skilled in martial arts. He is usually found with Mori, his cousin by marriage. Honey comes from a family that owns a nationally-renowned dojo and are known for their martial arts abilities. In one episode it was said if his full combat abilities were unleashed, he would be considered a threat to national security. Though it appears to be a façade, his cute side and serious side are both very real. After Tamaki explains to him that being himself is "true strength," he resolves never to change.

Takashi Morinotsuka
Also known as "Mori" and is the strong but silent type. He is the tall, stoic character. Mori dedicates his life to Honey by protecting him and only gets angry when Honey is injured or harmed. However, he is also very close with the other club members and many classmates look up to him because of his quiet but gentle nature. He usually only speaks when he deems it necessary, and responds to questions mostly with monosyllabic answers. Mori's family has served Honey's family for years, until a marriage two generations ago made them cousins. Even though the servant-master bond was technically broken, Mori still serves faithfully as Honey's guardian and best friend.

(Haruhi trying to flirt with clients.)

So how does Haruhi end up in this crazy circus? Our protagonist is searching for a quiet place to study when she stumbles into the host club, who think she is a boy. While scaring her and confusing her simultaneously with their ridiculous personalities and unusual habits, she stumbles into an 8,000,000 Yen Vase and breaks it. This puts her into the debt of the host club and thus she has to work off the debt by becoming a host (after they realize under her crummy clothes and hair cut that she is actually quite beautiful in a gender-bending way). Soon into the first episode, they discover she is actually a girl but decide to help keep that a secret so she can continue to be a host (and so that the king, Tamaki-kun can hit on her as much as possible because he is obviously falling for her).

The show spirals into a series of dramatic plot lines and exaggerated character stories that would suck in just about anyone. We even know guys who like this show and admit that it is addictive! Sexual tension and sexuality-driven jokes are frequent, and one of my favorites so far involved the pitcher/catcher metaphor IN AN INNOCENT JOKE which is just ridiculous. Tamaki-kun's constant attempts at making Haruhi love her are poor and funny at the same time. The characters break the fourth wall and the art, character design, and animation are super pretty. Just take my word for it, get past your shame and rent this anime. If you are a guy, just netflix it and no one will ever know. Just do it people! I'm serious! (Darci says if she buys this anime as a box set she is almost positive it will be a little bit sticky...ahahaha awesome)

Alright, I've ranted enough. Get out there and enjoy some cheese, people. Cheese is good for you!

Your 23 Year Old Secret Otaku
Lady Lara Jones

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Why I should never be left alone with the internets

2009-08-26T19:05:00.011-04:00

So at this point in our blogging relationship, I hope most of you realize that not only am I a hateful, bitter person, but that in most cases my brain actively frightens me, which leads to some very interesting results. And by that I mean I can draw some crazy conclusions from even the most innocuous of statements (see everything I have ever written about Alan Moore). I like to believe this is what makes me a good writer, but deep down I know it just means I am insane.

This also means much like the Japanese pop singer Gackt, I should never be let out in public without a handler (if interested, I will perhaps one day explain the reasoning behind this sentence). For example, let us explore what I loosely call my "thought processes."

My hetero lifemate, bless her little enabling heart, sent me a couple of links to a picture of a moth which led to me wishing that Alan Moore had his own television show. If you cannot see how those two things can possibly be connected then congratulations: you are not insane!

Alas, I have long ago lost any shred of good sense I ever had and thus my brain leaped and bounded and cartwheeled in the batshit crazy territory with abandon.

Let us try to follow the overgrown corkscrewed paths of my thought processes, shall we?

It started with this. This is a normal moth:

This is a hell beast that just rubs its legs together and whispers Latin in your ear at night:

This was my initial response: OH SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS GET SOME HOLY WATER AND KILL IT.

Eventually, after I could look at the screen without flinching and searching for a flamethrower, I told my hetero lifemate thus: "Oh god, I bet it's one of the elder gods. Actually, like those moths in the Lord of the Ring movies, I bet Alan Moore doesn't use the mail and instead employs this to deliver his messages. His beard whispers instructions to it in dead languages that have not existed for thousands of years..."

My enabling hetero lifemate's response: YES!

And this is the point where it didn't so much as spiral down into craziness as it leaped off with a faulty jet pack to plummet down the cliffs of insanity ala Wile E. Coyote style.

I have named the moth Yad-Thaddag, because if that hell-moth isn't an elder god I don't know what is (my hetero lifemate maintains that it is really Beezlebub. That is also highly likely, oh god, look at it, I need to hide under my blankie now.)

This is what I told my hetero lifemate:

Oh god, can you imagine poor Neil Gaiman's wife coming downstairs in the morning and seeing that waiting on the counter for her? Poor woman would try to beat it to death with a chair. Nothing short of divine intervention can kill this thing.

Neil Gaiman: Oh, hey, honey, Alan Moore wants to know if we can come to dinner. Honey? Why do you have that axe?

It did not stop there. There is more:

Alan Moore: Neil, why did Yad-Thaddag return with its wing bent?

Neil Gaiman: Um, yeah, sorry about that, Alan. But my daughter was trying to stab it with a carving knife.

Alan Moore: I was just wishing her a happy birthday.

Neil Gaiman: Alan, it...it came at her at head height.

My hetero lifemate responded with "Hee! Oh, Alan, this is why you have like two friends and they are AFRAID to unfriend you!"

If you doubt that this would actually exist, here's a picture of Alan Moore being inherently creepy for no other than reason than he can.

Is it wrong for me to now wish that Neil Gaiman and Alan Moore had their own show? And by that I mean the persona of Alan Moore that exists inside my own head. I'm sure in real life Neil Gaiman would be charming and say delightful things and then Alan Moore would silently stare through the television screen and into your soul for thirty seconds until Neil Gaiman came back to talk you back down.

No, I want this show where Alan Moore is being bitter and crazy and Neil Gaiman is just being dragged into these adventures against his will and every episode ends with Alan Moore staring into your soul through the television screen while Neil Gaiman makes you a cup of tea to help stave off your nightmares. Because I would watch that show. I would watch the hell out of it.

In a related note: I am now taking applications for anyone interested in becoming my handler. All the job entails is slapping my hand and saying in a loud, authoritative voice, "No, Jayne! Normal people don't think about Alan Moore and Gackt this much!" when I look thoughtful and start to giggle to myself. Then you just have to keep me away from all computers until I calm down and am capable of having a rational conversation again (note: this could take hours. Applicants must be patient).

