Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Okay, that's it. I've had it.

I'm about to do something i don't normally do. Or at least here. Not only will i have posted twice within a week, I'm about to rant, though i promise it won't be as well played as some of Darcy's or Laura's.
You know what REALLY kicks me into overdrive? Men. Stupid men who think abusive relationships are fun, or just plain ok. You knows what makes me even angrier? Women. These dumb little creatures who spout lines like "but i can't live without him" and "i can't leave him- he's the only one for me." Now, don't get me mixed up with a cold hearted beast who wishes death upon anyone in a relationship, in fact I'm very sympathetic when actual relationship troubles begin and the two are reaching to make things right.
What makes me a psychotic eye-twitching, lip-curling beast from the lowest reaches of hell is when a man says something to make a girl cry, on purpose, just for the sake of seeing her cry, and then manages to convince her to do something for him, because "he's the only one who'll love her like he does".
I hate that. Emotional abuse is still abuse. In fact, it's the kind that makes me sooooooo angry because society in general ignores it, and to some extent, makes excuses for it. Hell, the entire Twilight series is just that. A long story of emotional abuse and hastily fixed plot holes. I swear it says in the small print in the side chapter of some obscure section of the book;

"Girls, when a man loves you, and is willing to risk his life, his friends, and his emotional boundries for you, he's not good enough. No no, girls. The nice boys out there who are your friends and protectors and the men who bend over backwards to keep you safe and happy and loved are NOT the men you should be with. Those who admit their feelings for you, stay with you, and go out of their ways to do what's right for you are weak and not worth anything but the ignored status of 'friend'. You should be with the boy who yells at you, talks down to you, throws things and tells you he never wants to see you. If he's cold and emotionless, he's the one. If he leaves you and tells you you are worthless in his world, then you should do anything to follow him. Yes girls! Abuse is the right way to go about your lives! Never settle for happiness with a nice boy who works hard; be with the one who's never lifted a finger in his undead life for anyone or anything. Be with the boy who makes excuses for stalking you and then leaving you with no warning! Love the child who has done nothing for you but look at you in lust and not in love. Marry the man who puts you consistently in harms way!"

I swear it does. In the epilogue or something.

And that brings me to my reasoning for this whole near-strangulation attitude. At work a girl told me her life resembled Twilight. After slowly turning my head so to not show her my half-murderous grin, i asked her how. She told me about her emotionally abusive ex, who still called her even though they couldn't be friends. She went on to explain to me that he was on her facebook, and bugged her repeatedly with emotionally painful statements that he knew would make her cry, but she didn't have the heart to de-friend him because she still cares. But not really, because he's a jerk. And she KNOWS it's an abusive relationship, but she just can't go without.
That makes me sick. I almost slapped her. Really.
So then she tells me how the guy is like Edward in so many ways and my caring factor? it shut down. I could have just puked.

And on top of that, earlier that day i had found out that i lost weight. Ten pounds might not sound like much, but going from 170 to 160 on a very tall girl shows. And the response i got was that i could do better. I was happy that my healthy changes were making an impact, and the result was people suggesting i could be thinner. Somehow, i was still being judged even though i fit the norm. This strong trend for thin and drop dead pretty makes me crazy as well. When women as a majority grow up and take themselves seriously, maybe men will fall in behind. Or maybe when men start taking relationships seriously, women will too.
Side note, if you don't fit the categories, then don't take it personally. i know for a fact that many women and men survive a day-to-day life as functional humans. It just bugs me when some people can't. Welcome to life people, it's up to you to make it out alive.


Lady Lara Jones said...

Dancing Shadow, you are discovering an ever-constant truth about the human race and many societies. People love the drama. Love it. Don't know why, but my damn anthropologist brain can't quite wrap around it... Also, losing 10 lbs is Great! Good for you!

Jayne said...

And that is why I refer to Twilight as a how to guide to getting in an abusive relationship.

Welcome to life. It blows.

Danicus said...

i had a big rant typed out, but the internet ate and deleted it without posting. rather than rewrite the whole damned thing... the gist.

Not only is the message about abusive relationships wrong, Bella's character is inherently flawed in that THERE IS NO CHARACTERIZATION. beyond. I LOVE A MAN WHO IS A BAD BOY AND YELLS AT ME she has nothing going for her. what are her hopes and dreams outside of boning a dead dude? i, for one, have no idea.

Christ do i hate poorly written books.