Wednesday, February 25, 2009

That's not how crying works

This isn't really geeky, but like Darcy said, "This is relevant to my interests damnit!" And by that I mean I like to find things and make fun of them.

What I found was a photo exhibit about various actors crying. The exhibit focused on finding big masculine men (although some of them are really, really not masculine. I'm looking at you, Hayden Christansen) and presenting them in a different light.

Some of the photos are really striking, like Daniel Craig, who looked like he'd been crying for hours, and William Dafoe, who looked pretty damn wrecked.

I am, however, going to share my two favorites with you. And by now you should know that by "favorites" I mean "ones that I find to be hilarious."

I hate you, Hayden Christansen, and you stupid perfect emo tear and your pink shirt and your carefully styled messy hair and trying to look tragic and handsome and even crying you still manage to look dead inside and I want to hit you in your stupid whiny face!

How long do you think he sat there trying for that one perfect tear? "Wait, wait, don't take the picture just yet. I need to look both sad and beautiful. Can men be beautiful? I mean, I'm pretty damn good looking. Did you see Jumper? I was so damn hot in that. Oh, right I'm supposed to be thinking of something sad. Um, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, did you get the shot? Didn't my one perfect tear and pouty lips totally tug at your heart? God, I'm good."

Hayden Christansen is one of those people who if I see on the street I will be arrested for assault because I will brick him. In the face.

And now my ultimate favorite, I present to you, Robert Downey, Junior:

That's now how crying works, Robert Downey, Jr. Also, were you trying for thirteen year old girl? Good god, you look like your crush totally dumped you in front of your friends and oh god, why can't he see that you two are just meant to be together? Good thing you have that swooning couch. Just lay down, perfectly posed to let all viewers know of the abject tragedy of your life and listen to Evanescence. They'll all be sorry one day. You'll show them. You are smart and beautiful and THEY'LL BE SORRY.

Robert Downey Jr. is the poutiest princess in all the land. I sort of want to pet him.

ETA: Thanks to Liz for reminding me who was the manliest crying-est man of them all:

I think RDJ might have competition on who is the poutiest princess in all the land. Catfight!

Want more crying men? Go here.


Liz said...


Liz said...

Dan will use his big manly arms to crush you to his bosom and tell you everything is seem to be...scattered and bloody on a field of snow...

Danicus said...

Oh, Rorschach. you had me at "Dog carcass in alley this morning".