In conclusion, I just want to say DON'T YOU JUDGE ME.

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I Think I'm Just a Little Gay for Felicia Day

2009-08-18T21:10:00.005-04:00

The Guild, which everyone whose ever looked up after six hours of obsessive gameplay and realized that they have no friends and should maybe do some groceries, then followed that thought with "One More Level" should watch, love and obsess over THE GUILD as I do. THE GUILD has a new season starting August 25! YAY!

Squee!
~Darcy

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Okay, that's it. I've had it.

2009-08-11T23:10:00.002-04:00

I'm about to do something i don't normally do. Or at least here. Not only will i have posted twice within a week, I'm about to rant, though i promise it won't be as well played as some of Darcy's or Laura's.
You know what REALLY kicks me into overdrive? Men. Stupid men who think abusive relationships are fun, or just plain ok. You knows what makes me even angrier? Women. These dumb little creatures who spout lines like "but i can't live without him" and "i can't leave him- he's the only one for me." Now, don't get me mixed up with a cold hearted beast who wishes death upon anyone in a relationship, in fact I'm very sympathetic when actual relationship troubles begin and the two are reaching to make things right.
What makes me a psychotic eye-twitching, lip-curling beast from the lowest reaches of hell is when a man says something to make a girl cry, on purpose, just for the sake of seeing her cry, and then manages to convince her to do something for him, because "he's the only one who'll love her like he does".
I hate that. Emotional abuse is still abuse. In fact, it's the kind that makes me sooooooo angry because society in general ignores it, and to some extent, makes excuses for it. Hell, the entire Twilight series is just that. A long story of emotional abuse and hastily fixed plot holes. I swear it says in the small print in the side chapter of some obscure section of the book;

"Girls, when a man loves you, and is willing to risk his life, his friends, and his emotional boundries for you, he's not good enough. No no, girls. The nice boys out there who are your friends and protectors and the men who bend over backwards to keep you safe and happy and loved are NOT the men you should be with. Those who admit their feelings for you, stay with you, and go out of their ways to do what's right for you are weak and not worth anything but the ignored status of 'friend'. You should be with the boy who yells at you, talks down to you, throws things and tells you he never wants to see you. If he's cold and emotionless, he's the one. If he leaves you and tells you you are worthless in his world, then you should do anything to follow him. Yes girls! Abuse is the right way to go about your lives! Never settle for happiness with a nice boy who works hard; be with the one who's never lifted a finger in his undead life for anyone or anything. Be with the boy who makes excuses for stalking you and then leaving you with no warning! Love the child who has done nothing for you but look at you in lust and not in love. Marry the man who puts you consistently in harms way!"

I swear it does. In the epilogue or something.

And that brings me to my reasoning for this whole near-strangulation attitude. At work a girl told me her life resembled Twilight. After slowly turning my head so to not show her my half-murderous grin, i asked her how. She told me about her emotionally abusive ex, who still called her even though they couldn't be friends. She went on to explain to me that he was on her facebook, and bugged her repeatedly with emotionally painful statements that he knew would make her cry, but she didn't have the heart to de-friend him because she still cares. But not really, because he's a jerk. And she KNOWS it's an abusive relationship, but she just can't go without.
That makes me sick. I almost slapped her. Really.
So then she tells me how the guy is like Edward in so many ways and my caring factor? it shut down. I could have just puked.

And on top of that, earlier that day i had found out that i lost weight. Ten pounds might not sound like much, but going from 170 to 160 on a very tall girl shows. And the response i got was that i could do better. I was happy that my healthy changes were making an impact, and the result was people suggesting i could be thinner. Somehow, i was still being judged even though i fit the norm. This strong trend for thin and drop dead pretty makes me crazy as well. When women as a majority grow up and take themselves seriously, maybe men will fall in behind. Or maybe when men start taking relationships seriously, women will too.
Side note, if you don't fit the categories, then don't take it personally. i know for a fact that many women and men survive a day-to-day life as functional humans. It just bugs me when some people can't. Welcome to life people, it's up to you to make it out alive.

You might be a nerd if....

2009-08-09T00:22:00.003-04:00

Yes you. Right there in the middle. No, not you, with the polo, i mean YOU in the t-shirt who's not looking me in the eye. And you, with jersey on, but you don't know who the team is. Yes, i know your secret. You make me so sad.
You who are closet gamers.
Yes, those of you who think of Zelda and Peach as damsels in distress. Those who look at a massive fluffy thing and think to themselves how snorlax-like it is. Those who deny it, but not only play Wow but have decent knowings of the classes and races. You people out there who play halo with your buddies, but who really know the plot by heart and respect the game as more than just an opportunity to shoot something.
Yes, you must come out of the box!

And i say all this so that i can compile a list of nerd-jokes. Feel free to add to them.

You might be a nerd if-
~you think of peach and zelda as damsels, but also feel that sometimes it's just not worth the struggle.
~large fluffy things are related to snorlax or jigglypuff.
~hypothetical questions about a worst case scenario start of with the words, "When the great Zombie Apocalypse happens..."
~Someone you hate (and/or your boss) gets nicknames like "Voldemort", "Darth Vader" and "Sephiroth"
~You cried when Aeris died. And all the way through that boss battle too.
~D&D is not a joke to you. Nor is Scion, Vamp-the Masq, Werewolf, or any other paper and pencil game. It's actually Saturday night with the boys.
~LARPing isn't a joke either. You put a lot of time and energy (and love) into that armor set.
~You don't think Avatar: The Last Airbender is seriously a child's show, but you would definitely watch it again with your kids!
~You talk about Bleach with your friends, but it has nothing to do with laundry.
~You mention Tier 4 armor comfortably in conversation, and you know how it looks on your night elf hunter.
~You know "WOW" isn't a verbal intonation of surprise, but an addiction that someone you know struggles with.
~You play Final Fantasy battle music while you work on homework.
~You find yourself muttering "I am a leaf on the wind, watch me soar!" whenever you play a flight simulator.
~You wish the super market carried more types of mushrooms, like the one that gave you extra lives, or the one that made you bigger.
~You either love or hate ninjas. And you think ninja/pirate hybrids are just people who can't pick a side.
~You have already tried mixing the Horde and Alliance drinks together, have come up with a new name for it, and found it doesn't taste very good.
~You move things like boxes or tables to the Tetris theme in your head.
~You know the Orange Box has nothing to do with the food, and you can name what's in it.
~You show this to your friends because you can all enjoy it on some level:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1912670

~You KNOW what movie luigi got slapped over. And you laughed.
~You know...this mess: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Bros._%28film%29
~Hell, you've laughed at some point already about this stuff.

