Thursday, November 12, 2009

I know i have a sick sense of humor. I hope you do too.

Ok this is going to be short because I'm in between classes, but i have to share it. This chaos started with a kid getting back from the dentist and acting goofy. From there it got worse. I'm only posting the original and the 2 others i liked best, but it's so worth it.
The original, "David After Dentist"
This one is Vader's skit, called "Chad After Dentist"
And the best/worst one, in my opinion:
"David After the Divorce"
I really think I'm going to hell. I feel bad that i laughed AT ALL on the last one, but oh well.
~Dancing Shadow

Monday, November 09, 2009

We still think we're hilarious

So y'all know I read awful things, right? And that I willingly seek them out? Instead of doing the eight-nine things that need to be written this week, I found a little gem out there on the Internet. And by "gem," I do mean, "literary horror," although it is still more readable then Twilight: Off Rack Johnny Depp in Body Glitter.

And, of course, I had to share a particular passage with my Hetero Lifemate. You, dear readers, get to see the result (her comments in italics, mine in bold).

The passage (and I swear to god this is a real thing): "'Thank you,' I mouthed. I didn't know why I was thanking him. Maybe it was for killing the hobo. Maybe it was for making me feel the most alive I've ever felt in my life. Maybe it was because he made me feel important. Needed. Wanted. Desired."


I, too, have always found the murder of a hobo to be romantic. I love how in the middle of all this sappy crap there's the casual mention of murder.

Yeah, do they mention why a hobo had to be murdered? Besides to arouse them apparently...

From what I gathered, the hobo was threatening him, so his werewolf boyfriend killed the hobo, I guess.

You KNOW. Not to sound like some HIPPY or anything but...I'm pretty sure that one look at his werewolf from would be all that was necessary to drive the hobo off.

I'm more worried that the poor idiot thinks that having his bf murder anyone that looks at him funny is proof of a healthy relationship.

While killing him [the hobo] is a permanent solution, and I'm sure some would say he provided a good service to society and all, I suppose when you're a werewolf you just kill and it's no big deal to you ever.

Lucky for him he's got an amoral sociopath for a boyfriend who finds murder to be an acceptable token of affection as a box of gas station chocolates.

Oooooh chocolates how delightful!

Hobo murder flavored chocolates!

That's an acquired taste, I think. It's got a musky aftertaste.

Musky, whiskey aftertaste.

With a hint of BO. Well, ok, more than a hint. More like a back handed pimp slap to the face.

With the subtle tang of syphilis.

And possibly lice. They're his friends! He has a name for every single one of them!

The lice will avenge him!

YEAH. WATCH OUT WEREWOLF. You goin' to be usin' that hind leg of yours a whole messa times. Hey, maybe it's not that he killed a hobo, but rather he's just gained a boyfriend AND a pet dog!

And in just a short amount of time we've improved this story and made it about a thousand times more plausible. And, no, before you ask, I have no idea what the actual plot was about beyond hobo killing and gay werewolves, but that should tell all you ever needed to know about it.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Jayne gets her snarky disapproval on about something on the Internet

So. I have such a love/hate with this site. They are snarky and fairly hilarious, and yet, let's be honest here, they are a bunch of frat boys. Yes, they have articles, like this one, that manage to grapple with social/political issues and still manage to be funny. But for everyone of those there are about thirty gay panic/homophobic jokes (because everyone knows that the gays want nothing more than some frat boy ass) and about elevenity million pictures of boobs. The entire editorial board is all male, which is, sadly enough, not abnormal at all, and, I am not trying to be a smart ass here, I honestly can't remember if I've ever read an article on the site written by a woman. There has to be one, right?

Look, I get it. Even though Cracked covers a huge array of topics, from Presidents to deadly insects and everything in between, it assumes that a majority of its readers are heterosexual men, who really fucking love boobs. Because boobs are awesome.

So, fine, okay, I accept there's going to be some casual sexism and homophobia going on, I got that, but this? That is just fucking lazy.

But it's funny, guys, because women fucking love shoes! And men don't! Seriously, we have statistics to prove it! Man, those crazy women and their shoes! So fucking wacky!

There's nothing new or groundbreaking or particularly funny about this. It's just another well worn stereotype being trotted out, complete with some objectification, because the author couldn't think of anything new and creative to write about. This is the equivalent of me getting on here and complaining about how men leave up the toilet seat and can't cook.

But, of course, it really is the comments that pull it altogether, like this gem: "If these articles that make fun of stereotypes make you mad, then just don't read them!!!!"

First of all, I am revoking this commenter's exclamation point privilege. You use one exclamation point and no more, you illiterate jackass.

Second of all, relying on stereotypes is not only lazy humor, but it also helps propagate racism and sexism; by ignoring these articles or remaining silent and not criticizing them is just another way to continue to promote a culture of prejudice and discrimination. Not to mention that it lets people think that lazy writing like this is acceptable.

Last Week was so Brutal

I normally don't buy games hot off the press, so to speak. I'm one of those annoying people who put of buying a game until the price is much cheaper than its original release price, so I wound up surprising even myself when i went out and purchased Brutal Legend almost 2 weeks ago.
It was so worth it.

I never really considered myself a heavy metal fan, but after playing this game for a while, I can strongly say it's made of best metal I've ever heard. But that's the point i believe...
The official site
I really don't want to ruin anything for people, but this is worth the purchase if you ask me. Strongly seeped in humor and visual arts, this game is impressive to me as a nerd and a music lover.

On a totally different topic,
Why would anyone go so far as to make this into a sign??
That's just cruel.