It's Just A Show So You Should Really Just Relax

So after my ridiculously long Frank Miller post the other day (omg so, so long) I think we'll shall focus on something shorter and that is a geek favorite everywhere: Mystery Science Theater 3000! I have yet to meet a person who was, "Mystery Science Theater? I hate that show!" Which is good because if I did I would be forced to brick that person in the face.

I want you to know that I'm writing this post I have some MST3K playing in the background because it is just that awesome.

In a lot of ways, besides being viciously funny, MST3K represents what every geek out there wants: making a career out of mocking things. I know my dream job is for someone to pay me to make fun of comics. I would be so awesome at that job.

What's frustrating is that it's taking so long for them to put MST3K out on DVD, even though it has been proven that geeks will buy the hell out of them. Of the over 100 episodes filmed over 10 years only about a quarter have been released as singles and in 14 volume sets. A lot of episodes are available on youtube, but Viacom has started taking them down because they, like Alan Moore, hate happiness. I demand more MST3K! Oh sure, put out the 8,000 seasons of 7th Heaven, but not an actually amazing show. I shake my fist at thee!

So I decided to share some of my favorite MST3K episodes with you. Just a head's up, I started watching when Mike came on the show and sort of imprinted on him, although I do acknowledge the awesomesauce of Joel.

First up we have The Puma Man. It's a touching story about a super white boy who is the son of an Aztec god, and wears a really stupid belt and manages to be completely ineffectual. Classic MST3K in which they are mean and funny!

Best line to sum up movie: "Are pumas also known for whining?"

Manos and the Hands of Fate. This is an absolutely essential. The movie is godawful, which makes for some hilarious riffing. Plus it gave us Torgo, who is later portrayed by Mike and is freaking hilarious.




The Screaming Skull. Features Mikey, who is like Torgo in that they're both viciously made fun of. Unfortunately, this video was taken down from youtube. It also includes one of my favorite lines: "Shanka lady will comfort you. Shanka lady is here."

Hamlet. A horrible dubbed atrocity of a made-for-German-TV version. At first watch, not a great episode, but gets exponentially funnier with each viewing.


Time Chasers. Another viciously funny one that has become so popular that they've released the original movie on DVD, although god only knows why you'd want to watch it without their commentary. The youtube video has already been taken down.


Overdrawn at the Memory Bank. Reasons to watch this: "Are you single, Fingal? You make tingle, Fingal. Fingal, would like a Pringle?" "I don't want to bungle or bopple the Fingal dopple." Also, this movie is for you if you also hate anteaters!

The Phantom Planet. A movie, as Crow says, about our old future! And flying chicken nuggets and weird looking blond men who go around making out with mute girls, who can't escape the lumbering, slow thing!

And I think my favorite one of all time: Space Mutiny! Also taken down by Viacom, because they hate happiness, sunshine, and puppies. It's hard for me to describe this movie without quoting it all to you, but the best part can be summed up thusly:

Don't miss the girly scream, the Spider Skank, and whatever you do, don't forget to MOVE MOVE MOVE!

For those of you out there who miss MST3K just as much as me, there's good news: Rifftrax. Where the gang is back together making fun of even more movies. You buy and download the tracks and then sync it up with the movie and you got yourself hours of mocking fun! My favorite is LotR: The Two Towers, which just gets meaner the longer the movie goes on. X-Men, 300 and the first Pirates are also amazing. So go, browse through the catalog and relive the wonders that is MST3K.

Want to share your fond memories of MST3K? Am I missing some truly amazing episodes not on the list? Enlighten me in the comments!