I'm running out of good ones, so I'll stop while I'm ahead. Have fun peoples!

Oh for god's sake, are you kidding me?

2009-08-04T01:04:00.005-04:00

I am not, in fact, dead, despite my homicidal oven's best efforts. I won't go into details, but there was gas and a small ball of flame that blew open the oven door, blew out my pilot light, and tried to singe the skin off my finger. Also, I suspect my oven is conspiring with other elements in my apartment because not five minutes after the tiny fireball the blinds fell off my window for no other reason than to add insult to injury. I expect any day now for my fan to turn on me.

Murderous household appliances aside, I decided it was good a time as any to share some of my bitterness, because why be spiteful if you can't spread it around? (Note: this explains Alan Moore's existence.)

In a fit of boredom as I waited to counter the oven's latest attempt on my life, I was surfing the internet when, lo, I came upon this gem of complete and utter bullshit craziness. Go read it. No, seriously. I'll wait.

Back already? In case you're wondering, yes, Harry Potter just got turned into a religion. Everyone together now: what the fucking fuck?

All right, tiny little warning before I get into this. I'm actually going to discuss the Harry Potter series, something I've had really no inclination to do before because the series is finally concluded, it's been two years since the last book was released, and, to be honest, I care little for the series itself. Yes, that means I am going to be very critical (read: bitter) about the books and Rowling, so if you hold a deep love for the series you might want to go read Darcy's quite lovely review of the movie. You could also stick around and argue with me in the comments and that would be equally as awesome, because I love a good argument (I fully expect Darcy to take me up on this).

That out of the way, let's move on. I don't know whether to sit these people down and take away all pointy objects or perhaps buy them puppies and kittens and hope the cute little animals distract them from interacting with the world, because damn, people, damn.

Look, I'm not about to dispute that Harry Potter is a huge cultural phenomenon--at least it's less inexplicable then, say, Twilight--but it's not the pinnacle of children's literature, or any literature at all, actually. It started as a few series of books about a boy going to a magical school and having magical adventures and then spiraled out into Rowling's message bout Love and Death and other nonsense.

I am all for books that get kids excited to read, but people have been writing fantasy series with deep layers far longer and better than Rowling. Just off the top of my head you have Pullman's His Dark Materials and Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising series (which a tragically few people know about and I have now made it my mission to introduce as many people to it as humanly possible). I didn't cite Narnia here because everyone knows Narnia, and, to be honest, the last book in the series is problematic if you're anything but a white, hardcore Christian.

I will admit that I quite enjoyed the first three Potter books, especially Prisoner of Azkaban, which took risks for a children's book. Goblet of Fire and onwards was just an increasing mess, not helped by Rowling's undeniable success and the fact her editors apparently just gave up. For example, is there anyone out there that thought it was vital to the plot of The Deathly Hallows for Harry and co. to sit around under a magical tent in some field for what felt like 900 endless pages? Anyone?

Not to mention that Rowling's writing itself started to decline, which became evident in the last book where the pacing was shot to hell, and we had gems like this: "The suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a presence." I'm sorry, but on what planet is that considered good writing?

A lot of people cite the sheer amount of pages of Harry Potter as a mark of the scope of the work. I won't deny that Rowling did put a lot of effort into making the series rather epic, and she did, arguable, succeed in that sense. However, the sheer amount of words you write doesn't making anything epic or deep.

For example, take Cooper's The Dark is Rising. It's only five books to Harry Potter's seven, and only a fraction as long. In fact, the third and fourth books, The Green Witch and The Grey King respectively, don't even break two hundred pages. And this is absolutely not at all a weakness. I'll be the first to admit that Cooper's writing is dense enough that so much can be packed into one page that I often find myself reading it to get everything. This is a strength, because Cooper does not waste one word. The same cannot be said about Rowling and the magical tent of pace killing boredom.

In fact, Cooper is such a master of making use of her space that one of the most important characters in the entire series only appears in the last two books, but by the end I knew him better than Harry, who I had spent seven books with, and Dumbledore of the interminable exposition back story dump of oh my god Rowling seriously.

And, for the record, killing off characters does not make one edgy or dark, especially when the characters you kill off only include secondary characters and an owl. It says nothing about Death other than that Rowling thought she was being dark and edgy. You killed an owl, Rowling. Shut up.

As seen in the article about Rowling's website, Rowling has an interesting relationship with her readers and with fandom. I'm not even going to get into Harry Potter fandom because it's a giant, frightening beast, but will discuss the way that Rowling and fandom intersect.

In this day and age with the internet making things so easy, fandom is an entirely different creatures than pre-iternet days where you had to go hunt down convention and 'zines to get your fanfic fix. Now you do a simple google search and viola! You can find porn for any pairing your twisted little heart desires.

Most authors and creators take a rather ambivalent stance to fandom and transformative works (i.e. fanfiction, fanart, and fanvids) and pretty much stay away from it. Some, like Robin Hobb, see fanfic as encroaching on their ownership of the work and destroying her carefully constructed novels (I do not agree with this, because people are going to take away different things from your work and you cannot control that or how they expound on those interpretations). Others, like Terry Pratchett, accept it but make no move to actively seek out transformative works based on their creations.

Rowling...is an interesting case. Harry Potter fandom is so prevelant that even if you are not actively seeking things out, you're going to pick up some idea of it via osmosis if nothing else. In Harry Potter fandom it's pretty apparent that one of the major pairings is Sirius/Remus. It may have no canon basis, but a lot of fandom extrapolates what they want from cannon and then runs with it.

I've mentioned up there in an aside about personal interpretation and how an author cannot control it. An author can, of course, guide it by suggesting and outright stating things in the text, but at the end of the day it is the reader who takes what they want from the work. Now I'm not about to suggest all interpretations have equal validity, because anyone who has ever sat through a freshmen lit course knows what nonsense that is. What I am suggesting is that two people can read the same text and take different things away from it depending on their point of view, and that is what makes books and the act of reading rather amazing.

Rowling appears to disagree and seems intent on doing the interpretation for the reader. Look, as a writing student I can sympathize that it's frustrating if your audience doesn't take away what you want, but that suggests the fault lays with you the writer and not the audience. Rowling seems to be of the mindset it's the audience's fault and will do everything she can to rectify it.

