Friday, April 03, 2009

Bits and Pieces Friday

This a hodgepodge post I threw together of random, unrelated bits that don't quite deserve a post of their very own. Well, that and I am a lazy person, who is becoming ill and I don't have the energy to come up with anything original/insightful/humorous/adjective goes here on my own.

Battlestar Galactica finale: Yes, I realize it premiered two weeks ago but I am again a) lazy; b) swamped with work for grad school; c) really, cripplingly lazy.

There are going to be spoilers in this section, so if you haven't seen the episode yet then scroll on down where I ramble about comics for a while.

I didn't hate the episode, but the last half hour was a giant pile of what the fucking fuck? Seriously, Ron Moore and David Eick, what the hell? I understand that you're trying to be all edgy and dynamic, but having the surviving humans land on Earth and give rise to our modern civilization is, to put it lightly, not that original.

And let's not forget you reverted to the old stand by of "technology is evil! Let's all become farmers!" No, just no.

First of all, that is simplistic and an easy out. Second of all, the entire series, but especially the last half of season 4, was moving to all things hybrid: technology and the organic come together to make something new, but at the last minute you throw that all away for what exactly? A rehashing of some Luddite crap that all technology is scary and evil and will lead us to destruction? Science fiction and most of society has moved beyond that (well, the parts that aren't the Religious Right). And, again, such a goddamn cop-out.

And, I'm guessing, you guys didn't think through the getting rid of all technology thing, did you? Look, yes, while the colonists are capable of piloting aircraft that is not going to be helpful in them taking down animals for food or farming. They are going to have to befriend the homo sapiens because how else are they going to survive? They can't flint knap (which is difficult and requires skill. I know, I've tried and ended up bashing my finger about five different times), they don't know what plants are safe to eat or what's poisonous, and, oh, there are about elevenity hundred different predators that are more than capable of killing them.

Of course, let's not forget that there are viruses and diseases the colonists won't have any immunity to that will decimate their population, and vice versa for the homo sapiens. The two groups are going to have to interbreed to survive.

This brings me to my last point (promise!). The way Lee was talking about the homo sapiens, giving them the "best parts" of their culture smacked a lot of colonialism. That was the basis for imperialism and enslaving other races, so well done, show.

In conclusion, not dynamic or shocking or radical, but really, really, painfully stupid. And that's not even including Kara Thrace's Symbolic Pigeon of Destiny.

Next let's move on to comics!

So we all know Barry Allen is coming back, yes? I don't really care, to be honest. Barry was always the most interesting when he was dead, but these variant covers are some of the laziest that I have ever seen:

It's like the artist woke up hungover and realized that this was due. "Well," he thinks to himself as he desperately tries not to vomit what little remains in his stomach, "Barry Allen was the first Flash, right? So, I'll, um, have him suiting up! And it'll be all evocative because he was dead but now he's back to being a hero! Let's have him pulling on a boot, and I'll had this weird wing thing to it, because that looks cool. Hm, probably should add something else, right? I mean, this is a little boring. I know! I'll stick some lightening bolts in his eyes, because he's fast like lightening! Also, that's his motif, I guess. Sure, it sort of looks like he's crying lightening like some weird mutant emo kid, but I'm sure the color will fix that. Do I need a background? Nah, I'll just stick him against a black, existentialist void. That'll make the colors pop. Okay, that took, like ten minutes. I'm need to start my drinking." And fade out.

And here's the other cover:

So the next day our intrepid artist realizes he needed another cover! Oh noes! Bravely fighting back the bile brought on by a bottle of Absinthe at the local strip club, our artist thinks to himself, "Oh god, what else can I do? Ugh, is that my tongue? Why is it so fuzzy? Oh, right, cover. Well, I drew the other one with Barry facing front, so this one will be him in profile! Hm, I should try to make it a little different, I guess. Instead of this black, featureless, existential void I'll had lightening bolts! Lots and lots of them because he's the Flash and he's fast like lightening! God I'm clever. I wonder what liquor I have left in the freezer?" End scene.

Seriously, though, DC, way to not put effort into this. I love how DC feels the need to kill off other popular characters and bring back the ones no one misses. So according the rule in comics which states, the only characters who die and stay dead are Barry Allen, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben. Well, one out of three isn't bad. Or, actually that's 33.3%, so nevermind (can you spot the Terry Pratchett joke?).

Hey, DC, if you're going to continue on the path of having no lasting effects ever in your comics, I demand you bring back Vibe! Sure he had weird vibrating powers that he activated through break dancing and he had a fake accent that at times was borderline racist, but hey, why the hell not? After all, Barry freaking Allen is back and doing whatever it is he does that I frankly don't care about. If you really had to bring back a Flash you couldn't pick Bart? At least he was cute and snuggable.

Still in the realm of comics we have this:

Dear Jon Hamm,

You rock and I am now totally committed to watching Mad Men. Also, you're adorable and I want to hug you in your poorly applied bald cap.



And there's these:

I need these shoes. I covet them. It doesn't even matter that I can't wear heels because I need these zombie heels LIKE BURNING. I am aware that doesn't make sense. That is the power of the zombie heels.

And finally I shall leave you with viking kittens.

Happy Friday!


Danicus said...

ugh. dont even get me started on Barry Allen. You're right, he works better as an example to Wally than he does as a character. If we want an older mentor figure, Jay Garrick, the ORIGINAL Flash, is still active on the Justice Society, and is WORLDS better than Barry, as far as stories go.
Having Bart back would be nice too, but only if they somehow de-aged him and made him Kid Flash again. His time as the Flash was woefully boring.
While we're resurrecting speedsters, why dont we bring back Johnny Quick? A hero who can run fast because of math? What a badass.

bobbie said...

I didn't know I needed Viking kitties in my life until RIGHT NOW.