Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My Inner Geek and Inner Consumer Whore are in Agreement

We've all heard about this Watchmen movie thing, right? It's sort of a big deal, even if Alan Moore is using all of his warlock powers to alter the universe so that the movie never exists (Cheer up, Alan Moore! Just think of all your other work Hollywood has yet to defile. That's fodder for years of delicious, delicious bitterness for you to spew!).
As with anything that has ever the barest whiff of perhaps being successful, the movie is getting the crap marketed out of it. Besides the Watchmen video game (which I am with holding judgement for until I can actually play it, but am very cautiously optimistic for. Hey, who doesn't want to play as Rorschach and beat the crap out of people? Communists, that's who), I am still hoping for a line of plushies, because not only would I buy the hell out of a Rorschach plushie and I'm sure the paunchy Dan plushie would be an excellent pillow, but it comes with the added benefit of making Alan Moore's beard explode in anger.
But those things are, alas, not what made my inner geek and inner consumer whore stand up and proceed to do a tango. That honor would belong to this:


Yes, my friends, that is coffee based on Dan Drieberg, Nite Owl II. It's described like so:

"Flavors of ripe tropical fruit and rich cacao open up to complex spice with vanilla and sweet tobacco notes in this beautifully balanced cup. The luscious, creamy body will linger sweet and seductively on the tongue to keep you wanting more, morning and especially night."

My god that sounds delicious. Although, as I told my friend when she pointed this out to me, I would have thought if you marketed anything with Nite Owl's name on it it would have been exercise equipment (yeah, I went there).

Considering my hard won geek status, my caffeine addiction, and the aforementioned inner consumer whore, I am going to be forced to buy this coffee, but unfortunately it's sold out. At some point in the future when I have money I shall buy it and drink it and inform all of you if tastes paunchy or not.

This Nite Owl coffee does open up new possibilities for marketing, like Rorschach brand anti-psychotics! Dr. Manhattan's Emo Band from Mars! Silk Spectre cigarettes! Taste even better when lit with a flamethrower!

The possibilities are endless. Or would be until Alan Moore finds out and goes on a rampage with his scythe that he stole from Death. Oh, Alan Moore, why do you hate happiness? And life giving coffee?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Y'know, you'd think Nite Owl brand coffee would be delicious, but it just leaves you limp and unsatisfied. (yeah, i went there)

Jayne said...

Congratulations, Danicus, you win at the internets with that comment.

Although if you drink that coffee out of a Nite Owl mug for the costumed effect, you then have the energy to stage a jailbreak.

Anonymous said...

I'll stick with my Comedian brand whiskey. The bottle is made from breakaway glass for more efficient facial disfigurement.

Oh, and speaking of Rorschach anti-psychotics...
http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20090209.html