Take the Remus/Sirius fandom created relationship that I mentioned paragraphs ago (I did have a point in that). In whatever book, six or seven maybe, Harry goes into Sirius' old room and sees that he had up multiple posters of half-naked woman. This is pretty much Rowling telling those who create work advocating that Remus and Sirius were going at it like bunnies to fuck off because Sirius is completely and utterly straight, damnit! That's a real mature response to your audience, Rowling.

To make matters worse, in her latest book Beedle the Bard after every story there are Dumbledore's notes, which is literally Rowling telling you how to interpret her work. In doing so Rowling is actively taking away the reader's own interpretation, leaving nothing for them to interact with. That does not make reading fun. It makes it boring and dull and insulting. Well done, Rowling.

Out of this cultural phenomena, you get The Harry Potter Alliance. I won't deny that the Alliance has done some wonderful things, donating books to schools in Rwanda, but the fact that they decided to make their moral compass a character from a mediocre children's book series is worrying and infuriating.

Look, there is a long history of books raising social activism, which is amazing and awe inspiring. But, I have to tell you, Harry Potter isn't exactly on the same level as Uncle Tom's Cabin or The Jungle. Harry Potter is only a few steps up from Twilight: How to Get Yourself into an Abusive Relationship.

Slack is using Dumbledore as an indicator of right and wrong, the same man who sent a seventeen year old boy off to willingly die. And, yes, I know, Harry had to die because he had a piece of Voldemort's soul in him and so on, that does not take into the account Dumbledore spent much of the series being some God-like figure who wouldn't get off his ass to perhaps find a way to keep a young boy alive. Awesome.

And then there's this paragraph in particular:

"Slack relates all sorts of social issues back to themes in the Harry Potter books. Using the opinions of Harry's mentor Albus Dumbledore as a moral compass, Slack suggests Potter fans should fight prison torture because Dumbledore was against Dementors, and that they should support fair trade because Dumbledore agreed on giving rights to house elves."

I don't know whether to frame this paragraph or go on a week long bender. Again, books promoting social activism is a good thing, but Jesus Christ, taking something as complex as free trade and relating it to Rowling's rather patronizing and condescending attitude to house elves and social classes is fucking ridiculous.

And, of course, Rowling has her own say in this: "What did my books preach against throughout? Bigotry, violence, struggles for power, no matter what. All of these things are happening in Darfur. So they couldn't have chosen a better cause."

Oh my god, shut up, you stupid, arrogant, smug little woman!

It is evident that Rowling was trying to make big statements about Tolerance and Love and Death in her books but if you look below the shiny surface she pretty much failed.

Yes, Rowling, you preached tolerance in that you literally turned Death Eaters into Nazis. That's as deep and profound as saying, "You know what? Hitler was a crazy, horrible human being and genocide is bad."

And you definitely fought bigotry by making your protagonists any ethnicity beside Caucasian and any class other that, say, middle. Oh wait, you completely didn't. In fact, your text is pretty much a construct of bigotry.

Let's take the issue of race first, shall we? Harry is white from a (albeit abusive) middle class family. Hermoine? Well, she's female, but still white from middle class family. Ron: white, but from lower middle class. That's not really ground breaking. In fact, everyone in your books are pretty much white, aren't they? Accept for Dean, who is black, and Cho Chang, who is Asian. In the movies I think those twins in Gryffindor whose names I never bothered to learn because you never bothered to give them personalities are British Indian, but I'm not sure if that was ever stated in the books.

So your hero is a white, middle class kid who literally gets turned into a Christ figure. Way not to subvert anything but to completely uphold the idea that only heroes get to be white. God forbid Harry was Indian or Asian or anything that wasn't white, because he was the hero, damnit, and how would kids identify with him if he wasn't white as the driven snow?

And, yes, Rowling, you claim to be a feminist, but of your prominent female characters, mainly Hermoine and Ginny, both end up married to their childhood sweethearts. Hermoine is smart and way more capable than either Harry or Ron, but she's a girl and therefore couldn't be the hero either. Women are there to be the love interest or to help the hero, not to save the day themselves.

Moving onto a wider view point, the entire text is almost in support of bigotry and stratification. The wizarding world is presented as being better than anything else ever. Rowling pretty much outright said this in an interview, and while this is her creation and she can think whatever the hell she wants, I, for one, will take e-mail over mail delivered by owl any day.

Now the books, with one or two small deviations, are from Harry's point of view, and this idealization of the wizarding world makes sense. Harry came from a horrible family that abused him for years--anything would seem better after that.

The problem comes when Rowling widened the scope of the books. If this series were truly about tolerance and preaching against bigotry then it should become clear that the muggles and the giants and werewolves and all the rest were just as important and just as valid as the wizards. Sure, Rowling paid lip service to trying to bring together giants and werewolves to fight against Voldemort and his Nazis, but in the end were they important?

No. The day was saved by the white middle class Jesus, thus proving the wizarding world is still the best ever, no question, everyone else can just suck it and accept their status as second class citizens.

Except for house elves, because if we pretend you're people you'll get back in the kitchen faster.

Oh, by the way, that brings me to the houses of Hogwarts. Rowling made it damn clear that Gryffindor is the best and Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are not even close seconds and anyone sorted in Slytherin is pure evil because ambition is the devil.

That's a really interesting theme there, because, let's face it, Harry Potter is the more passive character to ever passive in the history of passivity. He is the Boy Who Lived. All his heroics boil down to his ability to not die. If this were another writer I would suspect Rowling was subverting what it is to be hero, but since this is Rowling, I'm left suspecting that for her ambition is, by her definition, evil.

Take Philosopher's Stone for example. Harry gets the stone because he have absolutely no ambition or motivation to ever use it. Dumbledore said that if did have any sort of inclination to, you know, actually do anything the stone would be denied him. That's pretty much Harry's constant theme: he does these things because Dumbledore tells him to, not because he has any personal will or ambition of his own.

(Aside, Daniel Hemmens at FerretBrain.com has written a lot of really interesting articles about Harry Potter the themes in the book here. Be warned that he is way more harsh and critical than me, so you might want to proceed with caution.)

But I digress. Let's tackle the idea of tolerance, shall we? Harry Potter does preach tolerance, if by "tolerance" you mean that Voldemort is, in the words of Eddie Izzard, "a genocidal fuckhead." I think most people reading the books agree that wiping out and subjugating entire races is bad. Those that disagree are probably not reading Harry Potter and and are unlikely to have their minds changed by children's books.

