Because she is an awesome friend and she loves me and enables me! And no, you can't have her. She's my hetero lifepartner!
And so, dear readers, I propose to you a challenge. Envision your favorite Watchmen moments as if all the characters were horrible man-koala upright hybrids. Tell me about Dr. Koalahatten and how he built a giant flying euclaptyus tree on Mars! Or how Koala Spectre and Nite Koala totally beat up those baby koala punks! Let's not forget Koala Veidt's Australian paradise in Antarctica! Rewrite passages for the koala, or take a hint from Liz and doodle up some new character designs. C'mon, you know you wanna.
And, let's face it, it's only a matter of time before Alan Moore comes after us, wielding the thunderbolts he looted from Zeus' beard mauled corpse, so we might as well give him a reason to slake his thirst on our life essence!