Thursday, December 15, 2011

Whatever Happened to Eden? Oh, it just tried to eat us.

I found Miss Darcy's Bug Pokemon theory so thrilling that I had to share Naughty Dog's latest "The Last of Us" game unveiling to petrify her even further. The game features a young woman and an older gentleman who try to survive in a post-apocalyptic world. Yes, it's another Zombie game my dears, however unlike previous Zombipocalypse endeavours, this one terrifies even my dusty little heart. The theory behind it's horrifying evolution is that there is a fungus that attacks insects, taking over their nervous system and causing them to act absurdly. It eventually began to transform mammals and the like.

 How could this be so terrifying, you may ask? It has been confirmed by National Geographic and various other media (BBC Planet Earth) that this fungus exists. It's name is Cordyceps.


If you'd rather not read the article, it boils down to this, the Cordyceps takes over the insects body, often resulting in their separation from the colony. The fungus then begins to slowly fill the innards of the insect and causes the creature to behave oddly as its muscles go to waste. It takes about nine days for the "zombification" to be complete. Nine days before a dying ant becomes completely zombified in which they will become a launching site for more spores to come.
"I want to be inside you" never applied quite so well before.

Now just imagine if you took that large Bug Pokemon, Miss D? And Zombified it? Should we stop there? There are spotted horse flies that can burrow under the skin and deposit their larva inside living flesh in the southern states of North America. Perhaps, if they were contaminated with this fungus and they burrowed, then what might happen? Oh dear, I hope you all have night terrors this evening.
Honestly, it's only a matter of time before we're all spore heads walking around like the living dead with our Overlord, Hades and his barrage of horrible laughs.

"I'm comin' and who's a fungi? eh? c'mon? Nothing?"

I thought I'd be ready for a Zombiepocalpyse, but if they're covered in fungus, I'll douse myself in petrol and light one. K Thanks.

Straight to Hell, lads. - Rook

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