You know what would have been a lot more striking about this book in regard to tolerance, Rowling? If everyone wasn't white and straight. Oh wait, Dumbledore was supposed to be gay, wasn't he? Even though you couldn't be bothered to state that in the actual text, because why would gay and lesbian kids out there need someone they could identify with?

Also, Rowling stated that Dumbledore fell in love with a man once when he was eighteen. We never know if it was requited, just that he became asexual afterwards. Um, Rowling? Yeah, that's not a basis of homosexuality. Asexuality is part of the human sexuality spectrum, but to be homosexual Dumbledore has to be sexually attracted to other men and have sex with them. What you've done is made an old man who wears robes (read: dresses) into a homosexual because any man that isn't married and dresses weird is apparently gay. Well done.

In fact, you know what would have been really interesting? If at the end of your book where everyone is happily paired off with their 2.5 children and the house and the fence and the dog if you had a happily in love gay or lesbian couple in there as well. You don't have to make a big deal about it. Actually, it would work a whole lot better if you presented it as being completely and utterly normal. Hell, you could make them childhood sweethearts to stick with the theme of you finding your true love at eleven. That would have said more about Love and Tolerance than your 9,000 pages about how Nazis are bad.

In short, I find the Harry Potter Alliance ridiculous not because of the work they do but that the fact they advocate these books as the be all and end all of moral guidance (for fuck's sake, Slack says it's "Talmudic." Fuck you, Slack.)

They ask What Would Dumbledore Do?

Based on my reading of the text, I would say he would find an eleven-year-old boy, who after years of physical and psychological abuse and neglect, would latch onto the first kind word from a father figure, and spend the next seven years shaping him into an unthinking sacrifical lamb he would send to the slaughter to end a war he can't be bothered to get up his ass for more than two seconds to do anything about. That's what Dumbledore would do.

Because I Couldn't Resist

2009-07-29T21:40:00.006-04:00

Because I couldn't resist, here are a couple of other youtube videos of Star Wars characters dancing. Yeah, they're shameless, and yeah, they're really silly, but oh man are parts of them funny. I can't stand the first part of this one, but it's well worth it to get to those three female characters dancing to "Single Ladies" by Beyonce.

And this one is an entire start to finish cut of the "dance contest" at the Star Wars Hoopla at Star Wars Weekends at Disney's Hollywood Park.

And here is one of my favorite silly and yet satisfying star wars re-creations ever: the Cantina band dancing to their classic tune.

Please don't judge me. lol.
Lady Jones

I Blame the Lemon Drops! A Harry & THBP Review

2009-07-29T20:49:00.004-04:00

I know, I've been away, forgive me. My struggle to maintain a nerdy lifestyle in a bad economy means that work takes up a lot of my free time lately. But, I haven't forgotten you, reader!

I, Darcy, state here and now that there will most definitely be huge spoilers about the new Harry Potter movie, as well as the associated book series. If you are one of those people (read: weirdos) who are only watching the movies or "plan on reading the books later", and have somehow, miraculously, avoided spoilers for this long; DO NOT read this review or you shall have at last met your Waterloo.

I must admit I will be really, really sad when the last of these movies are out and the franchise is over. Few things excite me as much as new Harry Potter-related things anymore. (I'm bitter and old.) Also, I really liked this movie. Keep that at the back of your mind as I spiral downward into nerd-rage.

Three major things that bugged me right away, first viewing.

#1 Snape:
Well, OK, to clarify, Harry and Snape's big "confrontation" after Snape kills Dumbledore. Firstly, the filmmakers chose to skip the semi big battle between the Order of the Phoenix/Dumbledore's Army and the invading Death Eaters that comes before this. If I take into account the fact that the filmmakers didn't want this movie and the last one to have similar endings, I am ok with this, (now, after a few weeks away from it to regain rationality.) I don't really think that a lopsided battle between a bunch of adults and a handful of very magically talented, luck enhanced children is exactly the same as an all out brawl between ALL of the good guys and ALL of the bad guys. In fact I think the only similarity between them is the setting of Hogwarts. I'd like to think that my fellow movie-goers aren't that stupid but, alas, I know this hope is a false one. I missed the scene mostly because I really like seeing magic fights. The one in Order of the Pheonix was pretty cool. Also, I was looking forward to how they would portray the Felix Felicis working in a battle setting. I think it would have greatly improved a movie that was lacking in action where the other movies were not. Poo.

Harry chases Snape and the other Deatheaters as they flee from Hogwarts, and he's yelling and having all of his noobness pinged back into his face by Bellatrix and Snape. Fine, but, as Harry uses Snape's Sectum Sempra against him and Snape blocks and counters it, I was all ramped up for Snape to freak...and he just...didn't. It was so disappointing, so lackluster it caused a flare up of misplaced rage. I should be angry at Snape, even if I've read all of the books and have Snape's true motivation floating around in the back of my mind. I should be right there with Harry, full of helpless rage and hatred for this man who's, as far as you know, just murdered (one of) your surrogate fathers right in front of you. This man who's treated you like little more than refuse since you were eleven for no reason that you can understand. Daniel Radcliff does this very well, he has noticeably improved in every subsequent movie since Sorcerer's Stone. My problem with this scene was mostly, and it burns to say this, Alan Rickman.

Ok, so a lot of people I know have yet to read the books. That's fine. They don't know what they're missing but whatever. Because of this, when I'm discussing the movies with them I have this tendency to say the phrase "Well, in the book..." and tack on a long rant about characters and plot and lit-nerd jargon which basically can make me look and sound like a dweeby fangirl but I don't care.

SO.

In the book the confrontation between Harry and Snape is so frustrating and intense! Just as Harry is hurling all of his pain and rage and fear at Snape, so should Snape be showing every single ounce of hatred he has for this kid. Pretty much none of that came through in the movie and it bummed me right the hell out. Rickman's hateful sneer is cool as ever,(and the littlest bit sexy) he does that very, very well. I just don't think that that was the time or the place for Snape to keep his cool.

#2 Hagrid
Or really, the lack thereof. Robbie Coltrane's Hagrid, as well as Dame Maggie Smith's Minerva McGonagall, Luna Lovegood and Remis Lupin are all standards of perfect casting that I will hold high forever. (Especially Luna, it's almost eerie how perfectly she fits the character that I imagined in my head as I read, down to the sound of her voice!)

Hagrid is one of the best characters in the series. He's literally a giant walking contradiction. He's huge and looks like a frightful beardy wild-man only not in the nightmarish Alan Moore kinda way. Your first sane impression of him should leave you needing to change out your underpants. He hangs around with some of the most vicious and horrible creatures in fantastic history and loves them the same as if they were cuddly little puppy-kitten hybrids made of happiness, bubbles and the laughter of children. He cries like a two ton baby at the drop of a hat! Now, admittedly the movie version of Hagrid isn't quite as blubbery as his literary counterpart but there is still absolutely no excuse for Hagrid standing with the rest of the school over the corpse of Dumbledore, most beloved of wizards, as if he were made of stone. If I hadn't been too occupied with blubbering like a two ton baby myself I would have been chucking my big-gulp at the screen.

#3 The title of the movie
So, maybe your looking at that thinking, "Huh!?"but look at it this way. Why should they call the movie Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince if they're just gonna ignore almost the entirety of the subplot that centers around the Half-Blood freaking Prince? Harry finds the potions book and gets some minor harassment about it, but mostly it's Hermione nagging about cheating and being sorta concerned that Harry is maybe learning spells he shouldn't be. The thought that Harry is taking advice from an eerily intelligent book of shifty origins and that this kinda sorta happened before never seems to cross anyone's minds in the film. Then we almost forget about the book except that Harry is carrying it around everywhere and allegedly sleeping with it. It doesn't come up again until Harry uses Sectum Sempra against Draco Malfoy and they hold an intervention to get Harry to get rid of the book for good. He does so...is that it? Do we care who the Half-Blood Prince is? Apparently not 'cause it's isn't brought up again until Snape admits to being the Half Blood Prince himself. If I hadn't read the book I can imagine my reaction to that revelation would have been a resounding, "uhm...so?" Did the filmmakers forget that not everyone has read the books in depth, multiple times before seeing the movies? They didn't even bother to explain what that meant! Grr! Shoulda called it Harry Potter and the Death of Dumbledore 'cause that's clearly the only part of the story they cared about telling.

Despite the stuff that was glaringly wrong with this movie, there was so very much more that was done really well. In fact, aside from the fact that I spent the last twenty minutes of the movie sobbing into my popcorn even though I promised myself I wouldn't do that, I left that theater feeling like I'd just seen one of the best Harry Potter movies to date. Maybe not the best translation of the books, but the movie itself was damn good. It was funny and dark. I loved that they gave Ginny Weasly a personality. I can understand some fans, (mostly American) who complain that the Ginny and Harry thing kinda came out of no where. I personally hold with the idea that because the books are from Harry's perspective, it makes sense that Ginny would be a sort of background character until she comes into her own as a woman and becomes something more that Ron's kid sister to him. They literally go through war together before he really sees her. Plus Harry totally strikes me as the kind of guy who would fall for his best friend's sister. He associates her with the Burrow, the only place outside of Hogwarts he could really call home. The only other place, at least until the seventh book, he could feel safe. They also are the only two people in the world that know what it's like to be possessed by Voldemort, which I'm sure makes for lovely bonding moments.

I loved the funny moments, especially the performance of Jessie Cave as the delightfully terrifying Lavender Brown and Harry when he's high on luck. There were very scary moments, I jumped about five feet into the air when that Infiri's hand grabbed Harry out of the lake, (even though I KNEW that was gonna happen!) The scenes with young Voldemort are equally terrifying. In my opinion he is more terrifying as a sociopathic child than as a murderous, psychotic adult. The action, (what there was of it,) was superb, especially the Quidditch match, which showed for the first time that Quidditch is a sport. The series continues to be a showcase for the best of British actors and actresses, this time Jim Broadbent proving a point that nobody doubted; that he is an amazing actor. Lastly the special effects were amazing, namely the destruction of the Millenium Bridge and the memories within the Pensieve.

I'm excited for the next two films. I'm very happy that they are breaking the last book into two movies. It shows that maybe they'll try to be more faithful with more time to spread the story out. I don't know where they'll split them, though I have my theories. (At some point before or after the Trio gets captured and taken to the Malfoy's, that seems to be a popular one, though.)

The first half of the first part will have to be dedicated to filling in the plot chunks missing in the films that are integral to a lot of the end of the story. (i.e. Kreacher, his relationship with Harry after Sirius's death, Dobby, the Horcruxes and Dumbledore's wand.)

Like I said, I'll be sad when it's all over. The remaining slivers of my soul that the loan companies and my job don't own have been consumed by this emo little kid with a lightning bolt scar and the world that J.K. Rowling created for him since I was in high school. Now I'll re-read the series at least once every year and let that little part of me believe in magic, (or jealously covet, depending on my mood) at least for a little while.

~Darcy

Yet Again, Made of Awesome

2009-07-29T15:51:00.004-04:00

No matter how many times I watch this youtube video of Darth Vader dancing, it's still just awesome.
Oh, Tokyo Stormtrooper, what have you begun?

Lady Lara Jones

The Winners of the Justice League Poll Are.....

2009-07-15T20:57:00.008-04:00

The winning results of your favorite second string Justice League Characters polls are as follows: In a last-minute dash for the finish line, Green Arrow won the poll with 9 votes!

The Question and Black Canary tied with 8 votes for second place, and the rest of them were a pretty even spread (except for Hawk and Dove who got NO votes at all, proving they are vastly not people's favorite characters).

Keep voting on our polls, and thanks for giving your feedback!
The Geek Girls

Ghostbusters the Video Game: Highly Anticipated, and Surprisingly Not a Let-Down

2009-07-15T19:38:00.008-04:00

Ahhh Ghostbusters, one of my favorite films, not only from my childhood but today as well. It's fun, it's full of great dialogue that is seriously quotable, and it's a spoof that ended up being a little more real and cool than I think Harold Ramis ever imagined it would be. It spawned a huge franchise and following, and of course even in the 80s this meant video games on "home entertainment" consoles. There was an atari game about the first movie, an arcade game of the cartoon spin-off, an NES game based on the second movie, and finally a Sega Genesis game based on the original plot. Ghostbusters also made a brief modern-day comeback in the 2002 Game Boy Advance Game "Extreme Ghostbusters: Code Ecto 1." Unfortunately, this game was not very good and was also not really marketed, so most people don't know it existed.

Ghostbusters then vanished into the void of nostalgia of all of us who knew and loved it. I was pretty sure that was the end of it, but I'm happy to say that the DVD special edition release generated so much renewed interest in the films that it spawned not only a new video game in 2009; it also brought about a confirmed Ghostbusters III movie set to begin production soon. This movie will take place after the first two and allow Ramis and Akroyd to expand upon a story they thought would never be published.

I have to admit to you that when they first announced that they were making a new Ghostbusters video game for the next-gen systems I was ecstatic. But then I remembered something: most movie-based video games suck really, really bad. But wait, Harold Ramis and Dan Akroyd are writing this one? Maybe, just maybe, it won't suck! I thought to myself...and luckily for me, I was correct. Not only did this game NOT suck, but it was actually pretty decent and provides us with a great continuation of the Ghostbusters story and franchise. (Just so you know I played the PS3 version because I love Blu-Ray and have always been addicted to the play-action that the Dual Shock controllers deliver. Not to say the other versions aren't good, but I did hear the Wii and PS2 versions were a little too cartoony and dulled-down for most people.)

Right in the beginning you are dropped into the Ghostbuster's converted firehouse with the classic theme music playing your introduction. You are the newest member of the Ghostbusters and (according to Venkman) you had better watch your back because the other fifth members they attempted to add either didn't stick around for very long or disappeared because something terrible probably happened to them.

The firehouse is, down to every last detail, exactly what it was in the movie, and exactly what I wanted to see. The upstairs has the bedroom areas and awesome arcade machines in the corner. Entertainingly enough, one of the achievements is, "You Gotta Try This Pole!" which is awarded to you when you slide down the fireman's pole for your first mission. This game has nostalgia oozing out of it in so many directions it's hard to know where to begin explaining how awesome the environments can be.

Iconic characters like the State Puff Marshmallow Man, the creepy Vigo painting (which talks to you when you walk up to it in the downstairs of the firehouse), and always annoying-but-endearing Slimer are all present and accounted for. You can drive around the classic ambulance, which now has a giant trap on top of it so you can suck ghosts right into it. The soundtrack is identical to the movies (though it does get a little repetitive towards the end because they ran out of unique songs to use for levels). Honestly, everything about the construction of this game had a whole lot of time and effort put into it. People poured some serious hours into this game, and it shows. I wish they had fixed some of the gameplay issues, but what game these days doesn't have those quirky things that piss you off?! I played for hours on end because I got wrapped into the story, and I suffered some of the annoying gameplay because it was really worth it.

But of course, no game is perfect, and I was reminded of this as soon as it came time to start busting some ghosties. You get your proton pack and are instructed never to let it overheat. Your overheat meter is tiny and infuriating, as it appears in a small box on the side of your pack (which you see, sort of, but I am going to tell you I have a huge TV and it's STILL annoying to try to spot) and unless you just train yourself to press R1 every 30 seconds or so in the beginning you are just going to overheat that bastard over and over again and honestly you can just take the health drop until your pack finally gets upgraded a bit.

Aiming is ok, but a little sluggish, and I honestly see how the developers had to mix up the gameplay a little by making you "slam" ghosts into walls and the like with a kind of "lock-on" function. This does add for a little variety but not too much so don't expect a whole lot out of that aspect of the game. Much like other adventure games with repetitive enemy bashing techniques, you just have to find your groove and enjoy the story. You have to admit, even the Zelda games have a lot of repetitive gameplay. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE ZELDA GAMES so much that I have played all the best ones at least five times, but even I have to admit that it can get button-mash-tacular every so often.

My last complaint about this game is the camera. Sure, it follows you around decent enough (unlike some games) but with all the ghosts that end up swirling around you, you'll start to feel really overwhelmed like maybe you're not getting them fast enough or maybe you're just not making the cut. I started wondering at times if I was truly accomplishing my missions or just barely making the grade. When you fall down, your comrades have the opportunity to help you, but if you all get beaten down it's "game over" and you have to start the scene over again.

My advice: definitely play Ghostbusters if you are a fan. Just maybe wait until it goes down in price and it will be seriously worth it. I don't know if I would pay sixty dollars for it, but I would definitely pay thirty!

Anyone out there played the game yet? If so please leave me some feedback! I want you to give me something to work with here, even if it is only a couple of words! You can right "game sucks" for all I care...but can we get some comments from time to time?

Alright, I'm done ranting. Keep gaming!
Lady Lara Jones

Convorsational pieces, computers, and a big part of why i haven't posted in a while

2009-07-13T14:22:00.002-04:00

As it turns out, although many bad things have happened to my computer over the three years i've owned it, it has always picked a good time to crap out on me. It usually died after exams, or right before i went away for a period of time, and i could live without my beloved interwebs. Sadly though, this time was the kicker. My mother board had fried itself (twice now), my wireless card stopped working (which lead to a larger issue for some reason...) and there was an indecent involving water (mind you this was four separate events, not all at once). That's only including the issues that sent my old baby to the ER. Now i have a new love-child of gamer affection and Japanese technology.

But really what this post is about is computers in general, and looking for a new one. Caution; this review involves short battery lives, bad graphics, some irritants, and fire. Or at least the theory of it.
And it will be short because i'm still getting everything in order.

So i asked people, and the web, what would be a good next computer. A Dell? Gateway? Toshiba? HP? It's been a while since i last bought a computer and i like to be updated on who's still making good laptops, rather than hopping into line with what used to work and coming up with the electronic equivalent of pond scum. Yum.
So my first stop was Dell. Not because i used to own one, nor for any good reviews, but because i was under the impression it was cheap. Boy, was i naive three days ago!
So i ask the interweb, "web, my friend and occasional enemy, what do you think of Dell laptops?"
It made a crying sound. Confused, i looked up more information. As it turns out, dells are good desktops generally, although they have a habit of pretending they're the original x-box and crashing for no reason. No, friends, the sobbing noise was trying to say, "laptops of this type don't take hits well from lots of travel, don't always hold up to the abuse people present, and they're not always the best option as laptops go." Appeased, i moved on. Hey; i'd rather not walk into that situation if i know it'll go down like a blind date between Oprah and Hitler.
On to Gateway, which brought up a great story i won't forget. I was told by a friend i know that Gateway products have a bad reputation for an incident that happened once long ago. Always up for a good laugh, i asked him to go on. Apparently the desktop in question was installed and prepared to begin for the very first time, when upon pressing the Start button, the tower fizzed, and exploded into flames.
Now i was tempted to buy the thing, but for all the wrong reasons. Imagine this:

"Hey Dave, what did you want me to come over for?"
"Oh Mark! Great, you're here! Come into the kitchen, you have to see this!"
".....Dave...it's a computer. What about it?"
"Not just any computer, it's a Gateway!"
"..."
"...Ok wait, hold my beer, i'll show you what i mean!"
(Dave goes over and presses the start icon on the tower. A few seconds pass.)
"Look, Dave, i know you've been having a rough week, but you rea-"
(Mark is cut off by the sound of fizzing as Dave runs back to where Mark is standing. The tower suddenly erupts in flame, and the two men watch as it slowly begins to burn.)
"Dave, where the hell did you get that?"
"Oh i bought it online. Had a few extra hundred dollars lying around."
"...you could have just given that money to me."
"But then i wouldn't have an exploding computer."
"...what the fuck man."
(Later that night, a party is in the same house, and the computer stills burning on the table.)
"Hey man, nice party, this place is...uh...what is THAT?"
(Dave slides over, looking smug.)
"It's my computer. I think it makes a perfect conversational piece. The chicks really dig it."

Yeah. Call me silly, but that and a shitty review i found online led me to think maybe it wasn't the choice for me. Moving on.
Really what it ended up turning into was Toshiba vs HP. This was partly due to the restrictions on my computer exchange contract, and partly because they both had good reviews in general and offered me the gaming space and functions i needed. Luck had it that a well equipped black Toshiba was within my contract, and the competitor was a white HP with slightly weaker graphics. This round went to Toshiba!
In essence i had personal feeling about both and i was happy to get what i did, but boy was it an adventure. But i'm back now!

Our Broken Layout

2009-07-09T11:35:00.002-04:00

Please excuse our broken layout. I was attempting to write my own HTML for our page but cannot get comment HTML to feed properly so for the temporary we will have this ugly green layout instead (that is blogger-official).
I'm hoping to bring back the fun layout with changing backgrounds soon.
If you have advice for HTML feed comment layout please leave me a message or drop us an email!
Thanks!
Lady Jones

Our Current Obsession with Steampunk

2009-07-08T18:26:00.010-04:00

So lately we've been using our boredom in the venue of cosplay and science fiction. I am referring to, more specifically, the creation of steampunk outfits. Now you may be asking, what is steampunk? or Why steampunk? (and why are we so obsessed that we temporarily changed our background to a neat, steampunk, artsy photo!?) Well to those of you wondering, steampunk is some seriously cool fiction that allows us to be transported to a world in which future technology made its way into the culture of the Victorian and Western 1800's. This creates a fabulous world of cowboys with jetpacks, merchants with airships, and ghostbusters with steam powered Proton Packs. Steampunk often allows us to explore avenues of technology that humanity left for history to swallow up. For instance, what if we had continued to fly blimps or if H.G. Well's time machine had actually existed?

To make a long story short, we decided that we wanted to make Steampunk costumes for Anime Boston, Halloween, and any other use we can possibly get out of them. Darci has gone all out and taken to getting every cog, piece of copper wire or leather, or any other cool craft-able part she can get her hands on. She has also begun the vast design on several characters whose back-stories we will post about soon. My role in this has been mostly research based, as I haven't had too much time to spend on my outfit yet, but I know I'm going to contribute as much as I can (though admittedly I'm not a seamstress by any stretch of the imagination).

A Cosplay.com member shows off his awesome costume in a very appropriate setting.

Some cool things I have found in my travels that I wanted to share with you include the Space 1889 Role Playing Game. Though I haven't had a chance to try it out yet it seems pretty sweet and I'm probably going to pick it up and give it a try. It takes place in 1889 as if theories at that time regarding space travel had all come to fruition. Victorian era space faring is supported by the European world powers of the time carving out their territories on Mars, Venus, Mercury, and the like (though most of the focus is on Mars). Technologies include ether propellers to travel through space, and a "liftwood" plant with anti-gravity properties that allows for airships.

Other cool things to check out if you haven't are the steampunk anime and science fiction films that are fun to watch and full of neat concepts. Castle in the Sky, Steamboy, and Howl's Moving Castle are all heavily steampunk oriented, and many of Miyazaki's other films have some light elements taken from steampunk concepts.

Steampunk can also be inverted in a way that allows cultural and technological relics to endure and permeate into imaginary future environments. This is somewhat displayed in Joss Whedon's Firefly and the Playstation game Skies of Arcadia.

A modern cult movement known as Neo-Victorianism attempts to bring Victorian aesthetics and dress into circulation within modernity. A cool but probably doomed-to-die idea that is unlike our cosplay hobby, but still a neat sub-cultural concept. Also, I would love to see some of the dress and design ideas to become style influences in our future, but there are definitely some social concepts, particularly those surrounding women, that I am happy to see buried in the past.

A Neo Victorian watch for sale on artfire. https://www.artfire.com/modules.php?name=Shop&op=listing&product_id=217583

Bored? Try out this neat mini-game pack called "Cogs" from Lazy 8 Studios. It is basically a pack of puzzles where you put together pieces that will allow a steam punk device to operate. This could include arranging pipes so that you can fill a balloon that will allow a device to fly. Not the most in depth game ever but it would definitely pass a few hours if you needed it to.

Look up some steampunk for yourself and if you decide to join us in our costume making, post a comment or link some photos and we'll be sure to do the same.

Stay tuned for some neat stories, characters, and costumes here at Geek Girls!
Lady Lara Jones

In case you somehow missed it

2009-07-05T21:44:00.006-04:00

This is pretty much made of win:

It's described as "an example of transformative storytelling serving as a pro-feminist visual critique of Edward's character and generally creepy behavior...[and] some of the more sexist gender roles and patriarchal Hollywood themes embedded in the Twilight Saga."

First of all, I jut want to say word to all of that. Second of all, I feel there's a lot to be said here for how Bella/Edward is presented and how that compares to Buffy/Angel and Buffy/Spike. If we're taking a feminist route, there's also a lot to be said about Whedon and feminism, some of which I rambled on about specifically in regards to Dollhouse.

But, honestly, I just want to send this to Stephanie Meyer and possibly tattoo on her forehead "Girls don't find stalking romantic," which, seriously, Stephanie Meyer, what the fuck? Also, I've spent most of the day trying to revise a story that is driving me crazy and Eddie Izzard ("blaspheme, blasphe-you, blasphe-everybody-in-the-room") is currently on my television so I'm a bit useless for anything that requires me to think and use polysyllabic arguments. (Fun fact: that phrase just used up the last of my functioning brain cells!)

ETA: This is the artist of the mashup talking about the experience of the video and the idea behind it. It's fascinating and intelligent and well worth reading.
So just watch this video because it is awesome and join me in missing Buffy.